Partying with parents

[mindmaze24]

Hi, my name is Benjamin I'm from South Mississippi but now I reside in Washington state. Um, I was basically set up for failure by my parents. I'm 41, I started smoking weed with my dad arnd age 10 age 12 started snorting cocaine and meth along with ecstasy. Then came the opiate era which was a the devil in a bottle.So I've been a drug. Addict for 32 years now. Idk what was going through their mind when they decided it was OK to do drugs with your 19m0 yr old son. So, I was kicked outta school 9,10,11 grade, I spent 8 yrs in prison and life has been really unstable for aslongnas I can remember. I wish I could go back in time and tell them how fucked up it is to of done this to me at such a young age..like I said set me up for failure

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Hi, my name is Benjamin I'm from South Mississippi but now I reside in Washington state. Um, I was basically set up for failure by my parents. I'm 41, I started smoking weed with my dad arnd age 10 age 12 started snorting cocaine and meth along with mama and shoots. So I've been a drug. Addict for 32 years now. Idk what was going through their mind when they decided it was OK to do drugs with your 19m0 yr old son. So, I was kicked outta school 9,10,11 grade, I spent 8 yrs in prison and life has been really unstable for aslongnas I can remember. I wish I could go back in time and tell them how fucked up it is to of done this to me at such a young age..like I said set me up for failure

Welcome to BL mate

And that's not partying, it's plain abusive. Sorry you have experienced that, sounds like your Old's had lost the plot. Unfortunately we cannot go back in time, but we can go from now and try to make thinks as ok as we can

I've got high with my kids btw, but not until they were adults and not with hard drugs, hell no. I never turned them on to anything either - they'd been smoking cannabis for years beforehand

 

[Halif2]

Hey Mindmaze. Welcome to the Bluelight forums.

That was one hell of a failure on the part of your parents, holy shit. Are you still in touch with them?

 

[mal3volent]

Hi, my name is Benjamin I'm from South Mississippi but now I reside in Washington state. Um, I was basically set up for failure by my parents. I'm 41, I started smoking weed with my dad arnd age 10 age 12 started snorting cocaine and meth along with mama and shoots. So I've been a drug. Addict for 32 years now. Idk what was going through their mind when they decided it was OK to do drugs with your 19m0 yr old son. So, I was kicked outta school 9,10,11 grade, I spent 8 yrs in prison and life has been really unstable for aslongnas I can remember. I wish I could go back in time and tell them how fucked up it is to of done this to me at such a young age..like I said set me up for failure

I had the complete opposite experience, but definitely had friends who went through similar stuff.

I think it's like so many things in life. You can find people who had it a lot better than you and people who had it a lot worse. Not to minimize your story, just saying that zooming out and looking at the big picture helps sometimes.

Also (and I've thought about this a lot), our parents are just people like us. They are fucked up and imperfect like we are. In the case of mine, they were still basically kids when they had my brother and me. Had their own set of really tough circumstances.

Doesn't excuse some of the things we've had to go through but it helps give context and not feel so bitter about it. At least for me.

Welcome to BL @mindmaze24

 

[Coffeeshroom]

Hey bud and welcome.

That sounds like a messed up situation but it's never too late to get away from all that.

What is your current doc and if you need help or have any questions, shoot away. A lot of members on here to help plus I'm sure there are some that can relate.

I wish you the best for this year and maybe this year can be the 180 swing around you maybe need

 

[emkee_reinvented]

My house was a refuge, where we could smoke weed my ma was OK with it.

Smart otherwise i be on the streets with my friends out of sight.
She would have no knowledge about what we where interested in and doing.

And after we reached a certain age [18+ ?],
me and my friends she would at time part-take. And take a toke.
Hang with us a while.

 

[mindmaze24]

Hey Mindmaze. Welcome to the Bluelight forums.

That was one hell of a failure on the part of your parents, holy shit. Are you still in touch with them?

Umm, I dad haven't spoken in about 2 decades and my mom's she msg me on fb when she's got a buzz.

 

[mindmaze24]

I had the complete opposite experience, but definitely had friends who went through similar stuff.

I think it's like so many things in life. You can find people who had it a lot better than you and people who had it a lot worse. Not to minimize your story, just saying that zooming out and looking at the big picture helps sometimes.

Also (and I've thought about this a lot), our parents are just people like us. They are fucked up and imperfect like we are. In the case of mine, they were still basically kids when they had my brother and me. Had their own set of really tough circumstances.

Doesn't excuse some of the things we've had to go through but it helps give context and not feel so bitter about it. At least for me.

Welcome to BL @mindmaze24

Money wasn't an issue growing up, they gave me the reason of why a n d this is what I was actually told " I KNOW YOUR GOING TO DO IT AND WE'D RATHER YOU DO IT WITH US FIRST!! Like they was looking out for my well-being and had my best interest in mind"!!
O

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Welcome to BL mate

And that's not partying, it's plain abusive. Sorry you have experienced that, sounds like your Old's had lost the plot. Unfortunately we cannot go back in time, but we can go from now and try to make thinks as ok as we can

I've got high with my kids btw, but not until they were adults and not with hard drugs, hell no. I never turned them on to anything either - they'd been smoking cannabis for years beforehand

Parents wonder too ? do they have any clue.
My parents were kids when then conceived me,
split up before my birth, so don t even know my Dad.
Maybe he has become a Heroin junk for all i know.
Don t feel like he ever had a desire to see me.

To me incomprehensible, like exposing or giving your kid drugs.
Which is now a felony. Drinking/ smoking with kids present is.
Though doubt the Cops really practice it.
But even then what happened to you, plain abusive.
Friend of a friend was fed pills at 10, what ?
She told "about a jar of it on the table, BF of her mom said take some.
will make you feel good"

Wonder what else happened in that house
Sounded real unsafe. The Mother died in prison,
for drug trafficking at 50 +

As in the 70-ies, as kid, you grew up in smoke.
Weed fumes and between drunken adults.
My Mom with who i went home after the party,
scaring me with drunken behaviour on the way.

Did warn me to "Never shoot Heroine !".
But i got addicted to Alcohol, twice physically.
Still got its claw in me, she never warned me for that.
Which kinda shows the knowledge and morals of that time.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Hi, my name is Benjamin I'm from South Mississippi but now I reside in Washington state. Um, I was basically set up for failure by my parents. I'm 41, I started smoking weed with my dad arnd age 10 age 12 started snorting cocaine and meth along with ecstasy. Then came the opiate era which was a the devil in a bottle.So I've been a drug. Addict for 32 years now. Idk what was going through their mind when they decided it was OK to do drugs with your 19m0 yr old son. So, I was kicked outta school 9,10,11 grade, I spent 8 yrs in prison and life has been really unstable for aslongnas I can remember. I wish I could go back in time and tell them how fucked up it is to of done this to me at such a young age..like I said set me up for failure

Sorry for my vent, you probably don t need that, as re-reading your post.
That s a lot of shit you went through. Jail, i thought 17 days DETOX was tough.
Hope you kinda OK, stable roof over your head, in good physical health ?

Failure, maybe but whatever happened life experience is learning.
And levels above finishing school, have a wife and job.
Maybe you find your meaning in live, and then that life experience.
Will enable to handle things schooled payed people can t.

Hope anyone finds there path, me too

 

[mindmaze24]

I'll start from.the BEGINNING it'll shed alotta light...when I was 6 or 7 we had a horse riding stable, where ppl come Ren them and go trail riding, we'll we had a shit load of land and behinbou house there was a landing strip I remember going outside and waiting to hear the buzz of a prop plane when I'd hear it I'd see I in a minute or so it would cros directly over our house and get 30ft or so from.the ground and id see bales of things come outta the side door and it would gain altitude and fly away that happens almost daily then a truck would come get rhe bales and go to the horse stalls, one day I went into the feed building which was huge I seen about 20 pallets stacked about 4 ft high with kilo bricks and id see big bales of grass which I know now was pallets of cocaine and bales of weed, come to find out my dad was in the Dixie mafia, we'll on night h came flying into the house and said w had to go, we literally took nothing just got into the sun and drove to Centerville Alabama deep into the woods here a safe house was, and we lived there for 5 years, some things went wrong and ppl was coming o kill his family which was me,my mom and 2 sisters some one told him so we disappeared. Then when we got back is when they introduced me to drugs... so naturally I done what I seen and became a dealer and the Mississippi bears of narcotics kicked my door in and I got caught with 150 lbs of grass they gave me 12 yrs I done 8, when I got out I moved to Washington state, got my shit together took about 7 yrs and I taught myself how to trade stocks,forex,etc and but it's still hard to kick the meth been doing it for over 30 yrs but It doesn't get in my way

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Good to know you did get back on your feet again.
Quite some endurance, strenght and patience.
Much eassier on sentences in Holland, but being locked up.
17 days felt long.

Stimulants can t live without em either,
but the form i get 5 mg Dex-Amphetamine tablets are easy to deal with.
For one they only work oral and are not euphoric in excess,
like snorted racemic. [personal chemestry ?]

They do go nice with Pot though good balance.
Wonder if Meth ever gets foot on Dutch ground,
besides via DNM. There rumors going around on Bluelight.
About the intro of Meth to to North/ South/ West EU & UK.

 

[Stephy]

Hi, my name is Benjamin I'm from South Mississippi but now I reside in Washington state. Um, I was basically set up for failure by my parents. I'm 41, I started smoking weed with my dad arnd age 10 age 12 started snorting cocaine and meth along with ecstasy. Then came the opiate era which was a the devil in a bottle.So I've been a drug. Addict for 32 years now. Idk what was going through their mind when they decided it was OK to do drugs with your 19m0 yr old son. So, I was kicked outta school 9,10,11 grade, I spent 8 yrs in prison and life has been really unstable for aslongnas I can remember. I wish I could go back in time and tell them how fucked up it is to of done this to me at such a young age..like I said set me up for failure

I'm so sorry and so sorry your education ex thrown away. let me introduce myself I'm Stephanie the college convert. my Nanny was a college algebra teacher so we were instilled before conception to go to college. let me try to convince you into higher education.... if nothing but for the ridiculous amounts of financial aid you can get...if you're still able. you are kind, you are smart, you are strong, you are able! repeat with me. I am kind, I am smart, I am strong, I am able! please be my friend and connect with me if if let's us. I'm still new to this. if college is completely out of reach there are trade schools. you will be great!

I probably am talking about nothing you want to hear about and maybe you did great and I missed it above. I'm in a major pain flare so it's hard for me to read everything. But when I can I will read more thanks to talk to text I can do this much.

 

[Stephy]

I'll start from.the BEGINNING it'll shed alotta light...when I was 6 or 7 we had a horse riding stable, where ppl come Ren them and go trail riding, we'll we had a shit load of land and behinbou house there was a landing strip I remember going outside and waiting to hear the buzz of a prop plane when I'd hear it I'd see I in a minute or so it would cros directly over our house and get 30ft or so from.the ground and id see bales of things come outta the side door and it would gain altitude and fly away that happens almost daily then a truck would come get rhe bales and go to the horse stalls, one day I went into the feed building which was huge I seen about 20 pallets stacked about 4 ft high with kilo bricks and id see big bales of grass which I know now was pallets of cocaine and bales of weed, come to find out my dad was in the Dixie mafia, we'll on night h came flying into the house and said w had to go, we literally took nothing just got into the sun and drove to Centerville Alabama deep into the woods here a safe house was, and we lived there for 5 years, some things went wrong and ppl was coming o kill his family which was me,my mom and 2 sisters some one told him so we disappeared. Then when we got back is when they introduced me to drugs... so naturally I done what I seen and became a dealer and the Mississippi bears of narcotics kicked my door in and I got caught with 150 lbs of grass they gave me 12 yrs I done 8, when I got out I moved to Washington state, got my shit together took about 7 yrs and I taught myself how to trade stocks,forex,etc and but it's still hard to kick the meth been doing it for over 30 yrs but It doesn't get in my way

Maybe you can teach me how to do stocks if you're willing

 

[Chickens]

Jeez, that's fucked. As a former heavy drug user and parent of children, I could NEVER imagine giving my kids drugs. I might consider smoking some weed, if legal, when they are of age, but hard drugs to your kids is disgusting.

It sounds like you know what kind of person you want to be. Yes, you were set up for failure, but that doesn't mean you have to fail.