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PAWS is kicking my ass

PurpleMonkeys

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 8, 2015
Messages
3
Hello, everyone!

I think I've got this in the right place and if I don't, I apologize. I read through the SL forum guide and this seemed like the right place to start. For starters, I've looked up an incredibly wide range of things on Bluelight and can't stress enough how much it's helped me. From the very first days of my dabbling in substances to now, I've always consulted this forum lol. I really like to do as much research on something as I can before trying it. Anyway, on with the reason I'm posting this.

About 18 days ago I did my last dose of Morphine. My habit consisted of this, heroin, oxycodone, methadone, and/or whatever was around. My tolerance was at a point where 50mg-60mg of oxycodone was preferred for an "enjoyable" experience. Morphine, around 90mg. Most of the time I would just use once a day. The habit itself probably lasting around a year or two. Anyway, due to my life essentially falling to pieces (Mom passed away, lost girlfriend, had to move back in with my dad, etc.) I hit rock bottom and just... Became fed up with all of this. Whenever I would try and think about what was going wrong with my life and what I needed to do to get back on track, my drug use seemed to always be at the root of the problem. I don't really have a preference for any other substance. Opiates seem to be my weakness.

On day 2 of the detox, I did 2mg of Subutex. And I know that using anything during a detox is just going to set you back or delay the process. But honestly, the subutex, even at that dose, helped me enough to try and start working out, reading, functioning so I could try and develop a closer relationship with my dad, etc. I waited another three days (so day day 5 of detox) and consumed 20mg of Methadone. On day 7 of the detox (if you can call it that), I took 10mg of methadone. Day 10 of the detox, I took 2mg subutex again, then 1mg on day 11. I haven't taken anything in the past week.

So now I'm on day 18 and my symptoms are really gone for the most part. It's not anything unbearable, but the PAWS are killing me. About two or three times a day I'll get hit with a wave where I can't stop stretching and yawning every three minutes. These waves each last about 2 hours and typically occur when i first wake up, towards the evening, and when im trying to go to bed. It's an absolute chore to get up and do something other than watch tv or read. I force myself to do a light workout everyday. I'm trying to stay away from situations that would lead me into scooping again, but that in itself is depressing. My relationships with like... 95% of my friends has absolutely plummeted. I know it's for the best, but it's depressing and lonely. I truly do want to get back to a better state in my life and I'm trying to make the steps to do so. But It's so hard to get up and go about my day.

I apologize for the length of this, but this is really the first time I've been able to vent about all of this. I'm just wondering when these symptoms (mainly the yawning and very subtle restlessness) will subside. I've looked up different people's stories, but I know each case is a bit different. So I'm hoping that someone with some experience similar to mine can provide some insight.

[Also, I have a legit prescription for xanax and adderall. Both of which i've stopped taking in-lieu of the detox. Will I ever be able to take these again without resetting any progress I've made?]

Thanks,
PurpleMonkeys
 
Honestly it sounds like you just have to keep moving forward and just power through it. As long as you haven't had problems misusing your other medications, taking them as prescribed is something you should really consider doing if they will help you keep moving in the right direction.

Other than abstinence from opioids, what else are you doing for your recovery?
 
Haha I figured that would be the case... Bleh. I suppose there's no getting around this process, though. I've never really misused any of my medications. Actually, I don't take them as much as they're prescribed. I just didn't want to be taking them and by doing so, prolong the healing phase of this recovery.

In regards to the recovery, I'm honestly not doing much... I've made an effort to keep out of situations that would be in the front of something. By doing that, I've kinda lost the majority of people I typically hang out with. I've been beating around the bush when it comes to going to an NA/AA meeting. I've got the local ones printed out and everything, I dunno why I'm hesitant to go.

What would you suggest to aid the process/recovery? This is my first full blown attempt to turn things around.
 
IMO your right there is no way that I am aware to skip the process, but fortunately there are many things we can do to make our time as pleasant and as short as possible, while also setting our future lives up to trump in spades.

Exercise causes the production and regulation of our neurotransmitters and promotes neuroplasticity and regeneration. It also promotes sleep and treats or cures anxiety and depression.

We also can change the way we think. Our experience in life is determined by our perception of life. Our perception of life is determined by our thoughts. We control/can learn to control our thoughts. So we control and determine our experience of life. TRUE.

PAWS LINKS
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Aerobic Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. The Endorphin Factory
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
exercise and sleep

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts positive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share Something Positive from Your Day vs. It's All Around You
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 4 Infinite Chances in an Amazing World
Daily Personal Affirmations Log Vs IM THE SHIT & NOT a piece a.. not playing me. NOPE
Managing depressive thinking

Here is the mindfulness thread.
Anhedonia MEGA Thread[/QUOTE]


Your doing great!! Most people pass through the paws between 6.5 to 9 months after cleaning up. You got that and will be very happy where you find yourself. ;)
 
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