Obyron
Bluelight Crew
ABOUT ME: Male, Mid-twenties, large build. Very experienced with psychedelics, and tryptamines in particular, but this is only my 6th or 7th dance with mushrooms. I'm in good health, and on no medications.
THE SHROOMS: ...are B+ strain (like it matters?) p. cubensis, and suffice it to say I'm very familiar with the grower. The shrooms were picked while young, vacuum dried, and stored with a dessicant pack. Total dose was 6.5g; just under a quarter ounce.
THE REPORT: If you don't want my slightly long-winded backstory, skip two paragraphs to read the very long-winded trip report!
My psychedelic history started the first time I tried LSD. I was in love from the beginning. The vistas it opened in my head were amazing. I'd started trying it in a very rough patch in my life about 9 years ago when I was just a miserable, unpredictably moody person, plagued by depression and suicidal ideation. I was away from home for the first time, going to college, and I think I was at an age where a lot of people, to put it politely, trip and fall. I grew out of it pretty quickly, thank god, and there were some extraordinary changes in me. I attribute both pretty heavily to the positive effects of LSD. Around the same time I tried mushrooms a couple of times, but only at about 1 or 1.5g each time, and it didn't do much for me.
LSD was my drug of choice for a while, until things finally dried up enough around me that it's hard to find it, and I don't believe in searching too hard for psychedelics. Seek and ye shall find, but seek obsessively and ye shall find trouble. It was in this period that I first discovered RCs, and became fascinated in exploring what they had to offer. Eventually, about a year ago, I discovered Bluelight and lurked obsessively. I learned even more than I'd ever wanted to know about RCs, and to paraphrase the zen quote, I became wise as to how little I actually knew. This, of course, just made me want to learn more. More and deeper experimentation followed, but some rocky moments in life came at me, and I went on a hiatus from psychedelics and lurking around places like Bluelight to sort my life out.
All of this brings me to my latest mushroom trip. The backstory is to give an impression of my experience with drugs and life, and to show pretty much where my head is. The tough times have forced me to grow up even more, and yet the open frame of mind and the capacity to appreciate wonder in the world is something I attribute to psychedelics. Now that things were looking up, I'd made the decision that it was time to get back to nature, and that I should give mushrooms another shot. I ended up procuring about half an ounce, and tried a few trips between 2 and 3.5 grams, which were great, but in the spirit of Terrence McKenna I decided I should try an heroic dose.
With 6.5 grams remaining, I knew I could get 2 good trips, or one mindblower. Seeking something revolutionary, I opted for the latter. And so (finally, as I'm sure you're all saying as you read this) I dosed the mushrooms on an empty stomach at about 9 o'clock one fine evening. The only remark I can make about the taste of mushrooms is that they're better freshly picked and wet, but I don't mind the taste of the dried ones at all.
I kicked back and watched some television while I waited for things to kick in. An hour passed. Two hours. I watched the 11 o'clock news, and at 11:30 Leno started. I remember thinking that it had never taken this long for mushrooms to kick in, and that I should have more than alerts. I had the startling thought that maybe they just weren't working. In retrospect I know that was stupid, and that they were working already, but it was very very subtle. Finally I decided to get up to use the bathroom, and that's about the time the world landed on me.
I tried to stand up, and I don't know if it was the rush of blood or what, but the entire room spun around me, and there was an explosion of color in front of my eyes. One minute I wasn't tripping, and the next someone opened the spigot on an industrial sized drum of "Mindfuck" inside my head, and it came on in an instant.
Almost all of the trip that I can remember is mental. I remember the sensation of voyaging through my own mind, reviewing my experiences and asking if I really liked the person I had become. For a lot of people describing a similar experience this is where the trip starts to go bad, but for me the answer was mostly yes every time I asked the question. It was like auditing the last few years of my life, looking at the choices and the mistakes, and saying: "You've done pretty well, and you've mostly been true to yourself. Let the mistakes and the bad choices go, and don't agonize over them. When you move forward, be free, and be honest with yourself. You have made mistakes, and you'll make them again, but feel good knowing that when you've fallen, you've done it your way, and are a better person because of it."
Meanwhile, back in the physical world, I had stripped naked at some point and was rolling around in the floor making indecipherable noises. An onlooker would assume I was dying, had a psychotic break, was at the lowest possible level of mental retardation, or perhaps am a dying, psychotic, retard. My dog, the only witness to these strange events, seemed amused. I can only wonder at his perception of the events. At one point I remember turning on my amp, and "playing" guitar. Mostly I tried bizarre combinations of effects, like a heavy envelope filter with a long delay, and produced lots of bizarre, atmospheric noises. At some point I lost physical control and ripped the strings from the instrument.
The visuals were intense, when I could be bothered to come out of my head long enough to pay attention to them. Lots of morphing, and strange hallucinations of everything turning to smoke, like the world was evanescing away.
Finally I began to think on primitive cultures. I'm not generally the type of person who yearns for the wholesale breakdown of society so that we all might return to being root-gathering cave dwellers, but I think we have a lot to learn. The western world seemed spiritually bankrupt. Judeo-Christian religion prevails with all its dogmatic moral trappings, and yet what are we learning from it? What does it teach us about what we are inside of ourselves? I thought to myself that spirituality is not about religion, but understanding your consciousness, your thoughts, and your experiences, and understanding how they relate to your Self. From there you come to understand your Self and how you relate to everyone and everything around you. I thought of how so many people I know never seem to ask themselves these questions, and how so many of them seem like wind-up dolls simply plodding through existence until the spring gives out, never daring to ask "Who am I?" for fear of the answer.
Eventually things began to wind down, and I began enjoying the afterglow, and trying to assimilate all the thoughts that I'd had. For a while I had tripped too often, and while it was still fun, the psychological insights had become fewer and fewer. I had come to the point that I was lying to myself. I was no longer exploring myself, I was merely enjoying something recreational. I don't see a problem with that if you're admitting it, but you shouldn't lie to yourself while you're doing it.
On the whole I feel like this trip was a reawakening of myself as a psychedelic creature, and I feel that I've given myself a new grounding in my own spirituality. I went through what could have been a miserable introspection and examination of my choices and mistakes, only to find that I'd passed the test, and what I needed most was not to change how I do things, but to simply quit lingering on the mistakes that happen along the way. It was like what's spoken of in baptism when the sins are washed away and only the holy essence underneath remains. I felt purified of my mistakes and my doubts; free to move forward confidently.
This was a month ago, and I still feel profoundly changed. My personal life has continued getting better, and I honestly feel like the positivity, joy, and lust for life that I'm projecting are coming back to me. I've taken a lot of steps toward improving my health, such as working out regularly, and eating better. It's been a month, and I'm already feeling better than I have in a very long time. I'm going to have another tango with trying to quit smoking, and hopefully this time I'll have more luck with it.
We all know people who have an intense psychedelic experience and talk about how it changed them, only to fall back into the same traps and behaviors a few weeks later. I think, though, that we all also know one or two people who really have changed from it, and have truly improved themselves based on their insights, and I'm determined to be one of those.
I've done a lot of psychedelics, and I've had a lot of good experiences, and only one or two bad ones. I've written a few trip reports, but I've never really had an experience that I felt I had to share this strongly. If you're experienced with psychedelics and generally in a good headspace, I strongly advocate trying a heroic dose of mushrooms (which I think has been loosely defined as >5g?) if you get the chance. The intensity of it is amazing, and you might find yourself truly delighted to see where your mind can take you.
After this trip I feel like I'm finally ready (and worthy!) to try DMT, and so I'm going to work on that. Here's hoping that I have the willpower and the dedication to stay true to myself.
Finally, I want to thank Bluelighters collectively for everything I've learned here. This place does more good than most of us will probably ever realize.
Buy the ticket, take the ride. Mahalo!
THE SHROOMS: ...are B+ strain (like it matters?) p. cubensis, and suffice it to say I'm very familiar with the grower. The shrooms were picked while young, vacuum dried, and stored with a dessicant pack. Total dose was 6.5g; just under a quarter ounce.
THE REPORT: If you don't want my slightly long-winded backstory, skip two paragraphs to read the very long-winded trip report!
My psychedelic history started the first time I tried LSD. I was in love from the beginning. The vistas it opened in my head were amazing. I'd started trying it in a very rough patch in my life about 9 years ago when I was just a miserable, unpredictably moody person, plagued by depression and suicidal ideation. I was away from home for the first time, going to college, and I think I was at an age where a lot of people, to put it politely, trip and fall. I grew out of it pretty quickly, thank god, and there were some extraordinary changes in me. I attribute both pretty heavily to the positive effects of LSD. Around the same time I tried mushrooms a couple of times, but only at about 1 or 1.5g each time, and it didn't do much for me.
LSD was my drug of choice for a while, until things finally dried up enough around me that it's hard to find it, and I don't believe in searching too hard for psychedelics. Seek and ye shall find, but seek obsessively and ye shall find trouble. It was in this period that I first discovered RCs, and became fascinated in exploring what they had to offer. Eventually, about a year ago, I discovered Bluelight and lurked obsessively. I learned even more than I'd ever wanted to know about RCs, and to paraphrase the zen quote, I became wise as to how little I actually knew. This, of course, just made me want to learn more. More and deeper experimentation followed, but some rocky moments in life came at me, and I went on a hiatus from psychedelics and lurking around places like Bluelight to sort my life out.
All of this brings me to my latest mushroom trip. The backstory is to give an impression of my experience with drugs and life, and to show pretty much where my head is. The tough times have forced me to grow up even more, and yet the open frame of mind and the capacity to appreciate wonder in the world is something I attribute to psychedelics. Now that things were looking up, I'd made the decision that it was time to get back to nature, and that I should give mushrooms another shot. I ended up procuring about half an ounce, and tried a few trips between 2 and 3.5 grams, which were great, but in the spirit of Terrence McKenna I decided I should try an heroic dose.
With 6.5 grams remaining, I knew I could get 2 good trips, or one mindblower. Seeking something revolutionary, I opted for the latter. And so (finally, as I'm sure you're all saying as you read this) I dosed the mushrooms on an empty stomach at about 9 o'clock one fine evening. The only remark I can make about the taste of mushrooms is that they're better freshly picked and wet, but I don't mind the taste of the dried ones at all.
I kicked back and watched some television while I waited for things to kick in. An hour passed. Two hours. I watched the 11 o'clock news, and at 11:30 Leno started. I remember thinking that it had never taken this long for mushrooms to kick in, and that I should have more than alerts. I had the startling thought that maybe they just weren't working. In retrospect I know that was stupid, and that they were working already, but it was very very subtle. Finally I decided to get up to use the bathroom, and that's about the time the world landed on me.
I tried to stand up, and I don't know if it was the rush of blood or what, but the entire room spun around me, and there was an explosion of color in front of my eyes. One minute I wasn't tripping, and the next someone opened the spigot on an industrial sized drum of "Mindfuck" inside my head, and it came on in an instant.
Almost all of the trip that I can remember is mental. I remember the sensation of voyaging through my own mind, reviewing my experiences and asking if I really liked the person I had become. For a lot of people describing a similar experience this is where the trip starts to go bad, but for me the answer was mostly yes every time I asked the question. It was like auditing the last few years of my life, looking at the choices and the mistakes, and saying: "You've done pretty well, and you've mostly been true to yourself. Let the mistakes and the bad choices go, and don't agonize over them. When you move forward, be free, and be honest with yourself. You have made mistakes, and you'll make them again, but feel good knowing that when you've fallen, you've done it your way, and are a better person because of it."
Meanwhile, back in the physical world, I had stripped naked at some point and was rolling around in the floor making indecipherable noises. An onlooker would assume I was dying, had a psychotic break, was at the lowest possible level of mental retardation, or perhaps am a dying, psychotic, retard. My dog, the only witness to these strange events, seemed amused. I can only wonder at his perception of the events. At one point I remember turning on my amp, and "playing" guitar. Mostly I tried bizarre combinations of effects, like a heavy envelope filter with a long delay, and produced lots of bizarre, atmospheric noises. At some point I lost physical control and ripped the strings from the instrument.
The visuals were intense, when I could be bothered to come out of my head long enough to pay attention to them. Lots of morphing, and strange hallucinations of everything turning to smoke, like the world was evanescing away.
Finally I began to think on primitive cultures. I'm not generally the type of person who yearns for the wholesale breakdown of society so that we all might return to being root-gathering cave dwellers, but I think we have a lot to learn. The western world seemed spiritually bankrupt. Judeo-Christian religion prevails with all its dogmatic moral trappings, and yet what are we learning from it? What does it teach us about what we are inside of ourselves? I thought to myself that spirituality is not about religion, but understanding your consciousness, your thoughts, and your experiences, and understanding how they relate to your Self. From there you come to understand your Self and how you relate to everyone and everything around you. I thought of how so many people I know never seem to ask themselves these questions, and how so many of them seem like wind-up dolls simply plodding through existence until the spring gives out, never daring to ask "Who am I?" for fear of the answer.
Eventually things began to wind down, and I began enjoying the afterglow, and trying to assimilate all the thoughts that I'd had. For a while I had tripped too often, and while it was still fun, the psychological insights had become fewer and fewer. I had come to the point that I was lying to myself. I was no longer exploring myself, I was merely enjoying something recreational. I don't see a problem with that if you're admitting it, but you shouldn't lie to yourself while you're doing it.
On the whole I feel like this trip was a reawakening of myself as a psychedelic creature, and I feel that I've given myself a new grounding in my own spirituality. I went through what could have been a miserable introspection and examination of my choices and mistakes, only to find that I'd passed the test, and what I needed most was not to change how I do things, but to simply quit lingering on the mistakes that happen along the way. It was like what's spoken of in baptism when the sins are washed away and only the holy essence underneath remains. I felt purified of my mistakes and my doubts; free to move forward confidently.
This was a month ago, and I still feel profoundly changed. My personal life has continued getting better, and I honestly feel like the positivity, joy, and lust for life that I'm projecting are coming back to me. I've taken a lot of steps toward improving my health, such as working out regularly, and eating better. It's been a month, and I'm already feeling better than I have in a very long time. I'm going to have another tango with trying to quit smoking, and hopefully this time I'll have more luck with it.
We all know people who have an intense psychedelic experience and talk about how it changed them, only to fall back into the same traps and behaviors a few weeks later. I think, though, that we all also know one or two people who really have changed from it, and have truly improved themselves based on their insights, and I'm determined to be one of those.
I've done a lot of psychedelics, and I've had a lot of good experiences, and only one or two bad ones. I've written a few trip reports, but I've never really had an experience that I felt I had to share this strongly. If you're experienced with psychedelics and generally in a good headspace, I strongly advocate trying a heroic dose of mushrooms (which I think has been loosely defined as >5g?) if you get the chance. The intensity of it is amazing, and you might find yourself truly delighted to see where your mind can take you.
After this trip I feel like I'm finally ready (and worthy!) to try DMT, and so I'm going to work on that. Here's hoping that I have the willpower and the dedication to stay true to myself.
Finally, I want to thank Bluelighters collectively for everything I've learned here. This place does more good than most of us will probably ever realize.
Buy the ticket, take the ride. Mahalo!
