i hear ya bro, i miss being in school so much. that was my shit.
Yeah I miss it bad sometimes. The worse things are for me the more I miss it. Right now I'm pretty good, especially because my friends I usually hang out with here all live in the same duplex and we walk into each others' places and there's usually chillin' going on, and it reminds me of college.
So I did the fun thing- I am reading back on our old social threads. Some really funny and amusing conversation back then! What a special moment in time we can return to- for me, 2007/8 to 2010 was probably the most invigorating internet experience I have had; I can't imagine such occurring again.
What a beautiful time. For me 2006-2008 was the golden time, summer 2006 was like, literally magical, it felt like the universe was coming alive. I can't explain it, but love and sparkles were in the air, all the time. That was also before shit started hitting the fan for me, it was such an innocent time. I was doing lots of psychedelics and addicted to opiates but the negative sides of that had not yet hit me. I also miss that time very much sometimes. One of the best times of my life, and certainly very formative.
See, that's actually one of the more amazing parts about that period; the love and positivity were felt almost universally amongst the users of PD and PD social at that time. It wasn't a singular anomaly, it was a shared experience of some kind of shared euphoria and real friendship. It was beautiful. And much treasured by me. Sadly, it prefaced a very difficult period for me, but I don't think I could have survived that dark period had it not been preceded by such light
The banter and humour, rarely did it go over-ones-head; a lot of us seemed to be on a very similar wavelength, sharing and enhancing each others experience of the same phenomena. Really unique experience in my life at least...
I would like to find the earliest social threads; I can't seem to- anyone know a way? I'm finding some of my own content circa 2011 to be disturbing TBH and so much I can't really remember, but I do so wish to read some of the earlier ones....
Yeah that's the thing, everyone here was feeling it. Posts full of colored letters and hearts... especially from samadhi_andy.
I miss that dude, I wish he came around here (meaning PD as well as Asheville) more often.
Even my ex felt it, and she had nothing to do with psychedelics or PD. We had many discussions about how it felt like something was happening, like something was in the air.
willow11 said:
Thanks for your well-wishes brother
You sound like you may be suffering the aftereffects of consecutive positive emotional experiences-suddenly, when the world slows down again, something feels like its missing...That's when us addicts turn to extraneous garbage, to reignite that flame, but its a false light and takes way more then it gives. You are probably needing a quieter period, some stability and a few nights in. Oh, and no more drinking!
You been seeing your new lady-friend anymore?
Yeah I think you're right, such huge emotional highs, and now a backlash energetically. Coupled with too many substances (especially alcohol) and lack of sleep. I do feel quite a bit better today so far, still a bit sluggish but I'm not anxious and off feeling this morning. I made sure to get good sleep and eat well the past two days. And I didn't turn to opiates or anything so I'm proud of myself.
I've hung out with her twice, but the past couple of days she's been dealing with roommate issues and this morning is going out of town for a week or so. Her roommate is really cool to talk to, but he's been being inappropriate... always making comments to her and trying to give her back rubs, etc, even though she has told him every time that she's not into him and to please don't do that. The first night we hung out she told me about it, phrased as a question, "is he crossing the line?" I said yes, absolutely, if he's tried to give you back rubs with an obvious intent for it to go somewhere 6 times, then after the first time it was definitely crossing the line since you told him no. I guess he's getting more intense about it and since they're friends it was making her pretty upset. So she's kicking him out (or maybe did already, not sure). Plus trying to plan her trip... so I didn't get a chance to see her before she went. Hopefully she'll want to hang out when she gets back, I don't see any reason why not. I'm not too sure she's into me like that or not... if I went just by our phone communication and the first time we hung out, I'd say yeah, she's definitely into me, but since then I've gotten mixed messages. Could be that she's stressed and being cautious, or could be that she just wants to be friends. I think that's part of why I was in a funk too, I was thinking about it a lot and I wish I just knew, but I felt like I shouldn't ask her about it until some more time goes by if I still can't tell because I just met her Thursday for fuck's sake. 8)
I feel kinda ridiculous letting that get me down... looking back I let myself get all built up about it pretty much instantly, I need to protect myself better than that. I guess it's just that it was a really intense experience first meeting her, I mean, a really intense, sudden connection to this person who I instantly really liked. That's exciting of course, but the way I reacted I don't think was completely healthy for me.
The education is free. Well I have to pay this 114€ payment when I sign in for the semester but that's it
Damn man, my BOOKS for each semester cost around $500... and tuition was around $10,000 per year. And my school was cheap compared to many universities, and in-state (meaning your tuition is lower).
I sometimes also get a yearning to have existed during different points in history. From watching Mad Men, there is something soooo appealing about the culture of the 1950's/60's to me. I mentioned this to my homosexual friend J who rapidly reminded me of just how predjucided and ignorant society was at that time; especially towards a person such as him. Leads me to then think of other epochs and the accompanying social constraints, and how I would have floundered and probably been dead already had I been born 200 yrs ago. Everyman in his place; too bad if your place is the gutter. Grass aint always greener....
I often find myself wishing I could have lived as a young adult during the 60s, I feel drawn to that whole thing. Seems like it would have been an awesome experience. Not so much the 50s for me though. It also would have been cool to be alive during the golden age of the ancient Greeks, probably anyway.
EDIT: I just remembered a dream I had last night, where I was up north with my family and took some LSD, first I took like 4 blotter hits and then sucked on a vial which after I did so I realized might have been a lot. I had a nice trip in my dream but it was far weaker than I would have thought. Still, cool to trip in your dreams.
For now, online, right here will have to do.
