Paranoia Are they really after me?

[xxsicknessxx]

Some you might of read posts by me before, if you remember me you know I have had some crazy things happen to me.
Well.. here we are now.

I have lost my job.... been out work awhile, im parnorid and im clean and sober.Normaly I get clean it lasts a month maybe then goes away but this time it isn't going away in fact in some ways its worse.

I went to a doctor to get help and he didn't help. He really just told me that if someone is after you (maybe its real maybe it isn't) he said that he can only treat the symptoms he can't fix the problem because he doesn't know what the problem is only what symptoms I tell him.

Thing is I know the things I think don't make sense. I talk to my family friends and everyone says same thing.
Your wrong, you sound crazy, don't say that, were tired you saying that.. yada yada

Common sense says something wrong but my aproach to solve my problems hasn't worked I just don't know what else to try anymore.
I really worry now my family and the people I live around are the ones posining me and messing with my life and my things. Thing is I can't see how people could do it.. if they did and I caught them they would be in serious trouble. You can't mess with peoples stuff, you can't just torture people mentally for no reason.

No one ever says anything to me, everyone acts nice to me.. I just have then unending worry the world hates me....


I guess the question is simple. Are they really after me? Does that happen? What do you do? If your feeling like your being followed or watched what do you do? If you think someone is after you what do you do? (get away from them ?) I must repeat this no one has ever once told me I was right on any of my questions. But what else can I do? I want to return to a normal life school, or work.. or at least some sort of social life again.. I feel my self retreating more and more from society because of my paranoia but the thing is I know people hate paranoid people, I know retreating away is the worst thing to do... that if I show im paranoid people are gona wonder why and think either I got something to hide or im on drugs which im not..

so what do I do? what would you do?

Its like I can't except that everyone could be involved in a conspiracy to get me (yet my brain says there all out to get me)
My mind conflicts with what I see...

What do you think if the people you trust are messing with you mentally, and psychically and tampering with your stuff?
(but have 0 proof) no one admits anything

 

[Missykins]

I do think that you are ill and I would see a new doctor, a psychiatrist. I don't know your family, so I cannot comment on their intentions, but to me you sound paranoid (no judgment). It's one thing to think that one person is after you, but it's an entirely different thing when you believe entire groups are after you.

 

[RobotRipping]

there's probably some emotions and feelings that are driving the paranoia, possibly some past experiences. I think it would be helpful to sort through these things with a therapist. A regular doctor isn't going to be much help IME.

I've been there though and it's irrational but yet you can't help feeling that way. Would it help to actually just say fuck it and let them get you? Challenge the paranoia instead of constantly running from it. Paranoia has a way of reinforcing itself, like the fact that you cannot possibly prove that people aren't out to get you but that's part of the paranoia, you just can't know these things. Instead, it would be easier just to accept that you cannot know these things one way or the other, if people are out to get you then fine, let them get you, destroy you, ruin you, it is better than living in fear of it.

You could also try just to force yourself to believe that everything is fine and try to be logical and sensible about how likely these things you are experiencing really are. Even if you feel that it is not fine and bad things will happen, eventually the tide will turn and you will feel differently.

i think a lot of these feelings are based on the unpredictability of other people (can't get inside their heads to know for sure), it's not something you can control though. As well, if you just quit drugs and have lost your job recently, then the stress of such a situation is probably increasing your paranoia,

 

[Swimmingdancer]

Please find some better help, like a good psychiatrist, counsellor or psychologist. I think it is highly unlikely that that many people are out to get you. If you said it was just one person you were worried about, then I could think maybe it is true, but since you seem to feel this paranoia about everyone then I think it is all in your brain. And you seem to know deep down that it is irrational, you are just having a hard time because your mind is tricking you.

 

[It's a baby!]

You should see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. The psychiatrist gives you medicine that will soothe the paranoid feelings to a certain extent (you won't necessarily need the medicine forever), and the psychologist will do the more interesting work of helping you figure out why you created these delusions in the first place. You're not going to be like this forever, but you need to see a professional. And I'm speaking as someone who is doing just that. I know how those paranoid thoughts can just feed off each other. It can get really scary. Especially when you're paranoid about people who you love you, like friends and family.

The other thing you need to do is just accept, with your "higher mind", that the feelings that everyone is after you are delusions. They're insubstantial thoughts. I still get that feeling sometimes, because if you think hard enough about any conversation you can relate it to your life. So I can get very confused if I allow myself to get confused. But you should accept that most people aren't bad, most people are pretty decent in reality. We've both been through traumas that have made us distrustful of everybody, but you should start looking at those feelings of extreme distrust for what they are: paranoid delusions. I realize that you don't have some magic button on your forehead that will make the thoughts go away. It's very difficult to detach yourself from serious delusions but it is possible. Be kind to yourself as much as possible, do things that make you comfortable. Long walks always seem to help me a lot when I experience some delusion, it can be great to get out of the house you're living in and away from the people you're living with sometimes. And the long walks will teach you that people aren't after you. People will briefly make eye contact with you, people might even say hello, I don't know, it's helped me a lot to get over my social anxiety (which was a major component of my psychosis).

It must be very difficult to deal with people saying "you sound crazy" and getting annoyed with the way you talk. I'm sure that doesn't help matters. I feel for you man, I really do.

And you should realize that "psychotic" doesn't mean Psycho, it means "disorganized thinking".

Edit: I see you're already on risperdal. Maybe it is not the drug for you. Or maybe it is the drug for you and you need a higher dose, or a lower dose, I have no idea that's something for your psychiatrist to figure out. But you should definitely start seeing a therapist. Mental health issues are best treated with a combination of medication and therapy. I'm on aripiprazole and I feel like talking to the therapist is doing even more for me than the drug is.

I also see you used to have a bit of an amphetamine problem, if I read the older post right? A good friend of mine who's in his 60s had an amphetamine problem and it took him about a year to get over the psychosis and whatnot that he experienced. He's TOTALLY fine now, he just doesn't drink or use drugs whatsoever.

 

[Mayonaise812]

If someone wanted to kill/poison you... youd already be dead.