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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 PD Social Thread 2022-2025 v. Year of the Phenethylamine

Xorkoth said:
No, he died in 2019, so it's been a while. I just read through the memoir that my mom compiled and gave us for his first death anniversary, full of letters and photos from all sorts of people we/he/they knew. I've read it before but not in 2 years. Had a really big, extended cry, but it was a good thing. <3
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I'm sorry to hear about your dad, @Xorkoth. That must be tough.

This girl on my couch lost her son right before Easter last year so I think that's part of my problem here too.

Her 5 yr old son was playing with a gun he found at his dad's house and shot himself in the head. Then they took her other kids.

She's been through a lot... It's really not my problem though when it boils down to it. If I had known all of this the other day I probably wouldn't have slept with her.
 
JackARoe said:
I have to look up 311 day. :)
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311 is one of my favorite bands and they have a "holiday " on March 11th. They celebrate with a big 3 day concert, or a Caribbean cruise with a bunch of bands on the boat. I've never been to either, but here's a video of maybe my favorite song by them..doesn't start til 1 minute if you're not digging the funky intro
 
Xorkoth said:
Today is the anniversary of my dad's death. I still haven't fully processed that whole ordeal. His actual death was a blessing, he had wanted to die for years. The real trauma was watching ALS change him from the strongest, kindest, most giving man I've known, to an anxious, miserable shell of himself.

My family is going to do a Zoom with me this evening because they're all gathering at my mom's house, and I'm 750 miles away.
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Yeah, it's an image that stays burned onto the retina, isn't it.

I couldn't tell you whether I've processed it. As horrible as it is to see someone's dreams and physical form.. melt.. as horrible as that is, it got buried under the more salient event of my mother going insane the same night of his death. The cancer worked slowly, and time affords some defences. But when someone snaps mentally like that, it's so sudden, it's so unexpected. And they're not dead.. part of you wish they were, but they're not. The body is still there and moving and acting. But it's their role that has died. She was no longer the Giver of life, she had become like Death, the destroyer of worlds. And you're still a minor, so all the violence and betrayal you receive generated by her inability to peacefully mourn her loss, you can't legally flee from it. You just have to let your heart get ripped apart more, and more, and more. Until it's like it's not there anymore.

So that's what flashes back through my mind whenever people kindly tell me about this and that to just suck it up. It evokes images of these people getting plucked off the street, tied up, and tortured with their screams unanswered but with the same words telling them that what's wrong here is not the situation but their goddamn pitiful inability to just suck it up. Because perhaps in grotesquely hyperbolic imagery they'll second-guess shallow advise and consider the relevance of context.
 
simstim said:
How is 4-FMA? I'm curious. 4-fluoromethcathinone was nice, 4-FA was ok, too, so I would like to try the methamphetamine and compare.

Sorry that you're having issues. I couldn't imagine.
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As Xorkoth says, It's halfway between 4-fa and meth. I'd prefer either 4-Fa or Meth for their own purposes, but 4-FMA is a nice euphoric stim. Less "rolly" than 4-fa but a little less pushy than meth
cosmic charlie said:
Sorry to hear about the troubles, life can be difficult i hear yeah. Dissociative abuse can lead to absolute trainwrecks and sabotage your whole life. Ive had a number of run-ins with Cops/EMTs when i was completely blitz on the more direct PCP/PCE analogs. They are absolutely not the sort of things to try and push the limit with cuz the line between a goodtime and temporary psychosis/blackout can be pretty thin. They make me compulsively redose sometimes which is absolutely not necessary cuz i will already be really fucked up.

If the timelock safe isnt made out of metal i wouldnt even trust it with me cuz ive broken the plastic ones with a hammer more than once. But that being said i dont have a problem with all dissos, the MXE like drugs im able to tolerate well. The positive effects outweigh the risks for me so i continue to indulge, i can get by with taking them a couple days a week.

Even that is a little much tho and im trying to reign it in. As much as i love the manic euphoria of the others im just not willing to sabotage everything right now, everything is going well for me right now. How long were you blacked out for it sounds like awhile from ypur story. Depending on the dose i generally lose an hour and a whole lot of shit can happen in that time period.

Good luck with the new job 🙂
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Yeah, this experience has shown me that I at least shouldn't use the manic PCP/PCE analogues. They get me into trouble. Only Hole-y dissociatives for me now.
Xorkoth said:
@SuperPsych... wow, I'm sorry everything is so rough right now. <3 I remember how excited you were about your partner... sorry that didn't work out. :( And I'm glad you're alright after that experience.
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Oh it's okay. There's good in everything. It may be for the best. I've been struggling with my own gender identity issues for years and dating her served as a kind of distraction from working on my own issues. But we left on a good note, the few months we spent together were really special and we remain friends. Was talking with her tonight and we're gonna try to set up a day to hangout for the first time since the breakup. Who knows? We may still have a chance. The breakup was sort of a knee jerk reaction to a little bump in the road that we hit. Not getting my hopes up or anything. I'm just happy to have her in my life in any capacity, whether romantic or platonic. She's an amazing person and I'm so happy to have met her.
 
Img_9999 said:
Anyone else noticed how good of a high is drinking some coffee on top of a dissociative afterglow? Gets me all warm and manic
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No, never tbh... But I was never that much of a coffee drinker (until now)

So it turns out I probably have Crohn's disease, I've been having all the same symptoms my father & siblings had when it started for maybe half a year now, very annoying and slightly worrying. In typical ADHD fashion, I've been putting off telling anyone & scheduling an appointment =D I hope this will be the end of my diagnoses list, which seems to be coming along nicely.....

I've been thinking of taking a psychedelic again sometime soon, mescaline (San Pedro) maybe, a fairly low dose. I said I was done, back in November I think? I said there was no point for me, maybe, I had good reasons to say that. Some things have changed though, different intentions too. I might enjoy it, it's a very good drug after all.
 
Damn man, I hope you don't have Crohn's, although genetics seem to be against you. But if you do, it's going to be so much better for you if you get it treated ASAP.

And as for mescaline, of all the psychedelics I can think if, it seems like the least likely to cause a bad reaction.
 
Xorkoth said:
Damn man, I hope you don't have Crohn's, although genetics seem to be against you. But if you do, it's going to be so much better for you if you get it treated ASAP.

And as for mescaline, of all the psychedelics I can think if, it seems like the least likely to cause a bad reaction.
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Yeah Mescaline is really gentle drug for me, quite empathogenic with just enough psychedelia to be quite engaging. It doesnt go super deep for me on its own but ive also never pushed the dose past 50g's of dried San Pedro. But at that level it was a really beautifully trip.

Another psychedelic that could be good candidate would be modest dosage of 2C-C. Think it would be close to impossible for me to have a bad time on that one. If you stick to light hearted phens you should be okay Buzz. Deep diving with Tryptamines and Lysergamides would deff bw riskier.
 
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On the topic of a caffeine buzz, I recall a certain experience I had in grad school. I wasn't a coffee drinker back then, but I enjoyed tea. I was also in my "2ce phase," having acquired it as my first RC, during my first year of grad school. I had dosed 2ce roughly once per month for probably a couple years, and sometimes as often as every week. Not surprisingly, I developed a mild case of "HPPD" (in quotes, because it doesn't really qualify as HPPD as it didn't interfere with my life).
During a lab meeting, I was enjoying a cup of tea (most likely with a fading cannabis buzz from that morning) and felt the caffeine really kick in, along with my HPPD symptoms. I was suddenly getting quite strong visuals to the point that it felt like I was tripping. It was actually kinda fun! But overall, kinda worrisome as well. Eventually the HPPD went away once I stopped eating 2ce so often.
 
Xorkoth said:
I have always found it pretty twisted that so many of the drug trials done on animals use just absolutely disgusting levels of dosage, which doesn't even remotely replicate any sort of situation any normal human would find themselves in. What makes it twisted is, what does it even show or achieve, if it's just injecting 50 times the recreational dose directly into the brain? That's just animal abuse...
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Sometimes high doses are given to relatively large numbers of lab rats, for instance, in order to establish the LD₅₀, or “lethal dose 50” – the dose at which half the animals die. Establishing this gives insight into the relative safety of a substance.

Of course, there’s still George Ricaurte, who reported erroneous data about MDMA regarding MDMA neurotoxicity. Eventually the article was retracted.

Different subject ☞ Can anyone tell me which mod edited my comment (page-82#post-15768347) in this thread and why they did so? Did I break site rules? If so, how?

I sincerely hope this is not bc I was ribbing @Chris Timothy – that was a good-natured suggestion to recalibrate his expectations re: college. If it doesn’t apply, let it fly, right? So why were my words pruned? Whoever edited my post on the sly is acting, in my opinion, rather cowardly in not saying a single word to me about this. Mostly I’d like to know what I said that was so controversial…
 
I took a look and unedited it. I felt it was rather harsh, but it doesn't break any rules. I do think you were probably trying to be helpful, although the tone was somewhat mocking, I thought. I guess someone thought it was too much for this thread, but I don't think it was so I reverted ot.
 
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