I’m often surprised how friendly and open people are here. Maybe it is the Mediterranean culture. Here, you can tell people you are a scientist and they want to talk about science. Mention the last book you read and they talk about literature. Then somebody invites you over for dinner instead of shunning you.
With the exception of college campus life, the only way to have a social life in a lot of places seems to be to flash money or to watch football as a social activity. I would tell people that I am a research scientist (long hours, mentally demanding, low pay) or talk about a book I read and people would comment that they thought I was homeless. The only person anybody wanted to be friends with was Hedge Fund Guy, the Professional Athlete, or the Banker. The most common topic of conversation is last night’s professional sports game.
They ask: “What sports do you like?”
I say, “I love sports. I love running and mountain climbing and volleyball in the backyard or on the beach with friends.”
Response: “Yeah I used to [run, ride a bicycle, swim, ski, etc] in college, but I don’t have time any more. I got a job, [or if they are older than 30, they got married, had kids, got fat, got divorced, pay alimony, hurt their back or knees, etc] and now I don’t have time any more. What’s your favorite team? How about those Giants?”
-“I don’t have a TV and don’t watch sports, but I like the Brooklyn Dodgers.”
When I was a kid, I had a neighbor, “Paul,” who used to play baseball for the Brooklyn Dodgers. He played second base and some other positions. I used to go to the park and find him, and he’d tell me baseball stories. He was from another generation that didn’t have all of the barriers and hoops to jump through that many YUPPIES of our time require before they associate with you.
I didn’t watch TV or read about professional sports and the topic never came up when talking to Paul so I had no idea the Brooklyn Dodgers had left Brooklyn.
-Somebody then said the Brooklyn Dodgers had moved and are no longer in Brooklyn.
-Well, I don’t keep up with sports.
-Then they say: but you say you like sports but you don’t watch sports? How can you say you like sports?
-Why would i sit around watching somebody else have all the fun when I could be outside having fun too?
By this point in the conversation, I am ignoring them, and I am thinking about what I want to do tomorrow or the book I’m reading. Maybe they have told me the new home of the Brooklyn Dodgers, but it never registered. Within a few minutes, I have erased from my memory most of what we talked about. I have forgotten their name and face. That was the US, and I have left that place.
Before I came here, I had spent the year in a cabin mostly off the grid in the desert. I was alone except for the company of my pet cats Mr. Bradley Cat and Walter Kitten, and I prefered it that way. Besides my hobby of telepathy, I have been out of practice of communicating with and being around other people.
Not long after moving here, I started trying to be social to make friends. My French is still horrible, so I tend to go where English is spoken. English is the most common language among non-French residents whether they are from Asia, the Americas, the Middle East, or from other parts of Europe.
For a social activity, I now run with a jogging club. It had to be a club where people speak English sometimes. Anything meeting this requirement is usually made of expats. A large proportion of the members of the jogging club work at embassies, NGOs, and other international organisations - the jogging club is very international. Besides myself, there is one other American.
It’s a typical Sunday morning run kind of club. We usually move at an easy jog for an hour, do some cool-down stretches, then finish by having lunch or drinks at a café.
One reason I like this group is that they are very educated and well-rounded. Many have witnessed historical events, have advanced degrees in the arts and humanities, archeology, and history. Some of them are from the oil or finance industries too which don’t interest me any more than talking to other neuroscientists.
My co-workers at the Institut and Sorbonne are also very educated, but they are all neuroscientists. Except for one or two, seeing them outside of work makes me feel like I am still at work. I don’t like to talk about work when I’m not at work.
With the exception of college campus life, the only way to have a social life in a lot of places seems to be to flash money or to watch football as a social activity. I would tell people that I am a research scientist (long hours, mentally demanding, low pay) or talk about a book I read and people would comment that they thought I was homeless. The only person anybody wanted to be friends with was Hedge Fund Guy, the Professional Athlete, or the Banker. The most common topic of conversation is last night’s professional sports game.
They ask: “What sports do you like?”
I say, “I love sports. I love running and mountain climbing and volleyball in the backyard or on the beach with friends.”
Response: “Yeah I used to [run, ride a bicycle, swim, ski, etc] in college, but I don’t have time any more. I got a job, [or if they are older than 30, they got married, had kids, got fat, got divorced, pay alimony, hurt their back or knees, etc] and now I don’t have time any more. What’s your favorite team? How about those Giants?”
-“I don’t have a TV and don’t watch sports, but I like the Brooklyn Dodgers.”
When I was a kid, I had a neighbor, “Paul,” who used to play baseball for the Brooklyn Dodgers. He played second base and some other positions. I used to go to the park and find him, and he’d tell me baseball stories. He was from another generation that didn’t have all of the barriers and hoops to jump through that many YUPPIES of our time require before they associate with you.
I didn’t watch TV or read about professional sports and the topic never came up when talking to Paul so I had no idea the Brooklyn Dodgers had left Brooklyn.
-Somebody then said the Brooklyn Dodgers had moved and are no longer in Brooklyn.
-Well, I don’t keep up with sports.
-Then they say: but you say you like sports but you don’t watch sports? How can you say you like sports?
-Why would i sit around watching somebody else have all the fun when I could be outside having fun too?
By this point in the conversation, I am ignoring them, and I am thinking about what I want to do tomorrow or the book I’m reading. Maybe they have told me the new home of the Brooklyn Dodgers, but it never registered. Within a few minutes, I have erased from my memory most of what we talked about. I have forgotten their name and face. That was the US, and I have left that place.
Before I came here, I had spent the year in a cabin mostly off the grid in the desert. I was alone except for the company of my pet cats Mr. Bradley Cat and Walter Kitten, and I prefered it that way. Besides my hobby of telepathy, I have been out of practice of communicating with and being around other people.
Not long after moving here, I started trying to be social to make friends. My French is still horrible, so I tend to go where English is spoken. English is the most common language among non-French residents whether they are from Asia, the Americas, the Middle East, or from other parts of Europe.
For a social activity, I now run with a jogging club. It had to be a club where people speak English sometimes. Anything meeting this requirement is usually made of expats. A large proportion of the members of the jogging club work at embassies, NGOs, and other international organisations - the jogging club is very international. Besides myself, there is one other American.
It’s a typical Sunday morning run kind of club. We usually move at an easy jog for an hour, do some cool-down stretches, then finish by having lunch or drinks at a café.
One reason I like this group is that they are very educated and well-rounded. Many have witnessed historical events, have advanced degrees in the arts and humanities, archeology, and history. Some of them are from the oil or finance industries too which don’t interest me any more than talking to other neuroscientists.
My co-workers at the Institut and Sorbonne are also very educated, but they are all neuroscientists. Except for one or two, seeing them outside of work makes me feel like I am still at work. I don’t like to talk about work when I’m not at work.