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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Loquacious Psychedelic Love Lazers

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yeah the only thing that bothers me is im pretty sure i turned it in, i remember being with a friend cause i was gonna drive him home and i said i gotta go put a library book down the drop chute or something, then i drove him home. it was weeks ago, i dont remember, nor do i care.
i'm just angry at how she acted towards me, i mean i dont HAVE to go to detention period if i dont want to, even the school office understands that. if i want to make that decision i can, her acting like i punched a baby and robbed a church because i wasn't going to sit around after school for something that arguably isnt wrongdoing is beyond me. No one at school likes her, she's weird.
here i am, up late, sober this time though :D (i slept from about 5 to 11) and honestly, its almost as fun as it is on amps, maybe a bit more fun. i think the ritual aspect of doing amps an all that is why it had a pull on me (yeah, i know..quitting again..guess what i did last night.. 8( )
i'm feelin fine right here, chillin, sober with some fat beats on, ate me some foods, had me something to drank (nonalcoholic of course, i dont drink period pretty much..).
 
Though it was a difficult task, I have successfully managed to rationalize a third consecutive night of opiate use (major deja vu...I feel like I was saying something like this just 2 months ago). That nodding out state was quite interesting and I am eager to reachieve it. Perhaps it will be more properly enjoyable tonight. I feel like making an analogy to the tale of Icarus, but I'll wait till my mu receptors are properly inundated.

Also, y'all have permission to slap me through the computer screen for ignoring my own better judgment and giving into foppery and whim (though I suppose it's neither the first nor last time such a thing will happen).
 
i can honestly say opiates are something i would rather be sober than on
benzos are also that, most of the time
if you think i get bad about not being mellow on amps or while sober, opiates was terrible.
even I KNEW that i was being ridiculous and i like couldnt do anything abotu it, i was just angry at everyone and everything for no good reason. even amps dont do that to me..they amplify anger and shit but i wont hate on people for doing nothing wrong.
if i was in pain, then id want opiates, otherwise they have no place in my life.
 
Never Knows Best said:
Though it was a difficult task, I have successfully managed to rationalize a third consecutive night of opiate use (major deja vu...I feel like I was saying something like this just 2 months ago). That nodding out state was quite interesting and I am eager to reachieve it. Perhaps it will be more properly enjoyable tonight. I feel like making an analogy to the tale of Icarus, but I'll wait till my mu receptors are properly inundated.

Also, y'all have permission to slap me through the computer screen for ignoring my own better judgment and giving into foppery and whim (though I suppose it's neither the first nor last time such a thing will happen).
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hey man, shit happens. i was addicted to heroin for three years and finally got sober with the help of subs nearly 2 years ago. then 3 months ago someone gave me a handfull of subs and i started taking small doses everyday for a month. even though it was a tiny amount i had pretty bad withdrawals, but am sooooo happy to be done with them (again:\). personally a small dose of subs or methadone are the best antidepressant i have ever taken. i dont even really care about getting super high on them, but they totally stabalize my mood. but fuck that, they also end up taking away my creativity, sex drive, etc.

i dont know about your previous history, but for those of us inclined to opiates it can be an extremely seductive experience that can draw you in faster than you realize. be careful, but dont be hateful on yourself for your mistakes
 
^thats how amps were for me
seductive and all that..it all happened so quick..
right now im feelin good, doing the same shit i'd be doing spun, so most of the positives of being on amphetamine with none of the negatives.
good enough for me, ive had a good ass night..no cottonmouth, scatterbrain, racing heart, paranoia or any of that and my mood right now is pretty good.
i are quitting again..except i am not gonna taek the RX dose for a while which is how i did it the last time i quit, where i completely stopped amps/stims for something like 2 months. i have to increase the pill count, because there should be far more than there are, so i pretend to take em and put em back ni the bottle later. tis a good plan, i am gonna have to conceed and take the RX dose on saturday for the SATs but otherwise, thats what i am gonna do probably till 2011. its real noice being sober but not feeling like shit, and doing the same shit i'd do when id do amps, except know that i'm not gonna feel like complete shit all the next day.
and its kinda nice that i feel good but not from the droogery.
 
(@LMA) Heh, well no one's going to be bothering me in the middle of the night to harsh my mellow, or for me to be angry at so no worries there~

I'm hoping I don't end up vomiting, but we'll see how that works out (I'm on 15mg hydrocodone, plus some o-desmethyltramadol, which I will supplement with as needed to get where I want. Would be on more hydro but they're the 5/500s and APAP is evil).

Daysonatrain, I don't have too much opiate experience, but I almost ended up in trouble back in October, which is when I got my o-desmethyltramadol. Before then I'd only get a few hydro pills or whatever when I felt like using, but suddenly having a continuous supply in the stash led to more frequent use. I had slipped into 24/7 use within 10 days (my emotional state was crap and chronic anxiety was wearing me down pretty quick at the time), figured getting addicted would be bad so I stopped use completely for 6 weeks or so. Recently decided to throw opiates back into the drug-usage itinerary to combat holiday blues / seasonal depression. I'm going to try to keep my usage from getting too unhealthy, but I'm still rather disappointed in myself for using 3 nights in a row right off the bat like that.
 
no never thats the whole thing that REALLY bothered me, no one was harshing me or anyhting like that at all, i would just get angry at things for no reason. amps dont even make me angry for no reason..theyll make me moar angry than normal at things that make me angry, but opaites half the time i was just sitting there angry at the world, regretting taking them and regretting wasting money on opiates.
feelsgoodman, not doing amps but doing the same shit, so ill have a normal day tomorrow (might be a bit tired, but thats OK) and not a day where i come in sketchy and jumpy and all that. its nice man, its real fucking nice actually. some of the shit that even would happen to me while spun, like wanting to get up for a cig but being almost drawn to just chillin (yeah..chillni on amps, oxymoron i know but..) is noice.
 
daysonatrain said:
you crazy time traveling australiens!

wish i had a bit of ket at the moment, or really anything for that matter, havnt done any drugs aside from alcohol and a bit of weed (which i dont even really like anymore) in what seems like forever. some good acid, mesc or dmt would really be great right now... but then again i am so far behind in school work i cant really afford to do anything till the end of the semester :p
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Yeah, I've been really laying off drugs, besides medications. No weed, psychedelics or stimulants for around 3 months. Feels good eh? :)

hows the ketamine evening/day/night/morning/tomorrow going?
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Most excellent, thankyou :) I've been enjoying taking small bumps of K lately; just 50mg's every hour or so (not daily of course!)...Just got some Courvoisier; tis expensive, but well worth it...<3

Neverknowsbest, don't live up to your username!! I had dabbled with opiates for a long long time since I was about 16 (close to 10 years) when last year I got completely and utterly addicted to heroin, morphine, opium and codeine (either/or). Its a fucking nightmare in many ways; getting to a point where you simply do not want drugs, but actually NEED them. Buprenorphine treatment works, but its not a comfortable life to lead.

Then again, I was hanging out with the youger brother of a mate; he is hideously addicted, but had some words of wisdom; "you never want to get too comfortable on this stuff"...

Heroin is just so fucking addictive; its amazing how quickly a few days in a row leads to a life-long nightmare. Just be careful; be aware that w/d is unavoidable if you keep using, even for a few more days; once you're there, you are not going to escape easily.

What opiates are you using? None of them has the pull of heroin or morphine to me, mainly because of the IV factor...But, if I had gotten my hands on lots of oxy, I'd a been in heavenly hell....:(

About to smoke some freshly extratced DMT with me Miss Willow; we've been quite distant recently, as I'm working every day; odd, seeing as we live together, but tonight I want us to make passionate love under elvish eyes. :) <3
 
^willow, was it just heroin or do you like opiates period
i HATE methylphenidate, only other stim ive tried but i loooved amphetamine
the opiate experience i speak of was from oxycodone.
amps, one night of being bored started the whole cycle..
breaking that nao though, its nice.
well, i am gonna go out to smoke, then go to my bed, might catch an hour or two of sleep, who knows, i'm fine if i dont anyway.
mellow/happy now..
 
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willow11 said:
about to smoke some freshly extratced dmt with me miss willow; we've been quite distant recently, as i'm working every day; odd, seeing as we live together, but tonight i want us to make passionate love under elvish eyes. :) <3
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:D awesome, two of the best things a human can do imo
 
willow11 said:
Then again, I was hanging out with the youger brother of a mate; he is hideously addicted, but had some words of wisdom; "you never want to get too comfortable on this stuff"...

Heroin is just so fucking addictive; its amazing how quickly a few days in a row leads to a life-long nightmare. Just be careful; be aware that w/d is unavoidable if you keep using, even for a few more days; once you're there, you are not going to escape easily.

What opiates are you using? None of them has the pull of heroin or morphine to me, mainly because of the IV factor...But, if I had gotten my hands on lots of oxy, I'd a been in heavenly hell....:(
<3
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I only use hydrocodone and o-desmethyltramadol as of now (have tried regular tramadol in the past, but meh). I may have a connect for oxy/fent though. The latter particularly interests me.

Thank you for the concern, I really do appreciate people trying to give helpful advice, I think it makes it easier for me to make good decisions that way.


The good news is, I may get to try ketamine within 2 months~<3
 
LSDMDMA&9058539 said:
^willow, was it just heroin or do you like opiates period
..
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Well, I like opiate in general, but heroin is the one that totally screwed me. Actually, I screwed me. But yeah; nothing has made me feel as needy as smack, ever...

Feeling chilled out; mildly drunk, glowing from sex and DMT, and about to go for a big old K dose...
 
hey willow, I'm really happy that you are Miss Willow are reconnecting. That makes me happy. Its been in the back of my mind for awhile now about you two. Blessings <3


Other news, I weigh more than I ever have weighed in my life. I'm 5'6" and 163 pounds as of yesterday. With visible lower abs. Crrrrrazy. Three years ago I was 119 pounds. Wild what a lot of determination and a ton of food can do to a person.
 
Never Knows Best said:
I may have a connect for oxy/fent though. The latter particularly interests me.
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Meh, fent is pretty cold & uninteresting honestly. It used to make me nod off in the middle of sentences and stuff, but no real "euphoria" to speak of. It also killed one of my friends. :| I think it should only be used by people with serious tolerances, its really no joke. Honestly, if you're gunna do opiates (which I don't recommend) fent is a bad choice-- oxy would be better and safer. Take care & be safe! <3
 
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