Blahman:
Your posts remind me of this saying: if you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right. So, if you think you're not pathetic or if you think you're pathetic, you're right.
This following is my experience, strength, and hope.
It sounds as if you've manifested this self-born idea in your head that you're a loser. I bet if you asked your parents if they thought you were a loser, the answer would be anything but. I bet if you asked your close friends, once again, I bet the answer would be anything but.
Aside from the details of your age, living situation, etc., I think it might be helpful to start with your own mind and body. If you're anything like me, I (especially when I used to use) have negative self-talk quite often. I deal with people all day at my job and find myself saying "You moron, why'd you say that? That ain't you. God, now they're going to think this/that/the other thing about me. Man, I don't have enough money for my own place, what the fuck am I doing with my life. I'm a dipshit" and etc. If I let these thoughts run all day, they would. However, I am creating a false identity of who I am through my mostly negative thoughts.
If you're like me, your mind runs rampant through the day, jumping from topic to topic and seeking out unfulfilled dreams, aspirations, tasks, etc. and then freaking out about them. I go over past situations and call myself a dipshit for being there or doing that. I worry about future situations and how I will act. I worry not to come across as a loser. Quite simply, I worry too much.
The mind is a wonderful mechanism when used correctly. However, I would say most addicts/alcoholics like myself have a hard time containing it. The easiest escape to shut it down is to use.
I am within a month of one year of sobriety and let me tell you, drinking and drugging was not my problem. Granted, I rocked an ounce of cocaine every week and drank two pints a day when I wanted, but today my mind is my problem. All of my problems center from within it.
I now try to change negative self-talk into positive self-talk and exist only in the moment. The moment is all we have. There is no past (and it does not define who we are today) and the future will arrive when we are in that moment. I can do nothing about either, so I choose not to worry myself sick about the two.
I wonder if you had positive self-talk, such as I'm laid-back and don't really care about anything, just love life, if you would be so down on yourself. Maybe you would be this carefree, chill dude that people would envy.
When you think of yourself not having a job, don't let it start bringing tangents in with it like "I still live with my parents, I'm not going to school, I'm not doing anything in life." This is the mind wreaking destruction from within and will ultimately lead to a drink. Instead, search for the solution to one problem. I don't have a job... well, what can I do about it? I can start searching for one. I'll put some applications in and see where it takes me. Your mind will inundate you with negativity and make the world seem like there is no way out, no hope for you. It's great at doing it. When I am paralyzed by what ifs and what's going to happen, the fear is so great that I literally become comatose. I am scared to move, scared to even go outside. I don't feel like I know what to do. But, the great thing is I shouldn't know what to do. There is no script to life, no manual on how to live it. You live it as you live it and that's that.
If you're into reading, then you might enjoy The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It may be helpful.
Exist in the moment because that is all there is.
Much love.
but it is a textbook that I had for one of my psych classes and it has the power to give you amazing insight about yourself. It is extremely worth reading, especially if you are feeling down about life.