I feel ya xorkoth, just like I don't really understand how people can just stay with the first person they are with... I'd say it is healthy to explore options so that you appreciate the value of the one you pick at some point. Also am reminded of how it's less meaningful to be happy if you're not also sad sometimes.
Made a homemade italian crust pizza with white garlic ricewine butter sauce instead of red, mozzarella, grilled tomato, ceps (bolete mushrooms), jumbo shrimp and parsley but I think my roommate prepared weedbutter in one of the pans I used cause it certainly tastes like that... lol
Sounds delicious! Yeah, that's what I did the first time, my first relationship outside of high school I stayed with for 12 years and married her. In retrospect it was not the right relationship from the start, but we were happy for a long time. And I loved her very much (and she loved me very much). I was convinced she was my soulmate most of the time but I am so much happier now that I'm not with her anymore. I don't know, when we got together I was self-conscious and shy and not confident at all with girls. I think that had a lot to do with why I didn't see what I should have seen. And also because I fall in love easily, I feel really intensely, and when you love someone it's not so simple.
So listen to this, it's not really a big deal but I'm a wee bit embarrased over it haha! I just had an interview today for a very 'professional' position. At the end of the initial interview the lady I had the pleasure of meeting with told me to review some information and email her later today if I was for sure interested in the position to continue with the interview process. For some reason my gmail has my first and last name set as Raj Twoosh. I use it for youtube. And as you see it's also my name here. But that's about as far from my real name as you can get! I wonder what the hell she thought hahahah!
Hey Raj, nice to see you posting in here, the best part of the Internet (PD Social I mean).
Oh man, that's embarrassing.
On ibogaine (which I took to beat opiate addiction 5 months ago), I emailed my boss trying to explain to him that I needed to talk to someone and was freaking out, on the third day when I was emerging (I had no supervision at that time which was the only reason I freaked out, no one to talk me down). The email was THE WORST email to send your boss, totally illegible. It turned out okay but man was I scared. Good thing my boss and I are friends and he already knew I was struggling with opiate addiction, so I just explained later and he supported it.
Alternatively, one might get into the-grass-is-always-greener type thinking and habitually follow the ephemeral passion of infatuation, thus impairing their ability to engage in healthy, long-term relationships. I think we bunch of (ex-)drug addicts ought to appreciate that learning is involuntary, and that one ought to consider the ramifications of following their caprice. (I'm dealing with abstract, hypothetical people here)
Anyway, back to giving unsolicited advice to our friend: If you want to engage in a series of casual relationships right now (which may well be healthy, IMO), you need to be upfront about it. You don't wanna go into a relationship with mismatched conceptions of what it means, lest you break someone's heart unnecessarily, which is a reprehensible thing to do to someone who has claim upon your loyalty and honesty.
Yeah I agree completely. Flynn is totally feeling the same way, doesn't want a relationship right now. What happened between us was very special and close and loving but there was no commitment made and no expectation of not being with anyone else while she's gone. I definitely don't want to hurt anyone. For me, dating/sex is about realness and closeness and truthfulness (I learned my lesson about that with my 12 year relationship/marriage in which I ended up being very untruthful with her - though I have never cheated, I strongly do not believe in that).
So my MXE came today... 4 days door to door, it's a new record! And from Spain too in a regular airmail envelope. Gonna go to my friends' house and divvy it up tonight, the same friend I've been jamming with.
Speaking of jamming, I am hoping to get the recording of the jam we did the other night with this new drummer guy. Something about the 4 of us playing together was magical, every jam sounded like a premeditated song with lots of jam time, but we didn't discuss anything beforehand, not even what chord progressions to use or anything. It blows my mind how good it was, and how good that drummer is. And he was so considerate, he gave me plenty of time where he fell back and let my djembe shine through. So excited to share it with you guys.
I just took some 4-FMA I got as a sample in my MXE order... we'll see how that is.
I would say to remind me of this post if you notice me on a fucked up sleep schedule and talking nonsense, but I do that anyway, so... Just wish me luck, I guess?
haha
