PCP Addiction

[Paranoidct]

|I wasn't sure where to put this thread so sorry if its in the wrong forum.|

I have been struggling with PCP addiction for the past 3 years. Prior to that I had a really bad DXM addiction. My DXM addiction got to the point where I'm one of those people who can't go down the OTC medicine isle without feeling like I'm gonna puke. The only reason I could stop DXM was because it stopped working on me (I didn't quit it, it quit me). So after that I got caught up with Opiates and was on them for a few years. During the last year of this I found a PCP connect and started using that. The girl I was staying with was prescribed Suboxone but it was basically something we refused to take even if we were sick. But when I found a PCP connect I started taking it and using PCP over the heroin. So PCP I can safely say is my "Drug of Choice." I didn't take Suboxone every day but I wouldn't hesitate if I had to chose between one or the other. I always chose PCP. After a while I got really messed up and ended up homeless. I wanted to get clean at this point. I tried Suboxone before and I tried just detoxing and neither worked. I had also been to a handful of rehabs. All of the rehabs told me there was only ONE WAY to get clean and that was to find god and do the 12 steps. I'm not religious and it just didn't work for me. They also told me Methadone was evil and rotted your bones and all those myths people say. I decided to read up on it myself and decided to get on it. I got 8 months clean from everything right away when I got on it. Prior to getting on methadone I could barley pull 8 days together and that usually was because I had no possible way of getting high. The program I go to is really excellent. They take really good care of their clients.

Anyway, after 8 months I relapsed on PCP. I stayed on it for 2 months and then got clean again. Then I got another 8 months clean and relapsed on PCP again. Then I got ANOTHER 8 months clean and relapsed AGAIN on PCP and this time I met an amazing connect. His stuff was so pure and the bags were huge. It was better then anything I had before.

As I write this now I have 20 days clean. But I'm looking to see if anyone here can relate to this because I don't know anyone who is addicted to PCP like I am. I've tried researching the internet but only found two crappy articles here that I couldn't really relate to. One of them basically promoted PCP and the guy still uses once in a while.

So, if you relate to this and have any advice or even an experience I'd really like to hear it (especially if your clean). Thanks for reading.

 

[madswagga]

you just gotta tell yourself no. youve got to say hey i know what this is doing to me, do i want to do this the rest of my life? do this til my brain is a bunch of mush and cant even talk? life's not about that. its about being happy. you gotta find somethin else to make you happy, an outlet. cant say im clean, but i had a similar addiction with speed and am currently over 8 months clean :D if ya need somebody to talk to im here man

 

[Teotzlcoatl]

Just stick with it man, hang in there and you will be ok!

Keep in mind tho... one day the goal should be to be off ALL DRUGS!

 

[DOB]

You have extra addictive personality that means you should be extra hard on yourself.Dont use it,I believe that you have power to say stay clean forever.Say goodbye to ilusions,sweet but you had enough... now is the time to enjoy safer,less addictive drugs like weed or acid with,low tolerance and moderation is true way to good high.

 

[Jesusgreen]

I think your best bet is to smoke a fair bit of weed, it might sound odd, but seriously. I binged on Ketamine (another more intense but shorter lasting dissociative) for a while but when I wanted to stop I just started smoking a little more weed for a while, after about a month I found I was no longer interested in Ketamine except for once in a while, and I've never binged on it again since.

This might not work for you but it's certainly worth a try.

 

[Bomboclat]

^ That's merely trading one addiction for another though...

OP, just keep reminding yourself why you wanted to get clean in the first place. Its going to seem hard, you already know that, but learn from your mistakes and realize that if you really want to get clean, you really have to want it, and you have to be willing to grit your teeth and just bare with the struggle that's ahead, instead of taking the easy way out - relapse.

However, dont be discouraged by the fact that you've relapsed before. Relapse is part of recovery, and its something that we all go through. Those who succeed the best have relapsed, and it doesnt mean you're a failure or that you'll never succeed. I know you might not be thinking this now, but its best to get this out there in case you ever do.

We here in PD, as well as the fabulous mods and members of The Dark Side forum (located above Trip Reports) are always here to help you if you need it, so dont hesitate to let us know what's going on with you and we'll try our best to help in every way possible.

Much love man, you'll get through this.
If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.

 

[medical_meccanica]

I think your best bet is to smoke a fair bit of weed, it might sound odd, but seriously. I binged on Ketamine (another more intense but shorter lasting dissociative) for a while but when I wanted to stop I just started smoking a little more weed for a while, after about a month I found I was no longer interested in Ketamine except for once in a while, and I've never binged on it again since.

This might not work for you but it's certainly worth a try.

SO many people seem to advise heavy use of weed to deal with other drug addictions. In my experience weed is extremely psychologically addictive, especially to people with that kind of personality.

With drug addictions it's never a good idea to swallow the spider to eat the fly.

 

[psychomimetic]

^ That's merely trading one addiction for another though...

Trading a harmful addiction for one that's essentially harmless sounds like a pretty good idea. Clearly quitting 100% hasn't worked in the past, so why not try some weed? I don't really see what's wrong with trading a pcp addiction for a marijuana addiction.

It works for some people so why not try it?

 

[Bomboclat]

An addiction is an addiction regardless. Although smoking weed might not be as swiftly destructive as a PCP addiction, it can still cause problems.

Im not saying smoking weed is bad in this case, but the Jesusgreen was stating that making weed a large habit would be the key the success for this case, which just isnt the truth here.

and ftr, what might work for one, might not work for others.

 

[That-Strange-Guy]

Best bet is to loose your connections. Maybe leave your city if necessary, it sounds drastic but to overthrow a life crushing addiction? Yes it's worth it.

Chances are there will not be PCP outside of your surrounding areas, it is a very very rare drug, I have only heard tell of it passing through this city once and it was gone within days.

I have recently quit smoking, some say its harder to quit than hard drugs. Personally I just grabbed myself by the balls, slapped myself in the face, looked in the mirror and said "listen up punk, stop making excuses to hang onto this, if you want to quit then just stop already. Don't cut back, just quit without looking back, don't even hesitate."

Two months into my quitting cold turkey and I have been on hard drugs, and I have drank my face off without even a 30 second craving for a cigarette.

I have done the same thing with my previous MDMA addiction that I swapped for a Cocaine addiction. Once I made a decision to quit I did not even cheat once. (It took way too long to finally decide I had a problem though.)

Listen dude it's not hard to write a story on the computer but you either want to quit or you don't. Make a solid choice and run with it, don't even give in a wee bit. If you don't fully want to stop than all the advice and help in the world will not matter.

 

[mdmantpa]

Best bet is to loose your connections. Maybe leave your city if necessary, it sounds drastic but to overthrow a life crushing addiction?

^that is some of the best advice a hardcore addict can get, jsut remember that if/when you get to a new place you start with a good mind state and dont go out looking for connects. Us addicts can find shit anywhere but IME when moving to a new city as long as I don't live in/next to an open air drug market that it takes a bit of effort to have to find drugs all over again.

And I do feel you I had an intense DXM addiction in college, to the point that I was expelled because I was doing it EVERY day. I also can't even look at a bottle of Robo or think about it without getting nauseous. After that I have had my stints with coke, crack, oxy, Heroin, benzos and MDMA. Trust me when i tell you switching up is not a good first resort. Delete your phone book, move far enough away that driving back and forth would be a pain in the ass, and maybe get some therapy if NA isnt for you. Just some suggestions, may sound extreme, but it sounds like your addiction is pretty extreme as well bro. best of luck

 

[Shambles]

The moving to a new place far away from anywhere you can easily score was the only way I kicked a 10+ year heroin/crack addiction. It's drastic but when you're that heavily addicted drastic measures may be all that have a hope. Worked for me as I've been off strong opiates and rock for five years now. Was hard in the early months (for the first coupla years actually) to avoid people and areas where I knew I'd be able to score (addicts can sniff out the druggy parts of town like bloodhounds ) but it's worth not giving in to it cos you know exactly how it will end up

 

[Pegasus]

Chances are there will not be PCP outside of your surrounding areas, it is a very very rare drug, I have only heard tell of it passing through this city once and it was gone within days.

Good thing to point out, here. It rarely makes it way out of the few cities that it is concentrated in. If you move, especially to a smaller city or town, you can be pretty confident that the drug will simply not exist there.

 

[kracks]

i'm just coming out on a limb here it may not mean you are an addict,

i spent years of thinking i was a Ketamine and DXM addict, and maybe i was, but i kept taking it even to the point where i hated it and got no effects from it, i just felt i needed it, it gave me something i lacked....i would take about any downer drug i could find with it...

I went to a rehab last year, a good one and left dissatisfied, allthough clean for the time being, i really felt i was not understood, i felt helpless, i 'relapsed' a few months later

Dissociatives are addictive, but mostly psychologically...

.many people who are "addicts" tend to use opiates, alcohol, benzos, stimulants (speed, coke) and sometime cannabis (feel good) drugs

dissociatives are the quickest working recreational anti depressant i know

this is why i think it wasn't addictive behavior,
it was self medication for depression
i had been repressing my entire life (issues of sexuality, family, and social phobias and anxieties),

i began to understand that i was actually depressed and not an addict, the notion of which made me more depressed feeling it wasn't my choice to get and use, i HAD to, but it wasn't the case

what saved my life was meeting my boyfriend, who helped me take a look at myself and give it up, i did that myself (though i used small - medium amounts self prescribed diazepam, codamol, and diphenhyramine at the worst times to help ,

i was lucky to get a good doctor who actually listened to me. i am now on paroxatine and feel no desire to get ripped on dissociatives and have been around them and not felt the need

what i am trying to say is that your enjoyment for dissociative be it PCP K or DXM may spawn from a disatisfaction with yourself in someway and you need to find why and what it is that compulses you do take it in the first place

that is the only way you can change it and recover

 

[Limpet_Chicken]

That advice aside, why not start on a ractam nootropic, thats not trading an addiction for another, that would be a most likely massively healthy change.

NMDAr antagonists are notoriously neurotoxic in large quantities or sustained use, PCP particularly so.

Piracetam/aniracetam have been reported to completely block the effects of NMDA antagonists, to the extent of reversing a ket trip in mid flow.

 

[Coolio]

Although smoking weed might not be as swiftly destructive as a PCP addiction, it can still cause problems.

I'm not saying I can't think of any examples, but did you have any specific examples in mind of how a weed addiction could cause problems when you said that? I can only think of very low risk examples that nobody should be concerned about.

 

[Coolio]

Piracetam/aniracetam have been reported to completely block the effects of NMDA antagonists, to the extent of reversing a ket trip in mid flow.

What?!!

 

[General Patton]

Kudos to you for speaking about your experiences on this relatively unknown and stigmatized drug. Be sure to remember that your pain is just as real as any other addicts, and although most dissociatives aren't known for their physical withdrawal symptoms-the psychological detachment and traumatic separation from the world can be as bad as any "real" pain. Don't let anyone knock yo' face in the dust and you should be good in the hood

 

[Bomboclat]

I'm not saying I can't think of any examples, but did you have any specific examples in mind of how a weed addiction could cause problems when you said that? I can only think of very low risk examples that nobody should be concerned about.

Yes I did, quite a few actually.

 

[Shambles]

Can think of multiplicity myself. Benign drug of yore it ain't.