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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: now with ∞% more fractals!

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LoL, I guess I'm still a bit spun, eh? Judging by the length of the above post, and the fact that I pumped it out in the time it normally takes me to come up with a 5 or 6 sentence post.

Oh, and llama, I'll totally send you my aim, but I'm gonna watch a movie tonight and not be on, and i'm not on my computer at the moment. But definitely sometime soon we can attempt to chat or something. (and if you tl;dr'd my previous post, the second to last paragraph was directed at you). Not that you should really care, but I do.

I think I am also going to start trying to fulfill my ambition of finding an unshceduled GABAergic with the recreational potential of old school barbs once I get employment. I have a few candidates lined up though they come with possibly deal breaking side effects. But they should be safer than the quinazolinones at least, since the RC market's foray into those (alas, I didn't get any since I figured they'd be around later, but they weren't. Though it's probably for the best since I would have probably killled myself on accident with MMQ) didn't go very well to say the least.
 
^ yeah, I saw your post and was like "hmmm, i bet he's still feeling the meth" :).

Be careful with the GABAergics. They have their own can of worms, including addiction
 
Yeah I know, even though I was able to avoid physical addiction, my 4 months of daily GBL use really messed me up, and by far had the most powerful psychological hold on me of any drug. I think it was also the source of the derealization I was experiencing at the time, which was one of the things that led me to opiate addiction. The silly thing was I was mainly using it to prevent my daily walks from becoming boring, as well as give me two hours of anxiety relief (of course, potent, short acting relief is the most reinforcing. I'll never touch the stuff again, though more because I think it ruined my stomach in addition to my emotional state. I was in denial about the psychological problems the whole time I was taking it as well...Messing with your GABA is dangerous, and messing with physically dangerous GABAergics is even more dangerous. But still, it's a class of drugs I love, and I want people to have the option to get decent downer euphoria without turning to opiates (whose ability to leave one sated makes them much more addictive than the GABA drugs for most) or pickling their liver on high doses of ethanol that aren't even worth the euphoria.

Also, this quasi-headache I have, I've had it before, caused by my PCC contaminated 4-meo-pcp...the feeling of neurotoxicity?
 
Yeah, I'm attacted to GABA agonists. One of the reasons i stay away from benzos is I know I'll love them and abuse the shit out of them (opiates too, which is why I stay away from them). I like booze. I drink alcohol everyday, and the days when i have less than three drinks are less common than those with more drinks. Its definitely tied in with boredom, depression (I self-medicate with 5-Htp), and anxiety. I take milk thistle too, with the hopes that it will protect my liver somewhat from the alcohol and also all the nasty chemicals that I breathe in every day at work.

I was thinking of trying to add some supplement that might help me reduce my drinking. Its why i want to get back on piracetam, it seemed to help me feel better and drink less.

I was also curious about Phenibut (i liked the fact it seems to have a high ld50), but then i heard storied of addiction and withdrawls from that.

Thing is, I don't want to stop drinking completely. I like good beer and wine. I like visiting breweries and wineries and learning about what grapes or malts/hops/yeasts lead to what flavor. I really enjoy having a nice beer or a good wine. Hell, I'm drinking right now (1 sizable glass of wine, its my only drink today). By the way, don't try drinking wine out of a pop can (I was inspired by a "Its always sunny in philedelphia episode", the one with Frank's intervention), its hard to tell how much you are drinking, and gets out of hand fast.

Still, I need a way to relax and calm down after work without drinking continuously. I use my mind all day and when I come home, its racing, and often I can't go to sleep because I have a billion ideas running through my head. Sometimes one drink just won't do it.

Gotta just get more self control I guess.
 
^ Re: clearing your mind naturally. It takes dedication, and practice. We're so accustomed to chemicals delivering the effects we desire with a single hit of this, or a shot of that...

You just need to spend a good half an hour every night, sitting in lotus, with the intention to clear your thoughts. Beyond that, nobody can tell you the "secret" -- it's beyond words, and can only be achieved by your own trials, experience, observation, and introspection.



That said, I must agree with you. I have horrible self control. FML. Not with respect to drugs, thank god -- I'm remarkably restrained with that stuff.





What's the value in having values, anyway?
 
Never Knows Best said:
I think these recent turns of events will be really good for me, I'm having heart-to-heart conversations with family for the first time, and they've agreed to help me handle my problems and not just provide food/shelter.
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I'm glad to hear it man; things appeared to be a bit dark for you over the last couple of months- its nice to read about your happiness :) <3

Never Knows Best said:
I think I am also going to start trying to fulfill my ambition of finding an unshceduled GABAergic with the recreational potential of old school barbs once I get employment. I have a few candidates lined up though they come with possibly deal breaking side effects. But they should be safer than the quinazolinones at least, since the RC market's foray into those (alas, I didn't get any since I figured they'd be around later, but they weren't. Though it's probably for the best since I would have probably killled myself on accident with MMQ) didn't go very well to say the least.
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Methaqualone is quite enjoyable; kind of spastic drunk feeling, intense relaxation, almost MDMA like euphoria and extreme horniness :D I never noticed much difference between methaqualone and etaqualon myself, but friends of mine enjoyed the latter more.

I've a sscript of injectable phenobarbital to interrupt seizure activity; I've been tempted to take a higher dose then required, just for fun (around 200mg perhaps) but I would hate to build a tolerance towards it- it could endup really dangerous. My uncle thinks I should try oxcarbazepine, but I don't agree thats its more effective then phenobarb in stopping seizure activity..

***********

Ha, wikipedia is odd; this in the methaqualone article:

"The drug was often used by people who went dancing at glam rock clubs in the early 1970s and at discos in the late 1970s; however, it was no easy task to learn how to dance on Quaaludes and balance oneself properly while wearing platform shoes".

Oooooooooookay then =D
 
Had a bit off a run with phenobarbital last year, it was pretty fun stuff.
I was real careful with it though like your being Willow, to avoid overdose and addiction.

Wouldn't wanna find out what those withdrawl's are like at all.
 
willow11 said:
"The drug was often used by people who went dancing at glam rock clubs in the early 1970s and at discos in the late 1970s; however, it was no easy task to learn how to dance on Quaaludes and balance oneself properly while wearing platform shoes".
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LOL. Someone decided to lighten up Wikipedia's generally clinical and humorless text! :D


I woke up laughing my head off this morning, at an apparently "funny wise-crack" a dream character made. But I'm rather surprised that I was in such good spirits, considering the dream was centered around the desperate attempt to destroy all evidence for a murder I'd committed. 8o
 
willow11 said:
I agree by and large, but I think there is a big difference between a heroin ADDICT and a heroin junky. [..]
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Oh definitely, I was actually going to amend that post to address this very fact but I've been so busy I wasn't able to. If someone has access to a consistent supply of opiate, the problematic effects on the personality are drastically reduced. Its not actually the drug that causes someone to become a "junkie", its the desperation and uncertainty. I 100% agree that there is a huge difference between an addict and a junkie, and I think it all boils down to the effect you have on the people around you.

But anyways, enough of this opiate-related ranting :D It's sunny today and the trees all look so greeeeeeen!!! The earth is a pretty amazing place!
 
It sure is, this warm weather makes me smile a whole lot more.

And getting the planting started is something I always look forward too.

Nothing quite like nurturing things and creating new life. :)
 
It sure is, I've always felt at peace in the garden.

Just made a cup this Wild Berry tea I found stashed away, smells great.

I find drinking hot beverages to be very relaxing, the perfect way to unwind.
 
So are any of you cats gunna hit up some festivals this summer? I've been considering hitting up all-good, maybe even renting an RV for the trip. :) I briefly entertained the idea of the "electric forest festival" at Rothbury, but without any dead-related performances it seems pretty disappointing-- especially compared to the epic nature of Roth '09.

It looks like its gunna be a fun summer though, for sure. :D
 
Roger&Me said:
Oh definitely, I was actually going to amend that post to address this very fact but I've been so busy I wasn't able to. If someone has access to a consistent supply of opiate, the problematic effects on the personality are drastically reduced. Its not actually the drug that causes someone to become a "junkie", its the desperation and uncertainty. I 100% agree that there is a huge difference between an addict and a junkie, and I think it all boils down to the effect you have on the people around you.

But anyways, enough of this opiate-related ranting :D It's sunny today and the trees all look so greeeeeeen!!! The earth is a pretty amazing place!
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While i agree with this mostly I also don't. I had a friend who had basically unlimited supply of yellow norcos and always by day 4 he would start becoming psychotic and thinking people were against him or plotting against him. He prolly has some mental issues for sure though.
 
Finally found the root of my odd physical symptoms lately, 'cause I freaked out at their intensity today (mainly the insatiable thirst, I drank like 10 glasses of water in four hours). It seems I'm dangerously potassium deficient. I'm still gonna go to the doc's on Monday and see if we can't find out why I am.
 
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