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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Distancing Talk Thread: Swirly Congregation That's 100% Pandemic-Proof

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Dogs i have that drug test this week. Ill prob put it off till sat cause i told em im probably goin to pittsburgh for a few days hahahaaha
You gotta be smart about it all you gotta do is be like do they have whateevr place in western PA so i can do it there and theyre like probably not you can do it when you get back.
I switch between connecticut and pittsburgh wjen i have to get a few days out on a drug test. Idk why more people dont use excuses like that cause it works. Has for me on more than 1 occasion.
 
And now today I'm pretty sure she's breaking up with me.

Maybe I should be happy but I'm really fucking sad. She's been my inspiration for two and a half years now.
 
Im setting a goal man i need to hit london within a year. I am gonna save up money and hopefully ill be able to swing it if i save for a while. I wanna go for a few days like 5 as long as i can on probation and go when theres shows going on to hit and try to find an english cru to kick it with at the clubs before i land via FB.
Im gonna make it happen man im 25 now and i have to cause im getting old..
 
How you doing pharmakos?

I got the appraisal back on my house. Says it's STILL worth less than I bought it for, although I will probably meet the numbers I need. However they said they have to come back, after I fix the steps up the side of my house and a few deck railings. They also "recommended" I install a bathroom vent fan. I'm like, uh, this is strange. I'm planning to fix all of those things with the money I'm borrowing. Why do the steps need to not wobble before the refinance goes through? What happens if I don't install a bathroom vent fan? I would have to cut a hole in the wall to do it. But the thing that really stresses me out is that they want to see the upper roof, which I have covered in a plastic tarp because the skylight leaks. I'm worried it's going to drop the value of my house enough that I won't be able to get the extra money, which I need to fix the roof. And when I fix the roof, which I am doing as soon as I get the money from the refinance, the value will be higher. It's a weird catch-22. Oh, and for the past 3 days, I've noticed water on the floor in my upstairs bathroom (tile floor). I keep cleaning it up up and then next time I look it's back. So I've got ANOTHER god damn leak. Sometimes owning a house sucks... there's no landlord to tell to fix stuff. :\

On top of that, I was going to wait until my ex-wife signed off the house deed before filing for divorce, but now it's all getting pushed back. So instead I think I'm going to contact a lawyer and be all ready to file for a contested divorce if need be, and then reach out to her and ask if she feels the same way (not wanting anything from me, filing for no-fault divorce) and send her the property settlement document to sign if she's willing, and then file a no-fault (hopefully that's the way it goes). But in exactly a month from today, she COULD file in Illinois and it would be 10+ years on that date since we got married and she'd automatically get half my stuff and I'd have to sell my house and split the profits.

I swear the universe is testing me to see how much stress I can handle, these past couple of years... every time I get a handle on it, something else comes up.
 
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oh, now she's back to beating herself up and being profusely sorry for everything.

she's been alternating between being incredibly hard on herself and being incredibly hard on me. it's fucking exhausting.

i try to tell her things aren't that black and white, and i definitely share some of the blame, but she seems only capable of all or nothing when she's upset.
 
Man, my ex is so strange... she has to sign some paperwork to take her name off the house deed, in order for me to get this mortgage refinance done. The mortgage company sent her the paperwork today, and she called me. She was super stressed to the point where she was taking deep breaths and holding back tears. She said "first of all my intentions haven't changed, I don't want your house and I want to get this paperwork done". Then she said that it was "way too much" for her to think about trying to deal with the paperwork. I said it was just 3 documents to sign in front of a notary public, but she was like, no, I'm sorry but my head is spinning and I can't deal with this, it's too much to think about. What I hope you'd be willing to do is draw up a paper that gives you the power of attorney over me specifically for these 3 documents, so you can deal with them yourself. I was like... uh I've never heard of this, but even if we can do that, you'll still have to take THAT document to a notary, I'm sure. She didn't care about that and started talking to me about how she thinks if she signs the documents they'll be able to pry into her finances. She's always had very irrational paranoias about things but wow. Then she breathed a sigh of relief when I said I'd try to figure that out, and thanked me for being cool about it, and said take care and bye. Very, very nice about it all.

I actually feel really sorry for her now. :( Absolutely everything seems to overwhelm her, I was hoping for her sake it was better than it was at the end of our relationship but although she definitely seems to have improved to some extent, she must be pretty non-functional still, if signing 3 documents that both me and the mortgage company have fully explained to her causes her this much distress. I think it stems from her being super paranoid, but it doesn't even make any sense because if I end up signing the documents for her, it's functionally and legally identical to if she just does it herself.

What a strange bird... 8( On the other hand I think it bodes well for being able to believe that she actually still doesn't want anything from me, and that she'll sign a no-fault divorce. I want to get this stuff done first, before asking her to sign the property settlement agreement and divorce papers.
 
And now the loan person just called her and they worked out that a local representative will come to her and she'll sign the papers with him. So, problem solved. :) :?

EDIT: And now the mortgage person emailed me saying that she stated she wants to remain on the title at this time, and asked me if this is correct. What the fuck? Gonna call her again... if she's playing games here it's a really strange game. Maybe she's really, really confused.
 
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Okay so she told me that she got scared because she thought if she answered the mortgage person "yes" that she wanted to be removed from the title, that she'd have to show up for the closing. (???) So I called her to try to get to the bottom of it. She wasn't making much sense until she told me that she knows it can't last forever but that she feels like it's good for her financial position and credit and stuff to be able to say she owns a house. At least I can understand that, although it's well past time for her to be standing on her own two feet. She is clearly very overwhelmed and feels like someone might be pulling something over her. She wanted to understand where I am coming from, so I just leveled with her and told her everything that's been going on in my head about this. About how I don't believe she is going to try to get something from me, since I know her well, but that I can't help but be really nervous given that it's almost been 10 years, and she's evading being transferred off the deed. She said that totally makes sense and that she had no idea there was the 50/50 split law in Illinois, and that she thinks that's insane and stupid. She said she just wanted to keep ignoring it and has no intentions of trying to get anything from me. So I told her about how we could do a no-fault divorce... she told me she absolutely can't afford a lawyer and doesn't want to involve one anyway, and that her sister's divorce has been dragging on for years and it's horrible (then she started crying, definitely legitimate tears too, it's abundantly obvious to me how overwhelmed and near to panic she is about this). She said the no-fault divorce sounds good but she has to let this sink in. I tried to get her to say she'd just sign the removal from the deed but she'd fall down some confusion/paranoia hole and it would get nowhere. She did tell me flat-out that she absolutely still has no intention of trying to get anything from me. I told her that I really want this thing to be done, very soon, because if something were to happen I would lose my home. She understood and then started crying again. I told her I understood this was a lot to chew on so let it sink in and we can talk again tomorrow.

Oy... god almighty, she is a mess. :\
 
Wowza -- I can't take it! lol

Glad it's you and not me. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of five years. Just didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, with expectations and all that. The freedom is tangible.

This morning a tree fell onto my house! The damage isn't too bad.
 
Xork, your ex is living back home near your family, right? Is she comfortable enough with any of them for them to help her out through it? Or might that not help her anxiety after all?
 
She lives with her mom. Last night she texted me and said to send the papers and she would sign. If she doesn't, I'm gonna call her mom. I was always very close with her mom, I was the son she never had.
 
Last night my girl and I were talking. She doesn't like where she lives because it's lonely and it smells bad. She's had a run of bad luck with housing, and she can't afford a nice place, really. It really bums her out. She started asking me if I would like to have a roommate with a little grin, and I could tell she was trying to ask me if I would like if we lived together. I thought about it and I realized that I think it would be really nice. :) So we played a little lighthearted beating around the bush game for a few minutes and then started really talking about it. I think it would be really nice to be able to fall asleep with her every night and see her every morning. The only real downside is that I like having my own place, but spending extended periods of time cohabitating has always been really nice with her. And she's not the type to try to lock me down, really my life wouldn't change much except we'd be more intertwined and I'd see her more often. Plus, she would help out with the mortgage and bills which would be awesome for me, suddenly a good $400 maybe in my pocket every month which would be amazing. So, although we haven't decided for sure, I think within a couple of months when she moves out of her current place, she'll end up moving in with me. Big thing, but we've been together almost 4 years, I love her and the relationship is very strong, I love spending time with her. :)
 
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Yeah you always do a lot of good thinking about these types of things. I think you've evaluated the situation well--there are pros and cons--the ability to enjoy the pros while mitigating the cons is the key!
 
Its nice living with your partner :) I've done it for over ten years, on and off. I had a 18 month period living by myself after recovering from my addiction and while I enjoyed the freedom, I was also really fucking lonely for a lot of the time. Still, you gain a lot of life/adult skills, it benefited me having to learn to pay bills and keep my shit together.
 
This is a beautiful post-metal track with a bit of black/shoegaze. Instrumental and so wistful and nostalgic. Gets heavy but in a post-rock sense more than anyting (okay, black metal-ish too).

 
Dogs you guys get this
Like youll hear a song in a mix right and remember hearing that song in the club months ago or whatever?
Like i doubt yoy guys know this track but its a popular joint as of the last few monnths. I dont remwmber which show i heard it at but you know once you drop L and start trippin in the club it can be a blur till you leave hahaha
The joint wjere its like
Love is blind thats why we lose sight
Or some shit like that
Idk vibezzz bro if i can get off im gonna go out in like 2 weeks so i gotta grab some L in time.
You guys shoulda had the tabs i had when i seen sigma. Best L i ever dropped yo. Pink panthers iirc(???)
Err nah pink panthers was nye
 
swilow said:
Its nice living with your partner :) I've done it for over ten years, on and off. I had a 18 month period living by myself after recovering from my addiction and while I enjoyed the freedom, I was also really fucking lonely for a lot of the time. Still, you gain a lot of life/adult skills, it benefited me having to learn to pay bills and keep my shit together.
Click to expand...

Yeah I've been living alone for over 4 years. Well, our friend samadhi_smiles lived with me for about a year in there. But it's been a long time since then. I work from home too, so I get a lot of time to myself. I think I'm cool with not that. But I mean she works too, not at home, so it's gonna be really similar except some mornings will be made better, and some nights too. :)

Okay pretty sure I'm into it.
 
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