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  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

Pain Managment & Dealing with Addiction - strategies or advice between treatment

Hi leftwing,

your story got me thinking. I dont know what I am allowed and not allowed to post, so forgive me as Im new o this particular forum.

I too have been going to just a normal doctor for pain meds. I am prescribed 60 18mg Hydromorph Contin and 100 Dilaudid(hydromorphone Hcl) 8mg tablets per month. I too have been abusing my meds for the past year, and just started injecting again a few weeks ago.

Its kinda a fucked up situation. Im friends with quite a few other patients of this doctor. We are all on the same thing, mostly the time release hydromorph contin capsules. Some of the other guys told me not to tell him about the injecting or abuse. They kinda even threatened me. They are also abusers, so obviously they dont want me risking their supply. My doctor is the smartest cookie out there. He will not under any circumstances prescribe oxycontin, but feeds me as much hydromorphone as I want. Which is dumb because dilaudid is far more potent, and suitable for abuse then the oxy is. But I'll let him believe what he wants.

Anyways, I dont really know what to do. I live in canada and its very hard switching doctors here. Plus I risk not being prescribed anything at all. I just cant understand though how subutex is any good for pain relief??? I tried methadone and it was awful.

Anyways, just wnated to say there is someone else out there in your exavct same situation, and doesn't have a fucking clue what to do.
 
I am in a similar situation. I was in pain management. My spouse decided I had a problem with my pills and made me get on bupe. Well I am still in pain, subs does nothing for my pain.
why is that fair that I have to suffer in pain? Yes, I have addiction issues, but I also have legitimate pain issues.
I am actually seeking out a new pain dr and hope to get relief. I cannot live like this. Being in bed half of the week is not a quality of life. But all my spouse sees is i should not be on drugs. Hard situation.
 
heya guys!

i've been offered a Bluelighters couch to sleep on initially when i initially get there! =D i got introduced to them through another mutual BL friend:) this place is fucking awesome on an even newer level to me <3

don't mention names at the moment, but i'm forever greatful to both of these beautiful ladies=D<3

i'll keep updating as thing progress!
 
yeah bro, good news... Pity ur not in melb eh haha... hope things all work out well for ya
 
interesting thread. you think though that the medical system would have a process/plan for these types of situations i.e. people who have a long term chronic condition with moderate to extreme levels of pain requiring opiates to manage?

by the very fact the patient is required to take the opiates regular would mean they would become dependant on them?

I broke a leg when i was 13 and was given a script of panadeine forte. I still remember 2 months of eating 8-12 of them a day that the day i stopped i found myself getting the shakes and sweats. It took me a day to realise that I had, unintentionally became addicted to them.

i can only imagine what leftwing has gone through. of course you'd be addicted to opiates, and yet the medical system response is one of systemic bureaucracy, a bit of greed, lies, misinformation and belligerence.

sigh
 
oh yeah chugs, systemic bullshit is a better term. i have heard some horror stories. even trying to get Done in the early 90's in newcastle could mean a few month waiting list. thankfully i knew people who knew a doc that put in a good word etc, and i was on in a week.

having been on and off the syrup a few times i know the hassle, but nothing like lefty.and if truth be known, i have always had private docs that have been accommodating and friendly. to me, anyways.

my current docs take on it is this: you come to me as a patient, lust like any other patient, so i will accord you the same courtesy and access to the suitable medication and treatment regime that is necessary in your situation.

brilliant hey.

im sorry you have not been quite as lucky as me, lefty.

in the h drought, i knew two docs that were handing out grey nurse scripts to two patients. that is the two guys were both seeing both doctors, every four days.

they had to know that the greys were finding there way on to the street.
we'd be waitng outside in the carpark!

goes to show some docs arent so bad. these two were older docs, and the patients were in thier fifties. it was like some burroughs adventure.

still goin too. allthough, i dont think as many greys are sold. i for one, have had my fill. unless of course there was some AA around.
 
before all this bullshit with finding a bupe program which has accepted me, i've been quite lucky in my doctor who i've been with for over 3 years now, before that i was looking around a bit after my other long term doctor up and left after a time. it's just the resources available here and the amount bullshit bureaucracy involved that makes it such a hard process for a person, and one that's wanting to get on the program. the effects from the cycles of use and abuse is pretty tough on me in a few ways each time too:\
 
At least if you are on the Goldie you can hit the beach and try get some fitness up. Nothing like hitting the waves to make the soul glad.

Hope it is working out for you mate. You still got lots of life ahead of you :)
 
^exactly, man, i love the beach - have always lived near the beach, was a life saver back in the day, surfed, swam, boarded, just love it there. i'll probably sleep there the first night i get there (if you guys don't hear from me after that, i've been stabbed) getting back to the proper coast will be great again. i've lived in the northern part of the gold coast (still only 25mins from surfers) before and loved it there. my best friend has just moved back down there and i'm making a friend through the bluelighter who's giving me a place to crash initially - apart from those two people i'm all on my own pretty much. it also gives me the chance to catch up with some bluelighter friends i haven't seen for a while as well as meet new ones along my travels, some i've wanted to meet for a while now.

still, i'm extremely anxious over the whole situation - the anxieties along with some wd's the last couple days have made me physically ill. it's a huge step (in the right direction) for me to be taking and it's all come up pretty quickly in reality . i don't think i'm going to feel totally ready to go when i do step on the train (i'm leaving family and friends here as well, you always have that deep seeded love for your home town), but as soon as i do i know there's no turning back, it's all forward from there. this is a life changing experience for me, one that i'm going to do something with this time instead of pissing away as i've usually done.

thanks for your well wishes nabollocks:)
 
i purchased my ticket today! arrive on the gold coast late afternoon of the 20th, the day before my initial consult:) feels good man.

Deluded said:
Its kinda a fucked up situation. Im friends with quite a few other patients of this doctor. We are all on the same thing, mostly the time release hydromorph contin capsules. Some of the other guys told me not to tell him about the injecting or abuse. They kinda even threatened me. They are also abusers, so obviously they dont want me risking their supply. My doctor is the smartest cookie out there. He will not under any circumstances prescribe oxycontin, but feeds me as much hydromorphone as I want. Which is dumb because dilaudid is far more potent, and suitable for abuse then the oxy is. But I'll let him believe what he wants.

Anyways, I dont really know what to do. I live in canada and its very hard switching doctors here. Plus I risk not being prescribed anything at all. I just cant understand though how subutex is any good for pain relief??? I tried methadone and it was awful.

Anyways, just wnated to say there is someone else out there in your exavct same situation, and doesn't have a fucking clue what to do.
Click to expand...

keep looking for resources and look down every avenue you can, don't give up! you'll find something eventually whether it's a program or another doctor who can help treat your addiction. it took me over a year with periods of almost giving up. when you least expect it, it'll happen. best of luck:)

bupe is very effective in treatment for my chronic pain so that's why i've been so eager to get on this program - it'll also help keep me from abusing other opiates as i have been over the years. methadone covers the pain great for me as well but there's a lot i don't like about methadone and prefer not to be on it.

your friends that threatened you not to tell your doctor you're injecting is because he'll likely cut you off or change your meds and probably review the rest of his patients as well if he found cause enough.

cowmama said:
I am in a similar situation. I was in pain management. My spouse decided I had a problem with my pills and made me get on bupe. Well I am still in pain, subs does nothing for my pain.
why is that fair that I have to suffer in pain? Yes, I have addiction issues, but I also have legitimate pain issues.
I am actually seeking out a new pain dr and hope to get relief. I cannot live like this. Being in bed half of the week is not a quality of life. But all my spouse sees is i should not be on drugs. Hard situation.
Click to expand...

a suggestion to throw out to you is maybe ask your doctor to use some tramadol for breakthrough pain. i've known (been on them myself) quite a few people use this combination for pain and it's been effective. sorry to hear the wifey isn't too keen on you using pain killers, maybe you guys could reach a better compromise then the bupe if it isn't helping you. methadone might be another candidate. either way, best of luck to you too.
 
I've been following this thread for a few months and all I can say is you are obviously a strong, brave person Leftwing who will surely get to where you want to be. I also really admire your honesty with yourself (and everyone else).

Good luck with the Bupe.
 
Hi, I've had some serious PM addiction problems over the past 2 years. This thread has bee really interesting to me. I could really use some info from you guys who seem to know where its at. I've recently admitted to my gp that I was abusing the pain meds I was being scripted because I've reached a point where I can admit I have a problem & I reallyneed some help. So I am just starting down this path. I will come back in a few hours with my fill story be wise I really need some advice.
In serious need of help and advice.
Cheers.
 
Wow, I don't think I would have done that, but desperate times call for desperate measures.. I know because I'm on methadone. I said I'd never do it and here I am.

I really hope your doctor isn't like 99% of others and, for your sake, he shows some understanding because of your honesty. But I doubt that will happen, I think you made a mistake in telling him the truth, only because it will end up hurting you in the long run. It sucks that this is the way it is, but it is. Doctors would rather be wilfully ignorant of your real issues, so long as they don't risk their license/job. If they know you are addicted/injecting your pills and continue to prescribe them to you, they will lose their license. If they know you are, but you don't tell them, they're usually happy to continue to do it until they feel that it's too obvious and risky. The whole world is a corrupt cesspool which you need to navigate like a mine field. It shouldn't be this way, but it is.

I really hope you don't get fucked up too badly for being honest.
 
My gp wasn't quite as understanding as he initially made out to be. Initially he said that I wasn't the first person to head down that path and I'd made a mistake but we would deal with it.
He started by dropping me from 20mg IV of hydromorph daily to 80mg OxyC + whatever I needed in OxyN (IR) in between. I went straight into terrible WD's (vomiting and everything within 2 days) and so upped the dose myself to 100mg OxyC plus about 60mg OxyN daily which I was still sick on. When I saw him next, he dropped me to 60mg OxyC daily with no OxyN, which at first I agreed because I didn't want to be non-compliant. Afterward i begged him to not drop it so low because I was sick & suicidal & not coping.
He wouldn't listen so I split the difference and (only to try and avoid further WD's so soon) started taking 60mg in the morning and 30mg at night. I told him I was doing this and it meant I would run out early. I was still very sick and suicidal. First I received no reply. I then said I wasn't sure he was the right person to be helping me with this (hoping he would help me find a specialist so we could work as a team). Now he has said as i am non-compliant and obviously need more help, I need to find another gp/specialist. He has washed his hands of me.

So basically, after coming clean, we agreed to change to oxy and then he reduced my oxy by heaps & heaps over 2 weeks. I was in constant WDs. Really sick and unable to function. So I upped the dose slightly myself and told him why I had done it. I told him I think I needed more help than just reducing the meds and now he has said, since I couldn't adhere to his dosing schedule, I need to find a new gp.

So I've gone back to IVing the last of the hydromorph that I had. I've been trying to get in touch with a private clinic (I have insurance) to help me ASAP but no-one will answer. My gp won't help, I'm nearly out of hydrmorph and I've been suicidal.
I told my gp i've started IVing again because i'm out of oxy & I don't know what to do & I desperately need his help, and he has turned his back on me. I've tried calling some detox clinics but they've told me I need to see their intake doctors first. Their intake doctors won't answer their phones.

You were right, I should never have told my gp in the first place. I don't really blame him. But if he hadn't started me on such a low oxy dose when I stopped IVing the hydromorph, and then kept reducing substantially when I clearly could not cope with it physically or mentally, I wouldn't be in this position.

To make matters worse, he is a colleague of my partner who knows very little of my pain med problems. I know he won't say anything because of confidentiality, but it still makes things so friggen difficult. I've come clean to my partner about some of it now so that the need for immediate help is understood. But I am getting nowhere.

I've tried to get help.
I don't know what else to do?
I am so close to ending it :'(
 
leftwing said:
as in alternative treatments? i see a physiotherapist every couple of months and have been getting back into light exercising lately - walking, light weights, that kind of thing. accupuncture is something id like to try out, ive heard a lot of good reports from that. simple stretching exercises work great.

i can get my spine fused together but at my age i am refusing to do that, doctors have even been against it. sure there are some successful spinal fusions done, but from what ive seen and heard a good amount of them dont turn out good which then leaves the patient in a wheelchair for the rest of their life and in even more agonising pain
Click to expand...

I had a spinal fusion done a couple of months ago. I was one of the lucky ones, the operation seems to have been a success.
Although now I am left with a hefty opiate addiction and a gp who has turned their back on me. I have been ringing clinics, trying to get into a detox. I want off the drugs. But I cant seem to get any help.
I think you are lucky you have a gp who is willing to continue to prescribe for you. Mine has turned his back on me and I am almost out of pain meds.

I really don't think I am going to make it through this. In hindsight, I was better off having a sore back & a gp willing to prescibe for it.

Good luck to you. I hope you make it onto a program and that your back problems are resolved somehow in the future. Cheers
 
MrIbis said:
hmmm...

lefty, i'll pm you with my msn details, i think we could make pretty good mates - i'm willing to help support you bud - perhaps you might do well to move interstate for a few months dude?

Melbourne its piss easy to get on a bupe program. I got on bupe within 3 days.

My thread is also a sticky now - and if you can forward me the stuff from rolls old thread, i'd be appreciative.
Click to expand...

MrIbis, do you think you could help me? I think I need to get on a bupe program ASAP but I'm not having any lucky when calling clinics. I have private insurance so I am willing to do/go wherever is necessary. Thisis a really Critical issue. Please help me? :'(
 
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