Why stay with aelyssa?
One of the reasons I felt that Aelyssa and I complemented each other is because we came from family backgrounds of physical and intellectual poverty. When I met her, she was trying to improve herself and get away from bad influences. She had moved away and gotten an education. She was exercising, watching her weight, working on her hobbies, reading, and working. I had done and was doing the same with my life. I thought I understood her.
After she moved in with me, she changed. The changes were gradual. She did not try to get a job. She did not help me pay the rent on the house we lived in which she had agreed to do. Almost immediately, she used her father’s allowance to buy a television and spent most of the day sitting in front of that television. I had never owned one and had not watched it since I moved out of my parents’ house. The way she spent her time was alarming. She stopped exercising, reading, and learning new subjects. I did not like to tell her about my work day because I do not like to talk about work and my research when I am not in the lab. I prefer to think about other things at home. If not, I would have married another research scientist. We ran out of things to talk about. She complained and started a fight whenever I listened to my stereo. She has extremely good hearing, yet hates listening to any kind of music other than pop.
She had two cats and overfed both of them. She drank. The cats got fat. She got fat. She stopped bathing daily, and I could not stand her body odor and spunk. She was always mad at me. She concluded the reason I didn’t want to have sex with her was because I was a closet gay.
She had no obligations and nobody was forcing her to do anything during the four years we lived together. She did nothing for four years. A four year vacation in the prime of your life is a luxury. I can only dream about what I would have accomplished during four years had I not been in the lab 80 hours a week. Instead of trying to improve herself, start her own business, learn new subjects, write a novel, learn an art or craft, etc ete c etcd etc etc, she was turning into my parents.
Disney
Every year, she does with her family to spend a week at the Disneyland park. They stay at one of the hotels in the park. I’ve never seen the hotels at the park in California, but the hotels at Disney in Paris are modeled after them. They are resort hotels with swimming pools, bars, restaurants, ball rooms, boutiques and concierge services. They are expensive, and huge, having more than 1000 rooms. Her father made a lot of money with a contracting business and pays for everybody else to go on the trip.
Meltdown
Despite the generosity and the comfortable surroundings, meltdowns from the scale of an argument all the way to a Jerry Spring brawl happen several times a day. Some of them are jealous of each other and quarrel about who receives the biggest welfare or disability payment. Those who have access gossip about it on Facebook. There are also toddler outbursts and constant behavior problems from the older children. Sometimes there are injuries. Most of them are minor like sunburns, dehydration, heat exhaustion, and vomiting from the roller coasters.
Over the day, her father gradually becomes surly and eventually shouts ENOUGH GODDAMMIT! He walks away from the gathering and hides in his room.
Afterwards, she comes back with bags of Disney souveniers: Mickey mouse ears, Goofy hats, mugs, tee shirts, invisible dog leashes, stickers, bags of Disney-branded coffee, Disney branded chocolates.
Every year it was some variant of this. I cannot psychologically handle such family gatherings. Her family is especially hard for me to tolerate, maybe because I understand them too well - my own family was intolerable. They were similar in some ways, and I went to college to get escape. I would never subject somebody I cared about to them. These are just the highlights that I remember. To me, these family outings are a form of birth control.
It is because of families like this that I am convinced the movie Idiocracy is prophetic. I read somewhere that the movie is a documentary made by time travellers from the future to warn us. I’ve done my part and gotten a vasectomy.
I met her family for the first time at a similar large gathering. The day after, I called a clinic and made an appointment for the surgery. The timing of the vasectomy seemed to upset Aelyssa. The night I met her, I told her that I was not going to have children, and I asked her if she understood that I meant it. So I didn’t understand why she was upset. She promised that not all of her family is like this and said I have only met the bad ones. Some on her mother’s side have college degrees. One owns a successful rice mill in Mississippi. Besides Uncle Bob and Aunt Nidia, I’ve only met her father’s relatives. She tried to talk me out of the operation, but I went through with it.
Disney is okay for children. I visited when I was 7 years old and loved it. When you need to budget your time, it’s not a priority. Neither is spending time with family members I do not like. My work year in the US was 60-80 hours a week with 10 vacation days each year. I would get fired if I used more than five. The trip she wants takes two weeks including travel and preparation. She wants to ride the Splash Mountain ride. I liked Splash mountain when I was a little kid. Nowadays, I prefer whitewater rafting down rapids in a river in the wilderness. She likes Space Mountain. I prefer to modify the engine of my motorcycle and ride it 200 mph on a bumpy road. She likes hte Pirates of the Caribe. I prefer to travel to a former remote pirate island or coastline and camp on the beach. Why see a disney musical hen you can go to see an opera?
Aelyssa has told me many times “love me love my family” meaning that I need to spend my vacation time with her doing what she has decided we will do during my five to ten days off per year. Of all the things to do and places to go, she always chose to spend my five days of vacation with her family, Uncle Bob, the Bubbas, and everybody else.
One of the reasons I felt that Aelyssa and I complemented each other is because we came from family backgrounds of physical and intellectual poverty. When I met her, she was trying to improve herself and get away from bad influences. She had moved away and gotten an education. She was exercising, watching her weight, working on her hobbies, reading, and working. I had done and was doing the same with my life. I thought I understood her.
After she moved in with me, she changed. The changes were gradual. She did not try to get a job. She did not help me pay the rent on the house we lived in which she had agreed to do. Almost immediately, she used her father’s allowance to buy a television and spent most of the day sitting in front of that television. I had never owned one and had not watched it since I moved out of my parents’ house. The way she spent her time was alarming. She stopped exercising, reading, and learning new subjects. I did not like to tell her about my work day because I do not like to talk about work and my research when I am not in the lab. I prefer to think about other things at home. If not, I would have married another research scientist. We ran out of things to talk about. She complained and started a fight whenever I listened to my stereo. She has extremely good hearing, yet hates listening to any kind of music other than pop.
She had two cats and overfed both of them. She drank. The cats got fat. She got fat. She stopped bathing daily, and I could not stand her body odor and spunk. She was always mad at me. She concluded the reason I didn’t want to have sex with her was because I was a closet gay.
She had no obligations and nobody was forcing her to do anything during the four years we lived together. She did nothing for four years. A four year vacation in the prime of your life is a luxury. I can only dream about what I would have accomplished during four years had I not been in the lab 80 hours a week. Instead of trying to improve herself, start her own business, learn new subjects, write a novel, learn an art or craft, etc ete c etcd etc etc, she was turning into my parents.
Disney
Every year, she does with her family to spend a week at the Disneyland park. They stay at one of the hotels in the park. I’ve never seen the hotels at the park in California, but the hotels at Disney in Paris are modeled after them. They are resort hotels with swimming pools, bars, restaurants, ball rooms, boutiques and concierge services. They are expensive, and huge, having more than 1000 rooms. Her father made a lot of money with a contracting business and pays for everybody else to go on the trip.
Meltdown
Despite the generosity and the comfortable surroundings, meltdowns from the scale of an argument all the way to a Jerry Spring brawl happen several times a day. Some of them are jealous of each other and quarrel about who receives the biggest welfare or disability payment. Those who have access gossip about it on Facebook. There are also toddler outbursts and constant behavior problems from the older children. Sometimes there are injuries. Most of them are minor like sunburns, dehydration, heat exhaustion, and vomiting from the roller coasters.
Over the day, her father gradually becomes surly and eventually shouts ENOUGH GODDAMMIT! He walks away from the gathering and hides in his room.
Afterwards, she comes back with bags of Disney souveniers: Mickey mouse ears, Goofy hats, mugs, tee shirts, invisible dog leashes, stickers, bags of Disney-branded coffee, Disney branded chocolates.
Every year it was some variant of this. I cannot psychologically handle such family gatherings. Her family is especially hard for me to tolerate, maybe because I understand them too well - my own family was intolerable. They were similar in some ways, and I went to college to get escape. I would never subject somebody I cared about to them. These are just the highlights that I remember. To me, these family outings are a form of birth control.
It is because of families like this that I am convinced the movie Idiocracy is prophetic. I read somewhere that the movie is a documentary made by time travellers from the future to warn us. I’ve done my part and gotten a vasectomy.
I met her family for the first time at a similar large gathering. The day after, I called a clinic and made an appointment for the surgery. The timing of the vasectomy seemed to upset Aelyssa. The night I met her, I told her that I was not going to have children, and I asked her if she understood that I meant it. So I didn’t understand why she was upset. She promised that not all of her family is like this and said I have only met the bad ones. Some on her mother’s side have college degrees. One owns a successful rice mill in Mississippi. Besides Uncle Bob and Aunt Nidia, I’ve only met her father’s relatives. She tried to talk me out of the operation, but I went through with it.
Disney is okay for children. I visited when I was 7 years old and loved it. When you need to budget your time, it’s not a priority. Neither is spending time with family members I do not like. My work year in the US was 60-80 hours a week with 10 vacation days each year. I would get fired if I used more than five. The trip she wants takes two weeks including travel and preparation. She wants to ride the Splash Mountain ride. I liked Splash mountain when I was a little kid. Nowadays, I prefer whitewater rafting down rapids in a river in the wilderness. She likes Space Mountain. I prefer to modify the engine of my motorcycle and ride it 200 mph on a bumpy road. She likes hte Pirates of the Caribe. I prefer to travel to a former remote pirate island or coastline and camp on the beach. Why see a disney musical hen you can go to see an opera?
Aelyssa has told me many times “love me love my family” meaning that I need to spend my vacation time with her doing what she has decided we will do during my five to ten days off per year. Of all the things to do and places to go, she always chose to spend my five days of vacation with her family, Uncle Bob, the Bubbas, and everybody else.
