• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ
  • PD Moderators: Esperighanto | JackARoe |

☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Cross-dimensional chatter. Now featuring mesphereomeantoliopeme.

Status
Not open for further replies.
Roger&Me said:
{picsaved}
0_0


lol, I'm tempted to eat some more of my super weed coconut oil.... but its so goddamn strong that whenever I eat it, its like my whole mind becomes one long string of absurd non-sequiturs... I try to sleep and I'm having faint visions / fantasies of giant chickens walking along checking their pocket watches and saying shit like "fine day for a pig race, isn't it? good day, good sir!" and then a giant lizard makes and appalled face and goes "dear god!" and then it all disappears if I even try to think rationally for a second. Its just subtle enough to make me feel truly insane :D

But........ I think I'll eat a spoonful anyways. =D
Click to expand...

I feel you, although I'm nearing the 6-week point in my abstinence from cannabis. But I remember when I used to cook coconut weed oil, I would be really careful giving it out to people because I knew it was about 10x stronger than their "put 10g of ground up mids into brownie mix"-type baked goods. I would make capsules or take .125 or .25 of cooked weed in oil and that on it's own was enough for me, some others with high tolerances needed .5 to 1g to fully take off though. I couldn't imagine that, I would just be sweating and tripping out in an unpleasant way, people underestimate oral cannabis until something like that happens.

I haven't posted here in a while, probably since my last DXM experience. I think the dissociation is what provoked me to take such a long break from weed, seeing my thought processes in a very different light. I read that it can take up to 6 weeks for all the metabolites to clear the body, and although I'm not going to be drug tested or anything, I haven't taken that long of a break in years and I just want to see what it's like to have 0% THC in my system. There's also the aspect of self-control, eliminating habits to shake up your mental life. I'm going to be graduating from University in a few months and I want to experience this victory with a crystal clear mind and healthy body. I'm thinking alot differently now but it's a realization that thoughts, brain-chemistry and attitude towards life are all inter-related. I would never look down on marijuana users, I loved it and the mindstates it put me it, it just didn't do the same old thing the last few times I did it... and now there's a bittersweet feeling of knowing that it's time in my life has passed. Time to try something different, I suppose.

/journal-entry post

EDIT: Post #42, the meaning of life? Perhaps...
 
^Well good luck with that sir, and the life in general. I don't know, people moving on always seems more than sweet, maybe just because I'm not usually the one doing it. Just jumping down a different rabbit hole, but maybe it's the same for everyone...

As I take a couple days off, and maybe visit a doctor about my back, there are some serious thoughts I'd like to leave as well. Was in a very good/spiritual mood this last week (vague ++++ ish feelings sober I was able to get going and keep going), I Ching said illumination became inbalanced and injured itself, and my progress is in danger. Not for vague reasons am I now so bothered but the concerns of Real Life inserting themselves quite forcefully, can one follow the tao/attain the kingdom of heaven/whatever you call it while being forced to exist in this society? I just read Kesey's Demon Box this week, and that was dealing with the same shit in parts. I ended up coming back to this, yeah I've quoted it before, but it pierced deep into me ever since the first time I heard it:

Hunter S. Thompson said:
“We are all wired into a survival trip now. No more of the speed that fueled that 60's. That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip. He crashed around America selling "consciousness expansion" without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait for all the people who took him seriously... All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody... or at least some force - is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.”
Click to expand...

What do we do then, fall into cynicism and suicide? Dispel our doubts and sorrows to go deeper into the pudding, that is, try to be carried only on Faith? Because that serenity, that living on emotional power within you and appreciating life as you have it, the closer we get the more we realize just how far off in the distance it truly is. I guess the question is, is it something we can earn, not as destination I know, but as perhaps the metaphorical lifestyle of rugged mountaineer of the days of yore, who knows HOW to make the most of his never ending journey through life's peaks and valleys, to carry on amidst bees in sunny meadows and grizzly bears in the rocky crags of the High Sierras. Or we just chasing after a mirage, getting stranded deeper and deeper into the desert, Death Valley, the chances of ever getting out growing ever slimmer as we persist in this delirious dream-quest?
 
Never Knows Best said:
What do we do then, fall into cynicism and suicide? Dispel our doubts and sorrows to go deeper into the pudding, that is, try to be carried only on Faith? Because that serenity, that living on emotional power within you and appreciating life as you have it, the closer we get the more we realize just how far off in the distance it truly is. I guess the question is, is it something we can earn, not as destination I know, but as perhaps the metaphorical lifestyle of rugged mountaineer of the days of yore, who knows HOW to make the most of his never ending journey through life's peaks and valleys, to carry on amidst bees in sunny meadows and grizzly bears in the rocky crags of the High Sierras. Or we just chasing after a mirage, getting stranded deeper and deeper into the desert, Death Valley, the chances of ever getting out growing ever slimmer as we persist in this delirious dream-quest?
Click to expand...

Balance of the two. To think too much and be too aware of the futility of the situation is no good. To ignore it in blissful ignorance only to inevitably become aware again, in a state where you've fallen even lower is also no good.

I've noticed in my times of 'high', being happy-go-lucky I'm not feeling imprisoned but those states are always transient and always end in a crash of realization. I'm currently in a state of realization, feeling imprisoned, going through the motions, etc. I've been through the cycle often enough to know a state of happy-go-luckyness shouldn't be too far away. It seems to be based on 3-month timeframes for some reason, maybe the seasons thing.

About that ideological yearning for times of old, wandering mountaineer, bushman, humble farmer, etc.; it's flawed. There's a reason we stopped doing that stuff; it's a bloody hard life. To live off the land by your own hand is a brutal existence that is extremely difficult and romanticized in modern times. I've had very short-term stints of bushlife and without provisions brought in from modern society (food), even with a modern firearm, sustaining myself is something I failed at. Given, it was winter and wildlife was very scarce was a major factor. Nonetheless, evolution is a one-way direction, once acclimatized to modern life, going back to simpler times isn't an option. Our minds also aren't capable of dealing with the isolation and lack of stimulation.

Lately I've been finding my run-off-the-mill undegraduate education to be incredibly 'bullshit'. I feel like I'm getting dumber. Being plowed with volumes of unapplicable, meaningless information, expected to regurgitate it verbatim from a perfect memory by a deadline has me feeling generally low.

I've effectively fallen from being 'really smart' to being 'really average'. I've lost that stupid drive to be one of the elite, to be okay with being average feels like the way a human is supposed to function. There's a also a lot less pressure I'm putting on myself as a result.
 
Never Knows Best said:
Have I posted this here yet? Eh, I'll risk it and just delete if I have, anyway it's quite a good one I think: (tagged to make post smaller, it is sfw)
NSFW:
Guest-post_Courtney_FGM-pic-3.jpg
Click to expand...

i really dont know if you've posted it already or not but i enjoyed it,

went n saw Quidam last night and it was fuckin sweet, i enjoyed the hell outta it and im pretty sure my girl enjoyed it more than me soo that was kool

didnt end up consuming any psychs and im kinda glad i didnt cuz my only complaint was how uncomfortable the seats were and i dunno if i coulda sat still whilst tripping, it was hard enoug sittin still as is

hows everyone in here today?
 
I would never have thought this but Pentedrone, of all compounds, is actually a very functional stimulant in small doses (5-15 mg). I would never go higher with the dose, even 30 mg is too much for me. I still prefer MPA as a functional stimulant but at the moment I'm at work and just felt so tired and lethargic in the morning I decided to take a small line (I don't have MPA anymore and got Pentedrone as a sample).

I've come to the conclusion that although I intensely dislike stimulants in high doses, I need them for functionality every now and then. Also the side effects are almost zero with the very low doses I take.

Anyway today's time for some MXE and I'm thinking of adding a tryptamine, but I'm not sure which. The choice is between 4-AcO-DMT and 4-AcO-DPT. Very different in character so I don't know which yet, in a way I long for the opiat'ish warmth, inner peace and trancelike state of 4-AcO-DMT, on the other hand the thought of a more crazy ego-death "where is my head?" with 4-AcO-DPT sounds intriguing.
 
TheAppleCore said:
Fuck it. I hate it when this happens. I can't stop thinking about everything. It's so distracting and counter-productive to have to constantly analyze everything to the nth degree. WHY CAN'T I TURN MY BRAIN OFF?!

How do you guys do it? Seriously how do you just go about your lives without having to understand the "science" behind EVERY single little thing you see or do? How do you just go, "well I don't know everything, and I can't know everything, so might as well just give up, let it be a mystery"?
Click to expand...

I have the same problem, especially regarding myself. I always, continuosly analyze myself and my behaviour. The best remedy I've found is meditation. There are numerous kinds of meditation but when I meditate I don't analyze anything, I let my thoughts flow freely. I'm not always successful in it, but it's rewarding when you do it. It just takes time to feel the effects in every day life. Mostly I practice vipassanā meditation, although "customized" to my needs.

Obviously, you don't shut down your brain when meditating. You do the opposite. But you don't judge or analyze everything (or even anything), you just try to feel your "inner self", being in contact with yourself and only yourself, not the surrounding world that distracts you. This is in line with mindfulness which I have found very useful.

But, weak as I am, I do resort to some downers, mainly Lyrica. Benzos have nearly no effect because of tolerance. Lyrica is really great stuff for just being stupid and non-productive while having fun at the same time.
 
^ Sadly cannabinoids only worsen the problem for me. Psychedelics also amplify the problem tenfold, but if I do manage to calm my analytical mind during the psychedelic state, it is an exceptionally beautiful experience. Dissociatives sometimes help calm my thoughts, but sometimes hinder, by making me confused and "forget" how to practice meditation. Alcohol has helped on occasion.

Cyanoide said:
I have the same problem, especially regarding myself. I always, continuosly analyze myself and my behaviour. The best remedy I've found is meditation. There are numerous kinds of meditation but when I meditate I don't analyze anything, I let my thoughts flow freely. I'm not always successful in it, but it's rewarding when you do it. It just takes time to feel the effects in every day life. Mostly I practice vipassanā meditation, although "customized" to my needs.
Click to expand...

Interesting. I'll have to look into vipassana meditation. I too have developed my own personal "style" of meditation. I wonder how it compares to vipassana.



In the category of good news, my order of 4-HO-MiPT has recently arrived. :) Very excited to do some experimentation this weekend.
 
careful with the 4-ho-mipt... i find it puts me in a rather stimulated and manic state. i mean, its wonderful for me, but for you, TAC, it might speed your thoughts even more...

but i think this problem with "thinking too much" can be at least treated with selfcontrol and education of ones own mind. during my stressful periods during school for instance, and later, artificially generated through occasional stim use, there is a torrent of thoughts racing in my mind. concentration is difficult and i did get overwhelming at times. but with experience, there came a certain clarity. once can put these racing thoughts to good use in detailing and trying to analyze a simple idea from multiple angles. grr, im having a hard time explaining myself...

set simple goals, not only to start things, but also to end them.

i too suffer from a certain addiction to "the science behind everything", but i try to put it to good use. for instance, if i worked in an IT field, and i find myself reading about the corals of the great barrier reef and whatnot, once i realize that im not being productive, ill try to direct the science seeking towards something related to my work field.
doesnt always work though.

also, i might just be rambling because its 4am and i just got home from a rather long night that didnt go well but not bad either...

much love
 
Finally got my new power cable for my laptop today :), my old one had busted and I was without a compy for a bit. How's everyone doing? I feel like this week went by way too quickly. My plan for the evening is to relax, drink, smoke weed, and maybe have a little MXE, and watch a trippy movie or two. What to watch...
 
PepperSocks said:
Lately I've been finding my run-off-the-mill undegraduate education to be incredibly 'bullshit'. I feel like I'm getting dumber. Being plowed with volumes of unapplicable, meaningless information, expected to regurgitate it verbatim from a perfect memory by a deadline has me feeling generally low.
Click to expand...

This is why I drink excessively. :)

(Do not recommend.)
 
yucatanboy2 said:
Are you drunk on wine?
Click to expand...

Fuck yes. You know well that the trader joe's two buck chuck is the best shit you can get unless you get a handle of cheap bourbon from bevmo for 10ish dollars. Drinken' copious amounts of wine. It'll make sense tomorrow? Maybe.


Stuff by psox:
The best we can hope for is humor from the steppenwolf, eh? We shall see yet, I don't know but there should be an end to id\t (gonna read some more Hesse and Kesey now).
 
Last edited:
I drank some beers, smoked a bowl, took some mxe and started watching a documentary called "the four-winged dinosaur"... about fossils and dinosaur evolution. Now all I can think about are dinosaurs and bantam cochin chickens and how they are evolutionarily connected :). Good times. A nice relaxing friday.
 
so very grateful with the soul and mindset i carry inside me. age is irrelevant and always has been, its what you do with the life lessons learned and unlearned. there is so much nonsense on this planet and we have to be on a mission to remove and grow away from it. nothing is impossible and everything is completely probable. just depends on the ratio you wanna play with. is your glass half empty or half full? or are you just going to say hey, im thirsty and am in need of some realistic thirst quenching. carry the fire and last but not least, do not get burned.

not saying a little heat wont hurt, but it's always nice to find yourself at the end of day in no need for a bandage. today's enlightment is tommorrow's ego trip. balance is the key, and try not to be in hurry to open all those locks at once.

thank you all.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top