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Parents don't support me giving my boyfriend a second chance

  • Thread starter Thread starter Anonymous021194
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Anonymous021194

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Okay long story short, my boyfriend and I live together and the past few months our relationship has deteriorated. We argue to much. He can be very critical and mean, and I can get attitudes. The past two times we've fought I've left and went to my parents. While there I've hysterically vented about everything my boyfriend does wrong, without including my issues at all, which is what most people do when venting I suppose... But, because of this my parents think he's a straight up jerk. A few days ago we got into a very intense argument and I'd had enough so I packed my bags and left. I honestly wish I'd hadn't and I just stayed and worked through it, because now my parents are under the impression that I'm permanently back home when all I think me and my boyfriend need is a week or two break to really evaluate our issues and work through them. We are both very old faisioned in the belief that if you truly love someone, you work through your issues for them. I mean he even agreed to going to relationship counseling. But now, my parents can't stand him. I know once I break the news to them they'll tell me I'm stupid and making a mistake, and I mean they do have valid points about his issues, but they are biased to my issues because of my venting (which I truly regret doing now lol) and the fact that I'm there daughter. I don't know how to handle this situation! Help!
 
I think this has to do with parents having more experience with this sort of thing so they can (usually) see where this is going. Ignore them, learn it hard way and then tell them they were right later on down the road.
 
It isn't wrong for your parents to want the best for you. Put yourself in their shoes. They have to listen to you talk about all the bad stuff he's done. Then you keep going back to him because you can't be without the guy. Next time you quarrel, try going to a hotel. Save your parents the drama. You also might try reading up on codependency.
 
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How old are you? Just asking because that would make a pretty big difference when it comes to how much your parents' opinion actually matters.

I agree with T. Calderone. Don't go to their place next time, go to a hotel or a friend's.

If you truly believe this guy is the right one for you, then just ignore what your parents have to say about him. It's your business in the end, not theirs. I hope you do see that they only mean well for you though :)
 
Yeah, how old are you? And how long have you two been dating?

I mean - if it's getting to the point where you're moving out regularly, or heck even once, that is not good! I've lived with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I have NEVER thought about moving out. If we have a problem, we talk about it, and we work things out. I think it is rather immature to just leave. Especially multiple times. Seems like you have communication issues?
 
Listen to your parents, your mum probably dated a similar douche for far too long when she was your age and your dad was a guy so knows they are usually self centred cunts until they grow some sense. Some never do.

Life is too short to waste in any relationship where your first description is "We argue too much".
 
^ i hate to say it; but i agree with this guy.

and the older you get; the less tolerant you get towards accepting the notion that "this is as good as it gets".

and start searching for something more. better suited.

...kytnism...:|
 
I also agree. It sometimes isn't easy to disengage from a toxic relationship.

My impression is that you are both young, and are now going through it.

Live and learn.

:)
 
If your young and considering relationship counseling, you might want to consider breaking up. If you have to ask if its a good relationship its probly not. Honestly I think its good to date around a bit before you get in relationships. I still have not found the right partner but I have dodged what could have been marraige to many women that were not good for me.
 
^That's a good point. IMO relationship counselling should only be considered if you're engaged/married (because in that case clearly you're pretty sure/have been pretty sure it's a relationship worth fighting for)...otherwise more often than not it's just a clear sign it's not gonna work out. It's for you to decide whether he's really worth it.
 
Grow the hell up. Listen to your parents. Most people from the outside reading this know theres a near 100 pct chance your boyfriend is indeed a major asshole.

If you're going to keep up with this immature back and forth now we work out now we don't attitude at least make sure you're responsible for yourself. Stop being a burden to your parents and bringing them trouble moving in and out of the house. I'm sure they don't mind because they love you but keeping this stuff up is just shitty. If you're gonna do it at least get your own place to move to when you break up with him again. Then it will be you and not other people suffering the consequences of your dysfunctional and immature relationship.
 
One Thousand Words said:
Listen to your parents, your mum probably dated a similar douche for far too long when she was your age and your dad was a guy so knows they are usually self centred cunts until they grow some sense. Some never do.

Life is too short to waste in any relationship where your first description is "We argue too much".
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Quoted for truth. Of course every couple argues. When the arguments become the focus of the relationship, though, it's a sign that it's time to do something differently. Sometimes that means moving on to be single for a bit.

My father is my best friend and would not hear of me going to a hotel out of being driven from my own home by a disgruntled boyfriend. I don't live at home and I haven't since I graduated high school, 15 years ago. I have definitely stayed at his house when my relationships faltered rather than spending money that could be better allocated on a hotel. You're not being immature IMO. It's your relationship, it's your decision. Do something to improve it even if it means dumping your dude.
 
Off the top of my head I have had almost ten serious relationships and Im almost 30. If I had married any of them it would have ended in divorce. The only way to grow is to date a bit. Remember that game toddlers play where there is two blocks and two holes. One hole and block are a circle and the other pair are square and you can only put the circle in the circle and the square in the square and the kid would have to be the incredible hulk for anything different to happen. Yeah its a metaphor.
 
T. Calderone said:
It isn't wrong for your parents to want the best for you. Put yourself in their shoes. They have to listen to you talk about all the bad stuff he's done. Then you keep going back to him because you can't be without the guy. Next time you quarrel, try going to a hotel. Save your parents the drama. You also might try reading up on codependency.
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this!

do they need to hear about it and be in the middle all the time- of course they dont want you with him after all you have said. dragging them into things has gotten them involved and that's something you have actively done yourself

if you are splitting up on a regular basis what does that tell you?
 
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