Buzz Lightbeer
Bluelight Crew
And now I sit here, having snorted cocaine for the past three hours, what a ginormous idiot. Strange batch too, very different from another one I had, I can't figure it out.
🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 PD Social Thread 2022-2025 v. Year of the Phenethylamine
- Thread starter arrall
- Start date
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
Coke has such a brutal comedown for me if i dont have Benzos or Opioids. Like its a nightmare and i cant even subject myself to it anymore. If i dont have some Dope to shoot up i wont even touch Crack/Cocaine. But that being said when i have a gram of powder and a bundle and i do 200mgs/Two Bag injections of Coke and Dope shots the rush from those is pretty godly and not many drugs can match it for pure euphoria.
But its gotta be so bad for you, i feel so sorry for my heart and the stress i put it under for so many years, i know its gonna catch up to me one day when i am an older man. When i broke up with my fiance a couple years ago i started doing Dope/Crack like 4-5 times a week and when on the dark downward spiral that Xorky was talking about.
Everytime i think about doing those drugs now it reminds me of that and its a major turnoff, its deff a good thing for me cuz its very difficult for me to find balance using things like that. If i stick to psychedelics and use dissos responsibly i will be a much happier person in the end, and those are my favorite sorta drugs anyways. By leaps and miles.
But its gotta be so bad for you, i feel so sorry for my heart and the stress i put it under for so many years, i know its gonna catch up to me one day when i am an older man. When i broke up with my fiance a couple years ago i started doing Dope/Crack like 4-5 times a week and when on the dark downward spiral that Xorky was talking about.
Everytime i think about doing those drugs now it reminds me of that and its a major turnoff, its deff a good thing for me cuz its very difficult for me to find balance using things like that. If i stick to psychedelics and use dissos responsibly i will be a much happier person in the end, and those are my favorite sorta drugs anyways. By leaps and miles.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Coke is a weird drug. Not sure how it is in your area, but around here it's all nowhere near as good as it was back a decade, two decades ago. I'm sure such coke exists, but I never find it, even when it's reported to be really good. If I just do a little bit of coke, I don't feel bad from it, but it's the age-old struggling to have a bag of it and not keep doing it. So yeah, it typically requires a downer for me. Alcohol actually works though, but it doesn't really help me sleep at all, it just smooths it out.
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
god damn that was one helluva 5-meo-mipt trip, floored friend.
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
Hope y'all are partying down, enjoy your nite
Buzz Lightbeer
Bluelight Crew
Nothing better than having leftover chili after a brutal hangover day, all around fantastic.
Happy new year to everyone!
Happy new year to everyone!
Dreamflyer
Bluelighter
Last night I dreamed that I posted on Bluelight to thank all of you for being here through some of my toughest times, so I thought that it would be cool to actually do it...
Thank you all for being here through some of my toughest times!!!
Much Love,
Dreamflyer
Thank you all for being here through some of my toughest times!!!
Much Love,
Dreamflyer
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
This is the end of me being on 5mgs of Methadone after tapering down from 105mgs over the last 4 months, tommorow is my last dose. Still unsure whether or not i will go on Bupre. May just stay on nothing and then occasionally take Kratom Extracts when i wanna tickle those old opioid receptors. Probably gonna be doing that honestly. Just depends what happens the next week on nothing, if its bad i will jump on the Bupre.
That being said i took 80mgs of Memantine this morning to get it flowing through my system and i will probably take 20mgs most days this week to keep a steady amount in my bloodstream. And then when i start to feel more sick up the dose. Have the next ten days off work to go through this, may not be going back to the same job i kinda wanna find something with morning/afternoon shifts the late nights are really fucking with me.
Needed this time to transition off the Methadone tho cuz its gonna be ruff taking nothing at all at first but at least with the Memantine i think i will be able to push through it. Been a long road i have taken a Opioid daily since 2016 this time straight run, so just the thought of finally being free from addiction is pretty remarkable.
That being said i took 80mgs of Memantine this morning to get it flowing through my system and i will probably take 20mgs most days this week to keep a steady amount in my bloodstream. And then when i start to feel more sick up the dose. Have the next ten days off work to go through this, may not be going back to the same job i kinda wanna find something with morning/afternoon shifts the late nights are really fucking with me.
Needed this time to transition off the Methadone tho cuz its gonna be ruff taking nothing at all at first but at least with the Memantine i think i will be able to push through it. Been a long road i have taken a Opioid daily since 2016 this time straight run, so just the thought of finally being free from addiction is pretty remarkable.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Good job, Charlie! 105mg to 5mg in a fairly short time is a big accomplishment! If you can avoid going on bupre with memantine to help, then that would be amazing. But definitely go for the bupe if you feel in danger of relapsing on dope. Sucks to be addicted to anything, bupe included, but at least bupe is safe and makes you feel normal and keeps you out of the ups and down and daily struggle of being addicted to other opioids.
Personally kratom always makes me start to take it 24/7... I can't keep it to a once in a while thing. Even though it's really not that great. I guess the same can be said of any opioid though... for me it's all or nothing, it seems.
I'm working on reducing my bupe dose down to 2mg this year. Although without even thinking about it, I took my full 6mg this morning. I think I am going to start by taking 4mg twice a day, that should be an easy drop. Then I'll do 3mg twice a day, then 2mg twice a day. Then maybe 2mg once a day, or else 1mg twice a day, but the problem with that is, under 2mg, and it doesn't saturate the receptors anymore so I might withdraw at that level. So 2mg once per day might be easier.
Then once I have been on that for a while (the bupe doctor wants me to be on bupe for 2 years before I try to get off - so I might try to stick with 2mg per day for the rest of the year, but we'll see), I will work on trying to get below 2mg. I want to try t taper down to an extremely low dose, like 0.05mg/day, before jumping off entirely. At that point I will certainly use memantine to help me, and my hope is that at such a low dose, memantine can just totally block any discomfort.
Personally kratom always makes me start to take it 24/7... I can't keep it to a once in a while thing. Even though it's really not that great. I guess the same can be said of any opioid though... for me it's all or nothing, it seems.
I'm working on reducing my bupe dose down to 2mg this year. Although without even thinking about it, I took my full 6mg this morning. I think I am going to start by taking 4mg twice a day, that should be an easy drop. Then I'll do 3mg twice a day, then 2mg twice a day. Then maybe 2mg once a day, or else 1mg twice a day, but the problem with that is, under 2mg, and it doesn't saturate the receptors anymore so I might withdraw at that level. So 2mg once per day might be easier.
Then once I have been on that for a while (the bupe doctor wants me to be on bupe for 2 years before I try to get off - so I might try to stick with 2mg per day for the rest of the year, but we'll see), I will work on trying to get below 2mg. I want to try t taper down to an extremely low dose, like 0.05mg/day, before jumping off entirely. At that point I will certainly use memantine to help me, and my hope is that at such a low dose, memantine can just totally block any discomfort.
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
My boss actually just texted me since i wrote that and said they would want me to comeback if i can, i am a damn good worker. But i really needed this time to get right because im going though some stuff right now and having to work six days a week ontop of it would have just been too much.
So having the first ten days off Methadone to take it easy will be much better. Having to cook at a insane pace at the sametime could break me and i would have ended up quitting. They weren't thrilled about me having to take this time off but i gotta handle this.
So having the first ten days off Methadone to take it easy will be much better. Having to cook at a insane pace at the sametime could break me and i would have ended up quitting. They weren't thrilled about me having to take this time off but i gotta handle this.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
I'm glad that they're willing to work with you. Taking time off work definitely helps a LOT when dealing with opiate withdrawal. In fact, there have been a number of times I managed to drop down quite low (when I was just using kratom), but the fact that I was so busy with the band and my job caused me to fail to quit, because all I had the strength to do was curl up into the fetal position and take hot showers, and watch TV or read. Having to function at a high level for work was not possible. The time I successfully cold turkeyed and got off opiates without using ibogaine, in summer 2020, I took 2 weeks off work and rented a cabin in the woods. I was able to focus on working out, and could just sit and read, and go on hikes, and other stuff like that, which helped me so much. It would have gone very differently if I had had to work during those weeks. I was at the cabin for a month, and the last 2 weeks, I did work, but took two days off per week so that I was mostly not working.
That attempt to quit was a total success... unfortunately my cat died the day I got home and I relapsed immediately.
That attempt to quit was a total success... unfortunately my cat died the day I got home and I relapsed immediately.
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- Jan 16, 2009
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- 4,451
If I could have a month on a tropical beach i would quit kratom now too. I know I need a month as it has been a solid 10 years. A month really is not much. But for now let's see, I have 50 people from 50 projects at work looking for me, a wife with such health issues and now a ripped out kitchen and living out of corners until the kitchen is built. Lots of work. Then I go down to take care of my two 90 year old parents. The only kid around and I am 2 hours away. Seems I had an excuse the last several years of also having to function at a high level all the time. I never expected this when I was younger. So much easier to plan a kick. I need some me time. I guess the good news is I am down to 20 gr of kratom a day from 50 and stayed there the last year. I take 24 hour breaks at times. I just need a month of me time. I am glad I did not use anything heavier in a long time. Kratom is bad enough. Had been tempted to hit some pods again but did not.
I will say this Charlie, it is better to be balanced even if you still have to take a little methadone than to completely quit and be so off balance that you start shoveling in dissociatives to counteract the withdrawal. Balance is more important here. But yeah if you get the time and feel it then I would go for quitting too and being done with it. But this is the slippery slope time that needs extra attention. You have to be a Jedi here.
(like Luke Skywalker)
I will say this Charlie, it is better to be balanced even if you still have to take a little methadone than to completely quit and be so off balance that you start shoveling in dissociatives to counteract the withdrawal. Balance is more important here. But yeah if you get the time and feel it then I would go for quitting too and being done with it. But this is the slippery slope time that needs extra attention. You have to be a Jedi here.
(like Luke Skywalker)
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
Yes balance is of course the goal, but im telling you Memantine is some really lovely stuff. Right now i a gots the permagrin and listening to Avey Tare, drinking ice tea and eating kettlechips. Hell of a day honestly its so nice to have this vacation ive been busting my ass for a longtime. Im not gonna be doing any FXE until after probabtion is over in October, it was nice to get that heavy trip in there it really scratched the itch.
And it was wild to guys, when i holed i was brought back to the begining if the universe. Literally into the void of nothing and then wham an explosion of energy which was the big bang. And during all of this an entity was speaking to me and told me of how this force of life and consciousness that we and everything are made of is such a beautiful and majestic gift. It was one of the best trips of my life and ive gone on so many.
FXE is one of my favorite Dissos ever. Its sort of like a cross between Ketamine/MXE really fantastic material. Whats awesome is i'll have 33 grams of the stuff put away in massive amber vial for next winter. The only Dissos im gonna be doing for now is the Memantine cuz its very easy for me to control, that FXE needs to be kept away from me under my girlfriends control locked up. And when it comes out of the safe she will weigh out 500mgs and then put it back.
Lucky me right
And it was wild to guys, when i holed i was brought back to the begining if the universe. Literally into the void of nothing and then wham an explosion of energy which was the big bang. And during all of this an entity was speaking to me and told me of how this force of life and consciousness that we and everything are made of is such a beautiful and majestic gift. It was one of the best trips of my life and ive gone on so many.
FXE is one of my favorite Dissos ever. Its sort of like a cross between Ketamine/MXE really fantastic material. Whats awesome is i'll have 33 grams of the stuff put away in massive amber vial for next winter. The only Dissos im gonna be doing for now is the Memantine cuz its very easy for me to control, that FXE needs to be kept away from me under my girlfriends control locked up. And when it comes out of the safe she will weigh out 500mgs and then put it back.
Lucky me right
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
Just listened to this podcast yesterday and again this morning its so good any of you guys that are fans of psychedelics will absolutely enjoy it
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
Well i decided to go for the gusto this morning and i just swallowed 130mgs of Memantine, which is going to be my largest dose yet. Got some sleep last night maybe 7hrs and still feel the other dose moving through me a bit. Im anticipating this being the obviously deepest trip im going to be having on the substance.
Could say this is only being done in the preparation of my last Methadone dose this morning, but im also quite curious where i can go with this one. Physically ive been able to tolerate larger doses of it just find, as in not experiencing the nausea some people do but that being said i am still not on the extreme side of dosing.
People i speak to in the sub-reddit are taking 300+ mgs at a time which is just fucking nuts to me. The last time i took 120mgs it was a pretty powerful trip that lasted multiple days. id dosed it super early this time at 5:30am cuz its gonna be taking quite awhile to peak.
Listening to another Hamilton Morris podcast with Dennis Mckenna that is very enjoyable as well.
Could say this is only being done in the preparation of my last Methadone dose this morning, but im also quite curious where i can go with this one. Physically ive been able to tolerate larger doses of it just find, as in not experiencing the nausea some people do but that being said i am still not on the extreme side of dosing.
People i speak to in the sub-reddit are taking 300+ mgs at a time which is just fucking nuts to me. The last time i took 120mgs it was a pretty powerful trip that lasted multiple days. id dosed it super early this time at 5:30am cuz its gonna be taking quite awhile to peak.
Listening to another Hamilton Morris podcast with Dennis Mckenna that is very enjoyable as well.