Part 3- The Goddess takes a little part of my pain.

I don't want to do anything- I don't want to clean my house, make dinner, or do ANYTHING.
I just want to lay in bed and stare atthe wall.I have been trying to force myself.
I walked the beach, I did a couple loads of laundry, some dishes and went to town to get food and this journal.
Kassi bought me a dozen roses when I miscarried and Andrew put them on the dresser next to the bed for me.
I stared at those roses for I don't know how many hours.There was one of every color.
They were beautiful.
A few days ago she told me someone was walking the beach and saw rose petals in the water and on shore and thought it was me.I told her I was far too selfish to give them up. Today I decided that I stared atthem so long, pouring my sorrow into them, that I would give them to the ocean.
I walked over and did my own thing, saying what I felt, and it was like letting go of my grief.
In a small way.
There is still so much inside but hopefully with the help of the ocean and this journal, I can begin to let go.

 

...

Wow. I could only have the barest inkling of how tough it would be to miscarry in the best of circumstances, but when you've been trying for that long-- including fertility treatments-- to get pregnant... that's just heartbreaking.

Thank you for sharing that ocean. Catharsis comes in many forms, and I'm glad that you were able to find a way to help shed a bit of your grief.

 

you are such a strong and powerful woman. I can't use mere words...

brightest of blessings, ocean

 

Thank you both.......

 

Thank you so much for sharing these entries with us. It's amazing what journaling/blogging can do for someone, especially after an experience like this.

You'll make a wonderful mother someday.

 

{{hugs}}