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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: Firly Swolks Discussing Mitillating Tatters Fithout Wilters

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You'll be fine, it takes work. I relapsed more times than I could count before finally giving them up, took the death of someone close combined with a peak experience a week later to finally break me of them then a week of hell as I detoxed from methadone. Thankfully I'd already cut to dose down to the absolute minimum before doing this but it still felt like I'd been walking around in a fog for years. Don't be surprised if you become very pissed at life in general after quitting them and the initial withdrawal wears off. I think that's why a lot of folks keep going back...I mean who doesn't want to be happy and not in pain?

Changing subjects: I was thinking about people I've met in my life this morning. I wanted to tell y'all about one of them. His name was Ong and he was from an Amazon tribe. He worked with me in Florida when I was a landscaper and barely spoke English. He was always in a great mood...all smiles. Just the thought of living in America made him happy and I think he considered himself to be rich from making $10 an hour. Anyway, he rarely spoke to anyone due to the lack of English but he could ask simple questions and respond with simple answers. I recall one day we were sitting in the back of the work truck together on the way to the job sight. It was us two and a cab full of surfer dudes that considered both of us to be oddballs. They were all city boys and loved to make fun of both our accents. We were stopped at a red light and I was watching a squirrel that was walking a powerline. City squirrels always caught my attention because they were so damn smart and I honestly never expected to see them in the middle of this large city but they were everywhere.

Ong spoke to me for the first time;
Ong: You eat?
Me: Squirrel?
Ong: Yes, you eat?
Me: Yes, it's good

He just smiled, and from then on we were the best of friends.
 
=D

Funny shit man... I remember one time I canoed out to an island with my buddy and we were shooting the pellet gun around at random shit. Just young and being foolish... anyways, my friend pointed out a little red squirrel to me and it was a tough shot like I wasn't thinking anything bad would happen. We had been shooting at birds and missing for around an hour, so I ended up pulling the trigger and hitting this baby red squirrel in the neck. The poor thing died in my buddies hands, it was fucked up man. I am a vegetarian now, but that is one of my greatest regrets. We could hear the poor thing's parents freaking out as we canoed away. I got little baby red squirrel blood on my hands for life now... it's impossible to wash that off. So stupid, I had no idea that was going to happen and only later on when I stopped eating meat apart from a little seafood on occasion that I realized what an evil thing I had done. We didn't eat the squirrel but it probably would have been delicious considering it lived in an island habita surrounded by a crisp, clean lake.

Just one question did you guys get insomnia bad like this when you quit? I only am getting it now, past 3 weeks. I am sleeping around 2 hours a day and it is driving me crazy a little... it's just exhausting, really but at least I have a night-time job to keep me busy or I'd just be laying awake at night in a state of limbo. That is kind of how today has been for me so far, I want to sleep so bad but I can't.
 
HeadphonesandLSD said:
Changing subjects: I was thinking about people I've met in my life this morning. I wanted to tell y'all about one of them. His name was Ong and he was from an Amazon tribe. He worked with me in Florida when I was a landscaper and barely spoke English. He was always in a great mood...all smiles. Just the thought of living in America made him happy and I think he considered himself to be rich from making $10 an hour. Anyway, he rarely spoke to anyone due to the lack of English but he could ask simple questions and respond with simple answers. I recall one day we were sitting in the back of the work truck together on the way to the job sight. It was us two and a cab full of surfer dudes that considered both of us to be oddballs. They were all city boys and loved to make fun of both our accents. We were stopped at a red light and I was watching a squirrel that was walking a powerline. City squirrels always caught my attention because they were so damn smart and I honestly never expected to see them in the middle of this large city but they were everywhere.

Ong spoke to me for the first time;
Ong: You eat?
Me: Squirrel?
Ong: Yes, you eat?
Me: Yes, it's good

He just smiled, and from then on we were the best of friends.
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You and I have a lot in common my friend. I have also made steadfast friends from diverse cultures the same way. It's being honest and having an open heart that facilitates this regardless of culture or language. One's eyes smile wider than one's mouth.
 
ShroomySatori said:
Just one question did you guys get insomnia bad like this when you quit? I only am getting it now, past 3 weeks. I am sleeping around 2 hours a day and it is driving me crazy a little... it's just exhausting, really but at least I have a night-time job to keep me busy or I'd just be laying awake at night in a state of limbo. That is kind of how today has been for me so far, I want to sleep so bad but I can't.
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I have bad insomnia anyway but yea withdrawal always made it worse. I spent a few days just laying awake during most of my withdrawals. It gets better after about two weeks. Try not to resort to benzo drugs during that time because it'll just be worse once you cease taking them. I would take melatonin and valerian root to get through that period and while it didn't always provide me with a full nights sleep it did help to catch a few hours here and there. My dose was usually 1200mg of 4:1 valerain root extract + 300mg of raw root + 5mg of melatonin an hour before bed. It doesn't seem to work for everyone but it would for me as long as I didn't take it all of the time. If I did take a benzo I'd cut the dose (say 1/2mg of ativan) with the above. I really advise staying away from benzos though because it's easy to trade the opioid habit for them especially if you're like me and take benzos in combination with opioids.

Also if you can find it GABA is a great OTC sleep aide. Unfortunately most places don't stock it by itself and you have to request it and wait a few days for it to come in. There are some combination products that include it but they are expensive. $20-$30 for a week or two supply, well worth it when you're withdrawing and need it the same day but I wouldn't pay that much for it otherwise.
 
I really need to restock valerian. I also have a lot of essential oils that can help that ... lavender, roman chamomile, maybe jasmine, and rose. Inhaling lavender is enough to help me pass out sometimes... at least for an hour. Today I had 3 one-hour naps through the morning and afternoon. I took some melatonin too... am already on benzos for years due to chronic panic attacks; I am just not increasing my dose to get through withdrawal and maybe dealing with that slowly down the road.

Never tried GABA before, I def will. Also, there is 5-htp or l-tryptophan but they, for some reason, give me extreme anxiety. I really like chamomile tea. Once I get paid I'm going to switch from weed to shatter / live resin and 99.9% thc-a concentrate too so I can coat my dabs with that. Should help me pass out for sure.

It's weird I don't get withdrawal insomnia until I have post-acute withdrawals... like 2 or 3 weeks after I quit. My friend said it was the last thing to go away for him and took 6 months or so... was hooked on smoking fent.
 
Fuck, my friend who's all strung out on meth is posting all crazy on Facebook again. I talked to him like a week ago and he was telling me about how someone is building tunnels under his apartment to spy on him Truman Show-style, and rob him, and sent me a bunch of pictures that didn't show anything of the sort to try to prove it to me. I told him again that he needs help. He slept a couple of days and chilled out. I haven't been on Facebook in a bit but I went on today and saw he was making lots of public posts about his brother stealing his identity and posting peoples' names, a bunch of all-caps posts about why doesn't anyone care and "someone arrest his brother". And then he made a post that said if no one replies in 10 minutes he's shooting himself in the head. And that's the last post. Though I doubt he did it because he didn't even reach out to me or any of our original group of friends personally, despite us all being in communication with him about this. We have a facebook group chat excluding him, to talk about this situation. We decided we're all going to try to call his parents and let them know the extent of what's going on and tell them they need to intervene here because it's well beyond out of hand for him (and his brother who I suspect is probably really fucking my friend over to some extent because he's always been a somewhat sociopathic asshole even before drugs).

Fucking shit man. They're not home, hope they get the messages and that they're not actually being as callous as he claims they are when I talk to him.
 
Xorkoth said:
Fuck, my friend who's all strung out on meth is posting all crazy on Facebook again. I talked to him like a week ago and he was telling me about how someone is building tunnels under his apartment to spy on him Truman Show-style, and rob him, and sent me a bunch of pictures that didn't show anything of the sort to try to prove it to me. I told him again that he needs help. He slept a couple of days and chilled out. I haven't been on Facebook in a bit but I went on today and saw he was making lots of public posts about his brother stealing his identity and posting peoples' names, a bunch of all-caps posts about why doesn't anyone care and "someone arrest his brother". And then he made a post that said if no one replies in 10 minutes he's shooting himself in the head. And that's the last post. Though I doubt he did it because he didn't even reach out to me or any of our original group of friends personally, despite us all being in communication with him about this. We have a facebook group chat excluding him, to talk about this situation. We decided we're all going to try to call his parents and let them know the extent of what's going on and tell them they need to intervene here because it's well beyond out of hand for him (and his brother who I suspect is probably really fucking my friend over to some extent because he's always been a somewhat sociopathic asshole even before drugs).

Fucking shit man. They're not home, hope they get the messages and that they're not actually being as callous as he claims they are when I talk to him.
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Hopefully all is well brother
 
Well we got ahold of his parents, a mutual friend did (one of the group chat people, basically our old grade school/middle school group, we're all still friends). Apparently his parents went to visit and see what was going on last weekend (my friend says his parents won't even answer his calls). They said he was holding a 12 inch kitchen knife while they were there and talking about how the track lighting is spy holes, and he found a tiny hole in the floor so he ripped up his entire carpet and started pulling up floorboards (nothing was there of course). They slept in a different room and locked the door because they didn't feel safe and he stayed up all night. They said that they tried to get ahold of people there but the social workers are all overwhelmed and the homeless shelters have no more food and have people overflowing them, and the police never answer when they call (they didn't want to call 911, just get him some help, but my friend did call 911 a bit ago and gave him the address, since he made a suicide threat like 9 hours ago while everyone was sleeping).

Fucking fuck. He's still at the point of telling people he's sober and doesn't have a problem. He needs rehab bad. Also he needs to get the fuck out of Kansas City because apparently that place is crazy. My friend who called 911 to have them check on him said he was gonna call them again to check in and see what they found, in like a half hour. I'm so nervous...
 
He just sent me Facebook messages, my phone told me, so he's alive, thank god. I am waiting for my mom to call me though so I'm not gonna check them til later.
 
So I started learning Mandarin today through a hippie-type of Chinese colleague I have been communicating with and we have become friends.

He taught me a lot of deep stuff about the language. I could relate it far better to quantum mechanics than the alphabet, so I explained to him the Schrodinger Equation and how all the symbols have a meaning to them. He understood I'm like dude very few people here would understand what I just described to you.

I was asking him a lot of deep questions, and learned how to write Panda (it is the consecutive symbols for cat-bear).

Some of the symbols look so similar but have completely different meanings, and some of them look completely different but sound the same.

It is combining my creative drive, freedom of expression, and even my study of theoretical physics is really helping me because I had to write and manipulate so many symbolic expressions. I am loving it... I can't paint, or sketch at all, so this is going to be my creative outlet in the form of artwork.

I was just practicing writing all the symbols he showed me in my journal. It is such a beautiful language, and the only one I could ever really be interested enough to learn. Also, through my work I get to learn spoken vocabulary from the asians as it helps me with my work.

I'm trying to get a fellow colleague who I talk to a lot about weed and stuff, I even mentioned I am a recovering addict and she didn't judge me for it (the first chick ever to not judge me for that). I didn't even mean to say it, I was just high and we are friends through this app we use for work. She sent me the most unbelievable sketches I have seriously ever scene, she is a true artist, so I brought up my tattoo idea (it involves our work, chinese symbols, and also a symbolic expression for getting clean) and asked if she'd be willing to sketch it for me in her own crazy creative way (it involves the molecular structure of 2c-c as well, and some buddhist concepts but I seriously trust her so much that I'd just get tattoed whatever she created)... she hasn't gotten back to me yet about that but I think it would be the most phenomenal, amazing, beautiful thing to experience ever. Never had a friend work on a sketch like that, which I would totally just tattoo as her stuff is absolutely beautiful art. I know she'd come up with something realy amazing and creative too and she was thinking of being a tattoo artist so I really hope she is interested in this idea of mine.

Lovely, wonderful day today and I discovered yet another new passion... I am seriously learning Mandarin haha. The chinese word for Canada combines symbols for "add", "grab", and "big"... lol, I think their language is centred around world domination. Now I'm just getting paranoid... are they coming for me? Better lock my doors at night that's for sure.I'm practicing the symbols and they are so intricate and beautiful, and he asked me to explain the difference between "intricate" and "complex or complicated" and he was like dude, such a cool way of putting it (we usually talk in hippie lingo) so we are helping each other out, it's really neat.


.... fuck man, I hope your strung out friend gets well as it could continue to happen, the psychosis. I had my friend who shoots meth recently tell me he had to quit as it was making him crazy. I was waiting for him to say something along those lines.
 
I feel sooooo much better this morning. All night I sat up dreading going into that shit job and about an hour ago I decided: you know what? Fuck slavery. Not going back and mean it this time.

This next week brings lots of excitement for me, I only have about $400 and $200 is going to rent for my new home. I'm moving in with my best friend in an iconic building in my small town. It over looks the old main street where in my parents day everyone rode around on the weekends and partied. It was the social center for everyone back then. Right under my window is a sign with the name of the street on it, it's freakin' huge and the landlord was going to tear it down. I talked him out of it and instead he's going to let me put up anything I want as long as it isn't offensive. We settled on a Dead skull since he likes the Dead as much as I do. :D

My buddy is fine with me ditching this job until I find something else...4th or 5th one I've had this year. I got money coming next month and once taxes come in I'll have plenty because I did work my ass off this year and I'm claiming every-fucking-thing (work uniforms, gas, classes, licenses, I spent almost as much on getting jobs as I made at them). I'm going to pick up a work from home gig doing transcription and turn my typing skills into some easy money while I work on going back to school. Decided I'm going to go back for a degree in chemistry and probably get my PhD. If my time table is right I'll have that by 40 which should be around the time I move back to the farm...where I plan on setting up a nice place to do some research and produce some goodies for my extended family. ;) Until then I'll be training up folks every weekend in town. We're re-opening the "dojo" and I already got some young guys that should be able to put up enough of a fight to enter fighting game tournaments soon. Looking forward to having regular Saturday night marathons of Street Fighter and whatever else we want to play again. Oh and another friend is opening an arcade which I'm going to help run. Last but not least I'm joining an old school organization that does a lot of work for our local community. I went to the last meeting and got all my stuff lined up to join so I'll be a full member come the next meeting.

Busy busy busy, just don't have time for a 7 day work week where they make me strip 8 times a day anymore. I was going to stick it out another week for the pay but fuck 'em. I'm selling some stuff anyway that I don't use that's worth a bit of money and I have people lined up for it. All I gotta do is say the word and they'll come running for a piece of my collection of junk. I'm happy to give them part of it so I don't have to move it.

Think I'll eat some L and hack my PS3 this morning since a new exploit came out and I have a 1.5TB HDD just waiting to be filled up with games. Going to be a fun day. Still not 100% over the flu but feeling well enough that I don't think it'll be an issue. Right now the only problem I got is a bad ball joint on my car but I'm going to fix that tomorrow. Time to finally enjoy a day for the first time in three weeks. :D
 
Well, just stopping in to say that my boss is coming over later today. I was already tripping, and tried to sober myself up a little by drinking a nice cold glass of water... forgetting that I laced it with 2CC earlier on. I've been cleaning up ever since (cleaning while tripping is so damn awesome!!!) and this place, I didn't realize, looks like an acid freak cults paradise. My "cleaning" has consisted of scrambling to hide my dab (well, DMT) rig, all its little parts like the torch and carb cap; a 500g herb scale that was just laying under the table, parts of my mg scale, fucking ash and roaches and weed crumbs all over every horizontal surface, dmt just laying around hanging out... and then old empty pill bottles for opiates and shit, a pill crusher that I used to use for dilaudid and oxy's and shit, empty glass vials, a fuckign shrine I made with two candles and a broken, century old antique clock I am fixing up (that alone gives everything away, along with my Harry Potter potions corner with my Hogwarts hat (what us acid freaks refer to essential oils as)... fucking acid freak, man... hippie fucking FUCK. LOL.

I am in absolute hysterics about this... I have been tripping so much and so stoned I didn't even realize if someone came over here they would be like WTF and it's my boss... now how the fuck am I gonna smoke weed til he gets here? Go outside or some bullshit? I can't be leaving my little acid freak den right now!=D
 
Haha, hilarious. =D If my boss came over I'd have to do a little hiding myself... my boss never will come over, so I don't worry about it. More recently I do try to keep my house a little more under the radar. But I'd still have to hide smoking stuff, and if a work colleague or something was coming over I'd have to hide some psychedelic books/etc.
 
That is a crazy tune man. Going to listen to the whole 11 min once my boss gets here and leaves Acidland. Dude there is so much shit everywhere, I am going to miss one tiny little thing I just know it fuck.

Dude it is way too funny. I have a fucking shrine with ornamental candles and a century year old broken clock I am fixing up. That just gives it away right there, then the Harry Potter essential oils section. Psychedelic drug and weed paraphernalia fucking everywhere. I'm in hysterics, I was telling the stoner chick I work with about it who is doing my next tattoo for me (super excited about that). Dude... my boss is officially entering acid freak territory and this time, I am totally unprepared for it.

Tried to sober up fuck and forget I laced the water with a lot of 2cc. I learned "yin yoga" today in Mandarin symbols, man just super cool. I was going to practice all day until I realized that I needed to make myself appear presentable. It probably reeks of fucking pot in here, I better go shower, and wash my dirty hippie feet as well. Oh, some strong essential oils will totally mask the smell of the herb I bet! Fuck... I better just totally engage him in conversation the whole time or something like that so he doesn't look around and think "fucking hippie fuck I hired".

I'm in the clear!!! He fucking dropped it off in the mailbox... LOL. At least my place is somewhat clean now, I think only a trained acid freak would be able to tell. And now I can get blazing again, take all my herb stuff out that I stashed in the backpacks for away haha. I am seriously in absolutely hysterics... the moon is so beautiful outside today, we got a nice half-moon going on. Blew my mind with the airplanes flying around and the snow and all... felt like I was on Mars on somethin.
 
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Man, cars are a real pain in the ass. I just dropped 600 bucks on new tires and an alignment for the Miata, and now my girl's car needs to be taken in for repairs too. And I'm going out of town this weekend. I think after all is said and done I'll have spent $1200 this week... That's almost as much as I make in a month.

I'm gunning for a full-time opening in a non-labor intensive department at work, it would be both a pay and benefit raise, I'd get sick/vacation days finally and have access to better insurance. I'm certain I'm qualified for the job, but my place of employment likes to play politics, and I don't... so, we'll see I guess :\

I think my chances are good for getting this position, I just... the waiting is the hardest part, you know?
 
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^Good luck to you. That sounds like a frustrating situation and yeah... cars not my fave thing. Enslavement not my fave thing either. Everything seems beautiful when I'm tripping like airplanes are totally rad... but cars. F that shit. Friend got hit by one recently and is in physio just totally fucked up even asked me for oxy's after supporting me getting clean... cars fuck people up, not just financially. Don't think they are too healthy for the global ecosystem either.

Well since I was already tripping I decided to redose after I realized my boss wasn't coming indoors. Man I have a crush on this beautiful artistic chick so bad, she's like the only girl I know who I can just be myself around and she thinks it is silly and smoked weed and blows my mind with lovely sketches. We are just friends I think she has a bf but I don't really care about that so much as having a lovely cute and supportive friend in my life. She is the one (the only one capable) of making my tattoo idea happen and whatever she does I'm getting it, I am so excited for that! I have a crush on the forest spirit painting chick who I see as a manifestation of Venus and keeps appearing to me in her own way, a little more dark and gothic, that is meant to attract and entice me as much as possible as I feel she knows everything about me, this entity I have seen in physical form 4 times.

I think today has been so amazing because of yoga. I need to start putting an hour of practice in a day again. I held two 10 minute downward dogs today, and did several 5min yin yoga asanas. I really feel amazing, I've been in hysterics all day. I am getting back into shape after that bad habit of mine. Anyways, sitting down to a pasta with strange green spiral noodles, eggplant, zucchini, yellow pepper, some hot peppers from my garden too, a lot of yummy well sourced cheddar and black pepper. Probably some stuff my fried brain can't recall at the moment. Totally scrumptious though.
 
After years of dreaming I finally got an Oculus Rift + Touch when they dropped the price for the holiday, but unfortunately I cant do anything with it until I upgrade my graphics card. Slightly maddening. Christmas can't come fast enough!!!
So many things I want to do with it (besides some games of course), including developing my own experiences like interactive 'music videos' in 3D spaces and spatialized sound (different parts of song coming from different virtual speakers, and ways to modify each of those sounds). Anyway that's like 1-2 years ahead. More immediately I am excited to test my theory that dissociatives + VR can greatly enhance the sense of immersion and presence while also greatly reducing VR 'sim-sickness' effects that a lot of people experience when there is movement in VR while the body doesn't actually move. I'm sure other psychedelics would be great enhancers too, and offers the chamce to really control the setting of one's trip.
 
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