parents making you feel like shit for drug use

[jones-in_J]

So im wondering who hhas had similar experiences and/or insight from those who got thru similar problems withouth getting high

I know a lot of people from the outside would write me saying this as just an excuse to get high and that im exagerating. But if anyone walked in my shoes for a day youd know its no exageration-- my dad is one of the few people who understands because he left my mom for how crazy she is

Anyway, whenever i decide to try to get clean my mom knows the perfect things to say to keep me down and make me feel like shit... which in turn makes me wwnt to say fuck it

I know that its a bad excuse and definately not a good reason to continue getting high.. if i could stay off drugs i could
Afford my own place and get away from her

For example yesterday i made the very big step to delete my drug contacts in mt phone... even when i was doing well not fucjing up all the time i held the reservation that i wouldnt delete my contacts.. well i send her a message trying to open up and talk to her amd get two messages back.. one saying im the only stress in her life and have always made her life miserable and another saying that she wanta to scream every time i go outside to smoke a cig since i owe her rent money. She literally acts like shes more interested in me quitting cigs then heroin and its crazy

 

[rangrz]

Long ago, I learned that the simple opinions of anyone are valueless. What matters is to see if their argument is valid and sound.

 

[Mayonaise812]

My mom kicked me out and made my life a living hell for smoking weed when i was 18... she drank about 10 beers a night so i didnt pay much attention to it and made her feel extremely guilty about her drinking. she calmed down after like 2 years though.

 

[ish675]

Shit, yes. My parents are the same way. My parents have contributed quite a bit to my shitty life. It sucks dude, I feel your pain, its confusing. If I had any advice to give I wouldn't be in the same situation either. They tell me they care all the time but do NOTHING to help and normally make it worse. I feel you on that cigarette shit tho, every time I go smoke I catch a whole rack of shit from them.

 

[jones-in_J]

Shit, yes. My parents are the same way. My parents have contributed quite a bit to my shitty life. It sucks dude, I feel your pain, its confusing. If I had any advice to give I wouldn't be in the same situation either. They tell me they care all the time but do NOTHING to help and normally make it worse. I feel you on that cigarette shit tho, every time I go smoke I catch a whole rack of shit from them.

Yea man its bullshit

On a lighter note it took me a minute to realize what your avatar is haha. First i thought penis with view directly from the front? Then i thought no maybe its an asshole. Tjen i realized i think its a red/stoned eye haha

Maybe im just fucked up in the head to see the other stuff first though lmao

 

[Bill]

Not trying to be a dick or anything but have you ever thought about how your parents feel or put yourself in there position?
Yeah maybe they don't say the right things all the time at your convenience but I bet they've stressed it previously about how much they care about you and your well being, after trying to tell an addict the same thing, after the 100th time it gets to be annoying, ya know?

And trust me I know how you feel also, I'm not trying to sound condescending or anything, I just have lived both sides of the coin and agree it is hard either way. Dealing with an addict can be the most stressful thing ever for someone and being an addict, well we all know how shitty that is

My advice to both of you though is to try to kick the addiction first off and that's when you can begin to build a life of your own and get out of mom and dad's house...

 

[junkieman412]

For me its pretty tough because a lot of people in my life think i get high out of selfishness. My mom included even though my dad is an alcoholic. They think im content with wasting my life away and hurting everyone around me. Nothing could be further from the truth i feel tremendous guilt when i relapse. My mom has read up on addiction but even then non addicts just cant understand what its like.
Ive been doind the shit for a long time, like many of us i was hooked and well into the lifestyle before i was old enough to know what i was getting into. Its cost me everything and it hurts to fail time and time again.

 

[Missykins]

You have to realize that as a heroin addict, you have violated your parent's trust repeatedly, which is probably where her anger is coming from. You regain their trust through your actions, not your words. Having said that, I don't condone what your mother said to you. You might want to suggest to her that she attend AlAnon meetings where she can vent in a safe place. Also, you might consider family therapy. I went through that while I was in rehab, and it was a bitch, but helpful in the end. You should also talk to your sponsor (if you don't have one, get one) because these are the exact issues that your sponsor will be familiar with.

And whatever you do, don't use, no matter what!

PS Congrats to you for erasing your contacts.

 

[ish675]

Yea man its bullshit

On a lighter note it took me a minute to realize what your avatar is haha. First i thought penis with view directly from the front? Then i thought no maybe its an asshole. Tjen i realized i think its a red/stoned eye haha

Maybe im just fucked up in the head to see the other stuff first though lmao

Actually its a papaver somniferium flower, Opium poppy.

 

[rangrz]

Actually its a papaver somniferium flower, Opium poppy.

But the style of it is idenctical to that of the Commonwealth[moar like Canada only] Remembrance Day poppy that the legions/veterns groups sell to raise funds around remembrance day.

On topic: As I said at the start of the thread, someone's opinion in of it self means nothing about reality. That said, I can understand some of the feelings that having someone you love as addict can raise. Like I don't have kids so I don't know what that is like; but my GF and best friend are both addicts, and it can make me sad and worried. I don't want to lose them, I don't want to see them do stuff that harms them, even tho I do exactly the same stuff they do, I still rag on them to cut down or be safer etc. It is just that feeling of wanting to protect someone you love.

 

[ish675]

I have a bunch of the "buddy poppies" from memorial day in the headliner of my car. I love the history of the poppy, opium given to wounded and dying soldiers. I always brought up drug history back in high school and was always shut down. Like it or not its a HUGE part of human history.

 

[It's a baby!]

Man it can be really hard to deal with difficult parents. Honestly it's best to just cognitively block her out if she's having such a negative influence on you. That can be hard to do, because of course a big part of you loves her, but if the things she's saying are bothering you this much, you need to make up your mind to ignore her for a bit. That doesn't mean you can't still be civil and still love her but just don't take what she says too seriously.

That's hard advice to follow though, I can relate to what you're going through.

 

[Foreigner]

It's a tough one to flat out judge parents. They are full of their own faults because they are human, so it's easy to point out hypocrisy; but because you are their child, they are going to worry about what you are doing and use different methods to get you to change what they perceive to be self-destructive behaviour. They'll do this even if they are also self-destructive. IMO it's the parenting instinct mixing with other factors gone awry.

If your parents are psycho and abusive then I would just disregard their judgments of your life since they are too fucked up to really give you proper guidance; but if they are more or less okay but maybe not approaching you in the way you like, then you need to make it clear you don't accept their approach. Parents are seldom perfect, but keep in mind that maybe what you're doing is truly worrying them and their actions, deep down, come from loving you.