I want you to want
To want what I have.
For you to have what I
Want, and to
Have what I want for
You.
Seems you’ve got what you’ve got,
And what I have is quite a headache.
Of course I don’t want you back,
I don’t need you here,
Consider me gone.
See? Not here,
Left the building,
Rounded the corner,
(……and peeking her head around to catch a glimpse of you……)
Yet to want you,
To need you
Feels awfully foreign right now.
Quite simply, because I don’t.
My once juvenile property ideal
I tagged you with, it’s all gone.
It took your loss to make me grow,
To make me realize, what foolish personas I wore.
I took the idea of you, made it my world,
Cried like a dethroned dictator upon my release.
As of yet, I need no royalty in my life.
I’ve learned to speak,
I speak to inherit new prospects
Acquire my life through verse and lecture
Still wrestling within my own tattered jeans to the pinnacle.
But yet, this feeling
I feel awakened, possibly stricken,
Probably frightened,
But, definitely facing it.
Strange though, a new me
Coming new and improved,
With a pesky little bonus in the form
Of your staples in my heart.
It’s annoying, for sure,
But if I breathe slowly,
The pressure leaves,
And my color returns.
I know I love you now more than ever,
Simply for the reason
That when my leaves change per season,
You’ve infiltrated the roots
And I’m okay with it.
Most nights.
So no, I don’t think I want you back here
I’m not sure that I’ve got the space for another scar,
I’ve found comfort in time,
And our new interactions,
The way you can make me smile
On thunderstorm days,
And the way you make my mind churn
On days of seemingly mindless operations
An imparted comfort, a gracious smile.
And I’m sure I still love you, and I’m sure I’m glad
You aren’t still here.
I would have lost myself,
And you for the permanence.
I sometimes think you were made for me
For a different me, down a different road,
A different time from now.
A little sooner than I would have imagined.
What I wanted you to want,
And what I want you to want now,
Is something I’m not sure I have,
Or want to have, at this wanting moment.
You know I hate to love you,
When you hold me
Tight
In those empty arms.
But I do love you,
(Someday.)
[ 09 June 2002: Message edited by: drea ]
To want what I have.
For you to have what I
Want, and to
Have what I want for
You.
Seems you’ve got what you’ve got,
And what I have is quite a headache.
Of course I don’t want you back,
I don’t need you here,
Consider me gone.
See? Not here,
Left the building,
Rounded the corner,
(……and peeking her head around to catch a glimpse of you……)
Yet to want you,
To need you
Feels awfully foreign right now.
Quite simply, because I don’t.
My once juvenile property ideal
I tagged you with, it’s all gone.
It took your loss to make me grow,
To make me realize, what foolish personas I wore.
I took the idea of you, made it my world,
Cried like a dethroned dictator upon my release.
As of yet, I need no royalty in my life.
I’ve learned to speak,
I speak to inherit new prospects
Acquire my life through verse and lecture
Still wrestling within my own tattered jeans to the pinnacle.
But yet, this feeling
I feel awakened, possibly stricken,
Probably frightened,
But, definitely facing it.
Strange though, a new me
Coming new and improved,
With a pesky little bonus in the form
Of your staples in my heart.
It’s annoying, for sure,
But if I breathe slowly,
The pressure leaves,
And my color returns.
I know I love you now more than ever,
Simply for the reason
That when my leaves change per season,
You’ve infiltrated the roots
And I’m okay with it.
Most nights.
So no, I don’t think I want you back here
I’m not sure that I’ve got the space for another scar,
I’ve found comfort in time,
And our new interactions,
The way you can make me smile
On thunderstorm days,
And the way you make my mind churn
On days of seemingly mindless operations
An imparted comfort, a gracious smile.
And I’m sure I still love you, and I’m sure I’m glad
You aren’t still here.
I would have lost myself,
And you for the permanence.
I sometimes think you were made for me
For a different me, down a different road,
A different time from now.
A little sooner than I would have imagined.
What I wanted you to want,
And what I want you to want now,
Is something I’m not sure I have,
Or want to have, at this wanting moment.
You know I hate to love you,
When you hold me
Tight
In those empty arms.
But I do love you,
(Someday.)
[ 09 June 2002: Message edited by: drea ]
