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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Cross-dimensional chatter. Now featuring mesphereomeantoliopeme.

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Haha, no, just felt like providing some perspective to the previous conversation. [oh god, I'm doing it now]

And, disinhibition provided by lorazepam, not DPT. I found some old pills an old friend of mine stole from his mom about 8 years ago. A few K-pins, and lorazepam. This has been my only source of lorazepam and it is one hell of a benzo, strong as hell, and I think these were 0.5mg tabs, writing is worn off, but that's what I think they are.

I wish I could get more benzos with that cool ortho-chloro group on that bottom phenyl ring (besides phenazepam). Better yet, a lab that would nullify any concerns I had about supply of anything.
 
^
Phenazemam is the only benzo that makes me feel like I'm drunk, affecting my motoric functions. It makes you a bit retarded, but nothing like pregabalin though. Sometimes it's fun to feel retarded.

While addiction is a bitch, I still must say I quite like clonazepam. By far my favourite benzo. Extremely effective for anxiety and panic, nice muscle-relaxation, not too sedating, it feels like the most balanced benzo.

I've started noticing interest in things again, the SSRI withdrawal is slowly starting to loose its grip on me. There's been a huge increase in music appreciation, I again feel the unique magic only psytrance and goatrance give me. Been listening to some nostalgic tracks, some tracks just have a very special meaning and memories attached to them besides sounding great. I remember this track from my first acid trip. Oh, the nostalgia. Goosebumps.
 
Oh I agree, I love feeling benzo retarded and having a hazy recollection of events the next day. I find those super potent ones to be the best (alprazolam, clonaz, loraz, the sub-mg crowd). I wish I could order 5 gram bags in pure powder form. Expand that thought; imagine if you could order 5 grams of oxycodone HCL powder, or any other damn drug you wanted.

All this could happen without prohibition. No storefronts or headshops selling it like salvia, but just the hard to find online vendors who screen their customers and practice discretion. I would be in heaven with the internet.

Many folks would likely be hopelessly addicted and go down the shithole, but I want good drugs at cheap prices damnit.

Over the day I have had ~60mg codeine (CWE upon wakening after my bathroom routing, also provides ~120mg caffeine), 75mg pregabalin, 10mg diazepam, 75mg pregabalin, 0.5mg lorazepam, eyeballed etizolam (3mg or so), some theanine, kratom, one beer (torpedo IPA, one left). Not satiated yet, I'm able to read and make coherent posts... must... consume.. more.. drugs.

Good idea on the clonazepam, I'll stick a quarter mg under my tongue. I have to conserve the stuff, until I find a 5 gram bag. :p
 
Fucking fridays. I'm always too exhausted to go out and have fun. I took a nap, and still in no condition to go out and party.
 
Watching October Sky. It's a firm reminder of my days laying around with engineering pursuits; namely ballistics. I build a potato cannon for a science project in grade 6 that I still have. I've been thinking of improving on it by sealing the pressure chamber, adding a tire valvestem to pump it up from an aircompressor and have a quickrelease valve at the beginning of the barrel that when actuated would launch the projectile.
 
yucatanboy2 said:
Fucking fridays. I'm always too exhausted to go out and have fun. I took a nap, and still in no condition to go out and party.
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I woke up 3 hours late and took two naps. But for reasons of having nothing better to and being broke and gasless, as I am wont to be. You should have inside fun, or quiet outside fun, if you have a backyard go sit in it, appreciate plant or animal life, maybe get a book or some music (has to be acoustic, and not overly busy or energetic).

Now I'm having some bitter melon tea.


psox said:
FECES!
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It may be shit but it's all I got.

Oh, I returned to this state 3 years ago today (though today is almost over). Has it really been 156 weeks of deadbeat living? Jeez. It weighs on me, but like all things, doesn't make me want to do the things I need to do, but yearn for a quick fix to solve all my problems forever.
 
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PepperSocks said:
Haha, no, just felt like providing some perspective to the previous conversation.
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You perceive it as intellectual masturbation, I'm presuming?

I am not philosophizing about metaphysics, or God, or free will, or some such cosmic idea. I am dealing with a subject that is firmly rooted in the reality we have to face every single day of our lives -- the motivations that guide every step we take. A subject, of which our understanding is crucial, in order for us to get from point A to point B in our lives. The importance of such a discussion should not be downplayed.

If your post was merely a joke, sorry for taking it seriously!
 
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TheAppleCore said:
You perceive it as intellectual masturbation, I'm presuming?

I am not philosophizing about metaphysics, or God, or free will, or some such cosmic idea. I am dealing with a subject that is firmly rooted in the reality we have to face every single day of our lives -- the motivations that guide every step we take. A subject, of which our understanding is crucial, in order for us to get from point A to point B in our lives. The importance of such a discussion should not be downplayed.

If your post was merely a joke, sorry for taking it seriously!
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Take it as a joke. I have a hard time reading paragraphs that start trying to analyse the meaning of life too hard and start going into metaphysics and other pseudoscience-ish psychobabble.

I look at what's in front of me and take it for what it is; I try not to think too much about that stuff. I think about things that involve a tangible scientific problem that can reasonably be solved.
 
TheAppleCore said:
I am not philosophizing about metaphysics, or God, or free will, or some such cosmic idea. I am dealing with a subject that is firmly rooted in the reality we have to face every single day of our lives -- the motivations that guide every step we take. A subject, of which our understanding is crucial, in order for us to get from point A to point B in our lives. The importance of such a discussion should not be downplayed.
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Sorry dude, I'm fuckered. You're actually analysing things. I dispute the seeking of joy and avoidance of sorrow as being the ultimate drivers of our behaviour, no matter how deep you go with it.

Shooting a deer can be painful for both the deer and the shooter but the meat obtained brings happiness. We do things to make other people happy which through empathy makes us happy, etc. There's lots of indirect avenues for that theory.

I think it's a lot more complex and fluid and it's something that's impossible to pin down into a neat, tidy theory. I'm not one for that philisophy/psychology crap anyways ;)
 
It's always whys and hows, but the point of the matter is to DO.

We build great castles with our words and thoughts and hide in them, traversing the highways and biways of theory and conceptualization, but the wilderness awaits! .Untamed feeling, a continuous assault of half-formed perception. Dark forests and hungry wolves unappeased by essays on philandry. For what use is a map to a man with unshod feet?
 
big assignment from work finally ended, in a glourious couple of days of more work and stress. finally, time for some sleep and indulgence...

much love to you PD! :) hope y'all have a wonderful saturday
 
PepperSocks said:
Sorry dude, I'm fuckered. You're actually analysing things.
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Heheh. I understand. Depending on the drug, philosophical conversations are the LAST thing I want to start trying to decipher while I'm high. :D

PepperSocks said:
Shooting a deer can be painful for both the deer and the shooter but the meat obtained brings happiness. We do things to make other people happy which through empathy makes us happy, etc. There's lots of indirect avenues for that theory.
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Yeah, these are two examples that fit perfectly into my paradigm.

PepperSocks said:
I think about things that involve a tangible scientific problem that can reasonably be solved.
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My joy/sorrow hypothesis is directly approaching a tangible problem that can reasonably be solved. It could be, "how can I motivate myself to include a workout in my daily routine?" Or, "how can I complete this essay by next Tuesday?"

Never Knows Best said:
It's always whys and hows, but the point of the matter is to DO.

We build great castles with our words and thoughts and hide in them, traversing the highways and biways of theory and conceptualization, but the wilderness awaits! .Untamed feeling, a continuous assault of half-formed perception. Dark forests and hungry wolves unappeased by essays on philandry. For what use is a map to a man with unshod feet?
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Good point. Poetically worded as well. :)

Although, there is a good reason that evolution granted us the human intellect. It can, if used sparingly but appropriately, translate into actions which guide us through said wilderness.

Actually, one of the most truly powerful realizations for me, has been to understand that the intellect *can't* drive everything you do, every moment of your life. When I was growing up, I was such a huge math / computer-programming nerd, that I became habituated to assuming that every problem was a logical problem. I approached my organic life in the same way as I would a digital, binary computer. But, there is an unconscious intelligence we all possess (I call it "the intuition"), which quite often surpasses the capability of the conscious intellect. Applying one's intuition is as simple as failing to apply the intellect -- it naturally takes over.

Someone else had this idea, hundreds of years before I did. Some ancient Buddhist figure, perhaps? I don't recall the exact quote, nor the man quoted, but it was something along the lines of, "Be the master of your intellect, not the slave."
 
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TheAppleCore said:
Actually, one of the most truly powerful realizations for me, has been to understand that the intellect *can't* drive everything you do, every moment of your life. When I was growing up, I was such a huge math / computer-programming nerd, that I became habituated to assuming that every problem was a logical problem. I approached my organic life in the same way as I would a digital, binary computer. But, there is an unconscious intelligence we all possess (I call it "the intuition"), which quite often surpasses the capability of the conscious intellect. Applying one's intuition is as simple as failing to apply the intellect -- it naturally takes over.
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Keep that in mind when you meet a woman. It's all intuition and zero logic. If she sais she's fine, she's most definitely not fine and if you go up to her like normal and start up a conversation she's going to get even angrier and leave the premises. ;)
 
tac said:
My joy/sorrow hypothesis is directly approaching a tangible problem that can reasonably be solved. It could be, "how can I motivate myself to include a workout in my daily routine?" Or, "how can I complete this essay by next Tuesday?"
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Oh, if you meant it only on the utilitarian level of dealing with mundanities, then I have no issue. I was thinking a couple levels more abstracted than that, in the realm of truthful statements and absolutes (or perhaps more accurately, the realm of meaningless pretentious discourse and pedantry).

New social at end of this page (let's not flaunt our traditional ignoring of the thread post-limit rules too much, eh?), here's my submission for a title: "PD Social: A recursive tableau of pyrotechnic IS-ness"
 
PepperSocks said:
Keep that in mind when you meet a woman. It's all intuition and zero logic. If she sais she's fine, she's most definitely not fine and if you go up to her like normal and start up a conversation she's going to get even angrier and leave the premises. ;)
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:D A coworker gave me identical advice, the other day.

Cyanoide said:
@TAC, have you tried 4-HO-MET yet? If yes, what's your verdict?
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Not yet -- it's the next tryptamine on my list though. :) I'm not sure if I want to try 4-HO-MET, or revisit the 2C-Xs first, since I haven't had a Shulgin phen in quite some time. Hmm...

thenightwatch said:
even if intellect drives you its still because learning gives you joy
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Yep. You are never *truly* enslaved to your intellect. Nor are you enslaved to your duties, morals, or ethics -- the only reason you behave "dutifully" is because you fancy yourself a dutiful person.

Never Knows Best said:
New social at end of this page (let's not flaunt our traditional ignoring of the thread post-limit rules too much, eh?), here's my submission for a title: "PD Social: A recursive tableau of pyrotechnic IS-ness"
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Perfect! I expected no less from you, NKB. :D
 
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