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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Cross-dimensional chatter. Now featuring mesphereomeantoliopeme.
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Jesusgreen
Bluelight Crew
My advice is just to talk a lot during the comedown, and avoid any other drugs as while I normally smoke weed or drink a little alcohol to ease certain comedowns both made my heart rate soar on the tail end of 6-APB and made it more unpleasant.
Now that I've kicked my anxiety's ass a good bunch of times and am actually starting to have a decent social life, looking for a job etc, I think it may be time to revisit 4-AcO-DMT properly, and see if it'll stop kicking my ass for not dealing with my problems :D
Delsyd
Bluelight Crew
4 aco dmt is the next psych ill be taking.
After the past year of abusing mostly dissociatives (MXE), but also alcohol and cannabis and most recently opiates again.
I feel the urge right now to go clean for a good bit of time and try come to terms and assess why i have these addictive problems.
After the sober period, which i hope to be around 2-3 months, in which ill be doing healthy things such as yoga, meditation and other healthy practices, i want my first trip to be on 4 aco dmt.
The stuff has got to be be my favorite psychedelic after some nice clean lsd. The depth that i achieved with it without the accompanied mind fuck/anxiety was equivalent to lsd.
This all resulted after recently my gf catching my doing MXE without having let her know.
Me using dissociatives with out telling her (mostly K in the past but mxe as of recently) has been a constant problem in our relationship.
Not so much my using the drug as much as just not being completely honest and telling her im on something,
I would always feel quilty telling her though because i always felt i was usiing more often than shed approve, thus doing it behind her back.
But i think this (partial) sobriety (i still smoke herb and drink beer about once a week) will allow me the time to hopefully correct the problems.
The problems being mainly:
-using dissociatives too often
-being honest with my gf if im on drugs
After the past year of abusing mostly dissociatives (MXE), but also alcohol and cannabis and most recently opiates again.
I feel the urge right now to go clean for a good bit of time and try come to terms and assess why i have these addictive problems.
After the sober period, which i hope to be around 2-3 months, in which ill be doing healthy things such as yoga, meditation and other healthy practices, i want my first trip to be on 4 aco dmt.
The stuff has got to be be my favorite psychedelic after some nice clean lsd. The depth that i achieved with it without the accompanied mind fuck/anxiety was equivalent to lsd.
This all resulted after recently my gf catching my doing MXE without having let her know.
Me using dissociatives with out telling her (mostly K in the past but mxe as of recently) has been a constant problem in our relationship.
Not so much my using the drug as much as just not being completely honest and telling her im on something,
I would always feel quilty telling her though because i always felt i was usiing more often than shed approve, thus doing it behind her back.
But i think this (partial) sobriety (i still smoke herb and drink beer about once a week) will allow me the time to hopefully correct the problems.
The problems being mainly:
-using dissociatives too often
-being honest with my gf if im on drugs
Thorns Have Roses
Bluelight Crew
Realization of sorts (while sober). Haven't had time for internet, will try to be back on doing things tomorrow hopefully. Sorting things out (and trying to get to bed earlier since I've cut it down to three glasses of wine per evening for now).
Jesusgreen
Bluelight Crew
That sounds like a great plan to me Delsyd 
I hope you manage to get things back on track.
Dissociatives are a bit of a foul mistress like that, and while I find them fun, they generally cause nothing but problems in the long run if used anything other than sporadically once in a while. My run ins with Ketamine and MXE have been the same, they excite me and feel like they're improving my life, when in reality I'm just making excuses to have more fun with them. I think I'll always have a place for dissociatives in my life but recently after some time with MXE I've decided I don't want to make a habit of it, as I've seen the damage it can cause.
4-AcO-DMT is a wonderful healing substances. With all the absolute horror, anxiety and terrifying things I've experienced on it (some of the worst experiences I've had in my whole life) you'd think I'd hate the thing, but on the contrary it's one of the substances I have the most respect for, as it has no tolerance for me trying to play games with it, kicks my ass if I try to do so - but when approached with a clear head and an open mind, shows me everything I need to know at that particular time. Beautiful, and I think that's a great choice for your next trip
Blehhh. My computer is annoying me to no end recently, I had to replace a £300 graphics card that died on me last year, and only a few months ago my 1.5TB HDD decided to turn into a pile of bad sectors and become virtually unusable, resulting in me purchasing a new 2TB HDD... which did the exact same thing yesterday![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I hope you manage to get things back on track. Dissociatives are a bit of a foul mistress like that, and while I find them fun, they generally cause nothing but problems in the long run if used anything other than sporadically once in a while. My run ins with Ketamine and MXE have been the same, they excite me and feel like they're improving my life, when in reality I'm just making excuses to have more fun with them. I think I'll always have a place for dissociatives in my life but recently after some time with MXE I've decided I don't want to make a habit of it, as I've seen the damage it can cause.
4-AcO-DMT is a wonderful healing substances. With all the absolute horror, anxiety and terrifying things I've experienced on it (some of the worst experiences I've had in my whole life) you'd think I'd hate the thing, but on the contrary it's one of the substances I have the most respect for, as it has no tolerance for me trying to play games with it, kicks my ass if I try to do so - but when approached with a clear head and an open mind, shows me everything I need to know at that particular time. Beautiful, and I think that's a great choice for your next trip
Blehhh. My computer is annoying me to no end recently, I had to replace a £300 graphics card that died on me last year, and only a few months ago my 1.5TB HDD decided to turn into a pile of bad sectors and become virtually unusable, resulting in me purchasing a new 2TB HDD... which did the exact same thing yesterday
Thorns Have Roses
Bluelight Crew
The mystic experience (++++), faith (the light at the end of the tunnel/meaningfullness of life), and good works (do good). Not three paths of spirituality, but three parts to the answer, the synthesis of the experience and everyday life. Keeping your ideals you believe in (let's be serious, does anyone here really take moral relativism/nihilism seriously? Love, joy, and kindness are certainly preferable to hate, despair, and cruelty) and life as you live it separate/see it everyday can be pretty disasterous (drive a man to numb himself rather than face up to emptiness of a life based off of survival and pursuit of pleasure). Dropping out is for most a fallacious attempt to return to naive-purity. So what to do? Deny yourself, and live entirely along your ideals (love your neighbor as thyself).
This doesn't mean humanism and donating to charity with your extra money, this is a lifestyle. How do you love yourself? You give yourself food and shelter, heal your injuries, rationalize (forgive yourself) what wrongs you may commit, seek relaxation and relief. This is how you love your neighbor, forgive and bless those that do you ill, feed the hungered, help the homeless and impoverished improve there lives with every bit of effort you expend on yourself.
Can you be said to love your neighbor as yourself if you eat prime rib while they are hungered, wear expensive jewelry and designer clothing while they go hungry and wear rags? Drive a BMW whilst they walk or bike, or scrounge to take public transportation? No, if you do these things you do not love them, you love wealth and what you may cast you cast from abundance (and how little it is, truly). Be not a hypocrite and do these things. And when you dot ake luxuries for yourself (for certainly, every mans deserves rest and merriment), make it one that you are willing to share/give to those who can afford not (not everyday/time, but when you can). Let your joy be bringing joy to others, and since we all like feeling good, tarry not and maximize the joy you bring.
Such is my theory, displayed in as clear and nonreligious terms as possible. I ought to attempt it, it will either work out, or I'll be right back where I've been, numbing myself (either you let the pain and evils of the world crush you and seek to escape them, or seek to fight evil by doing none and bring goodness into the world, and thus find the meaning needed to bear the pain and make it productive).
This doesn't mean humanism and donating to charity with your extra money, this is a lifestyle. How do you love yourself? You give yourself food and shelter, heal your injuries, rationalize (forgive yourself) what wrongs you may commit, seek relaxation and relief. This is how you love your neighbor, forgive and bless those that do you ill, feed the hungered, help the homeless and impoverished improve there lives with every bit of effort you expend on yourself.
Can you be said to love your neighbor as yourself if you eat prime rib while they are hungered, wear expensive jewelry and designer clothing while they go hungry and wear rags? Drive a BMW whilst they walk or bike, or scrounge to take public transportation? No, if you do these things you do not love them, you love wealth and what you may cast you cast from abundance (and how little it is, truly). Be not a hypocrite and do these things. And when you dot ake luxuries for yourself (for certainly, every mans deserves rest and merriment), make it one that you are willing to share/give to those who can afford not (not everyday/time, but when you can). Let your joy be bringing joy to others, and since we all like feeling good, tarry not and maximize the joy you bring.
Such is my theory, displayed in as clear and nonreligious terms as possible. I ought to attempt it, it will either work out, or I'll be right back where I've been, numbing myself (either you let the pain and evils of the world crush you and seek to escape them, or seek to fight evil by doing none and bring goodness into the world, and thus find the meaning needed to bear the pain and make it productive).
Cyanoide
Bluelighter
I've now taken the decision to definitely stop using stimulants (as in "pure" chemicals like amphetamines), I have an addictive mind and they are both addictive and does more harm than good for me. I still suffer from anxiety and social phobias and while stimulants are great for removing social phobias, they make them worse while sober. Also, I feel empty, lethargic and generally just not interested in anything after using them. Even though I've used them in quite small amounts for functional stimulation. In a way I still feel they have a place for functional stimulation, I too often continue using them after the "task" I took them for is accomplished. Sometimes because I'm bored. But also because they are moreish.
Also, I'll be taking a break from MXE. Too much, too often since it came out on that market has clearly impacted my brain. It doesn't go together with tryptamines anymore, it turns them into bad trips. Doses over 30 mg makes my speech so slurry nobody understands me. This is a new effect that started a couple of months ago. Before that I never had such symptoms with it, not even with 100+ mg doses. And there's just no magic in it anymore, it's almost become boring.
Yesterday I took a small dose of pentedrone (15 mg) because I had no motivation and I had lots of things to do after work. Even the small dose was too much though, and the residual stimulation combined with strong anxiety was just too much. I took 375 mg Lyrica and it did wonders! It felt like it wiped out the stimulant effects completely. The only "problem" is Lyrica's effects last much longer than 5-6 hours without tolerance. Especially when taken before sleep, I still feel the effects clearly over 10 hours after taking the dose. But it's actually a really nice feeling now, when I came to work 4 hours ago I was very groggy. Fortunately I was alone at the office then. Lyrica is a very enjoyable drug, but I've been addicted to it (600 mg per day) so I use it very rarely. It reminds me very much of GHB.
Anyway I flushed down all my stimulants down the toilet yesterday. It feels like the right decision. They are bad for me.
Also, I'll be taking a break from MXE. Too much, too often since it came out on that market has clearly impacted my brain. It doesn't go together with tryptamines anymore, it turns them into bad trips. Doses over 30 mg makes my speech so slurry nobody understands me. This is a new effect that started a couple of months ago. Before that I never had such symptoms with it, not even with 100+ mg doses. And there's just no magic in it anymore, it's almost become boring.
Yesterday I took a small dose of pentedrone (15 mg) because I had no motivation and I had lots of things to do after work. Even the small dose was too much though, and the residual stimulation combined with strong anxiety was just too much. I took 375 mg Lyrica and it did wonders! It felt like it wiped out the stimulant effects completely. The only "problem" is Lyrica's effects last much longer than 5-6 hours without tolerance. Especially when taken before sleep, I still feel the effects clearly over 10 hours after taking the dose. But it's actually a really nice feeling now, when I came to work 4 hours ago I was very groggy. Fortunately I was alone at the office then. Lyrica is a very enjoyable drug, but I've been addicted to it (600 mg per day) so I use it very rarely. It reminds me very much of GHB.
Anyway I flushed down all my stimulants down the toilet yesterday. It feels like the right decision. They are bad for me.
phenethylo J
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2010
- Messages
- 5,072
I can't wait untill monday. Once I get home from my doctor which I might have a drug test at I can smoke bud again. I have a nice smelly 1/4th waiting for in in my droor. My mxe and bud tolerence is down since I took a break from them so next week will be fun. I really need to try mixing mxe and 2c-e again. I mixed them 2 weeks ago for the first time and it was one mind blowing beautiful trip. Thankfully I still have some 2c-e left.
HighonLife
Bluelighter
just had a very pleasent experience on ~10mg of 4 aco dmt
went for a walk with my girl around campus, had a great evening, it was a very nice experience n i quite liked the 4 aco, ill def give it another go at a higher dosage sometime in the near future, arts and jazz festival is coming n a month or so
mxe, keep reading about it and thinking 'man i needta try a bit of that'
went for a walk with my girl around campus, had a great evening, it was a very nice experience n i quite liked the 4 aco, ill def give it another go at a higher dosage sometime in the near future, arts and jazz festival is coming n a month or so
mxe, keep reading about it and thinking 'man i needta try a bit of that'
PepperSocks
Bluelight Crew
My god, I haven't been so close to grabbing someone by the throat and wrangling the shit out of them in so long.
The TA's for one of my labs are the most pedagogic, draconian, arbitrary, senseless, unreasonable ass-holes I have ever worked with.
I seriously wanted to physically engage, I was so pissed off.
GRRRRRRR
The TA's for one of my labs are the most pedagogic, draconian, arbitrary, senseless, unreasonable ass-holes I have ever worked with.
I seriously wanted to physically engage, I was so pissed off.
GRRRRRRR
Cyanoide
Bluelighter
Sometimes you find strange things when thoroughly cleaning your flat. I found a ziplock bag with 5 g MDAT. Now MDAT is actually quite crappy, but since I don't have else to do I decided to take 400 mg. The last time I took it I didn't feel any effects before consuming almost a gram (!), but now there's a quite nice, warm and fluffy feeling. I generally don't like serotonine releasers (I hate MDMA) but I guess this feeling is quite OK. I'm on mirtazapine so it probably weakens the effect to some extent.
Oh, I also found Camfetamine but I won't touch that stuff again. And my decision to quit stimulants still holds.
Oh, I also found Camfetamine but I won't touch that stuff again. And my decision to quit stimulants still holds.
Cyanoide
Bluelighter
PepperSocks
Bluelight Crew
^ Hippy. Meditation's for panzies. Free the beast, use the rage to reach a state of higher rage, then once the drugs have kicked in, let the rage rest for a bit.
Cyanoide
Bluelighter
^ Hippy. Meditation's for panzies. Free the beast, use the rage to reach a state of higher rage, then once the drugs have kicked in, let the rage rest for a bit.
If you'd see me, a hippy is the last thing that would come to mind
In no way am I free from feelings such as anger, frustration, jealousy or arrogance (towards certain people I just consider stupid). Meditation doesn't make me a saint. If it helps, let your anger out, but try and turn it into something productive. For example exercise. That way you'll do two good things at once; let your anger out and exercising is, well, healthy. At least that's why I've heard.Edit: Or then just snort a fat line of coke and beat the living shit out of someone.
Seyer
Bluelight Crew
Or just jump into a K-hole, youll forget the real world entirely :D
TheAppleCore
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2007
- Messages
- 5,510
See, this is why I have little interest in trying stimulants. I want to have a productive life, and I can't imagine getting much done if I'm feeling empty, lethargic and uninterested.
Jesusgreen
Bluelight Crew
Took mdma for the first time 2 hours ago.
OH MY GODDDDD
I love PD so much guys. You're the most amazing people. Hugs? :D
OH MY GODDDDD
I love PD so much guys. You're the most amazing people. Hugs? :D
Thorns Have Roses
Bluelight Crew
If you'd see me, a hippy is the last thing that would come to mind
Edit: Or then just snort a fat line of coke and beat the living shit out of someone.
No one is free of those feelings, some just see the futility of acting upon them (as you said, use it productively).
Psox, will rebuking this person lead them to be better (/will they heed advice), if so tell them. If not, ignore it as best as possible. Anger and hatred are not effective tools to fight the anger and hatred in the world. Knowing this, try not to let it fester within you, wish in your mind that through grace they might learn better, then let go. Next time you meet them it'll all come back as strongly as ever, so forgive again as best you can. It's not easy to do so, but is doing the easy thing any better?
In other news, I'm 22 today! And how do I get to celebrate? Coming on here and moderating (didn't see either generous tweaker nor stoner acquaintances while driving around). Yeaaaaah.
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helium-4
Bluelight Crew
thinking I might order some ur-144. All the damn cannabinoids are banned in TX but i think this one is still available for me to order. Hopefully it all works out and I get a few grams in. I've been wanting some weed, or a cannabinoid so much recetnly. Been since the end of sept since I've smoked actual weed. Hopefully it will be legit.
TheAppleCore
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2007
- Messages
- 5,510
Happy birthday Never!
I love you too, Jesus. Glad you're having a good time. Your post made me laugh though, it is the classic first-time MDMA post in PD Social. I feel like I'm having deja-vu. :D
Took mdma for the first time 2 hours ago.
OH MY GODDDDD
I love PD so much guys. You're the most amazing people. Hugs? :D
I love you too, Jesus.
Glad you're having a good time. Your post made me laugh though, it is the classic first-time MDMA post in PD Social. I feel like I'm having deja-vu. :D- Status