HYDRO_CHRONIC
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2001
- Messages
- 2,994
i think 90% of people on bluelight have similar experences ^^
I have been sober for 1 and a half. I have had a few occasions of using, but I did it only once each time about 4 times spaced throughout, due to me being in environments that I shouldn't of been in.
I think I am doing fine, and feel a lot better. I don't have cravings or think about shooting up but once in a blue moon, usually if I dream about it on a rare occasion. I think I still am a little less happy or optimistic about things than what is considerred normal, but that could just be how I am, and not residual effects from addiction. I am not sad or anything, but I tend to doubt people and their intentions, and don't get super excited like I see some people due about trivial things such as going to a movie, or mall. I feel functional and very able to deal with my emotions usually, where as before dealing with emotions meant drug use.
I am trying hard to change my thought process, although it isn't that bad and doesn't keep me from being happy most of the time, I just think if I thought in a positive manner first that it would be healthier, and not view things with feeling that there is an ulterior motive. It is hard for me to trust people since I was so untrustworthy and my friends were too when I was an addict. It brought out the worst in everyone, and was like a game to see who could get over on who with out them noticing.
HeadphonesandLSD: I feel as though I am not the typical recreational opiate user. I have been using for a little less than a year, once a week pretty much on the dot. Since I only use once a week, I have been able to use without becoming addicted. I typically take hydrocodone, but occassionally will get my hands on some oxy. My tolerance for oxy is 20-25 mg and I never take any more or less. Sometimes I will start to feel a little sick, or perhaps light headed. You talk about these symptoms as if they are signs of taking too much, or being close to an OD. I am sure your symtoms are much more severe, but I have always viewed this as a part of the drug. For the most part I have a pretty smooth time on them, but like I said there are the occasional drawbacks. It has never, EVER even crossed my mind that I was anywhere near an overdose.
For me I don't feel sick anymore until I'm getting close to OD, my body is accustomed to opiates and outside of itching like mad (which I came to enjoy) I never got any feelings like sick stomach or fever-like feeling anyway. Opiates just seem to vary in effects for most...
I hate to put it this way put: With opiates you'll know what the feelings of begin close to an OD are like if you ever push things too far. For me its like an instant switch from feeling good to knowing that I fucked up. Sometimes those feelings will set in and I can lay down for say 15 minutes and know that I'll be okay. Sometimes they set in and you nod out and come to many hours later (if you're lucky).
Same as you, the thought never crossed my mind until I got there the first time. You're good to keep it to a once a week thing, but realize that it can turn into a "twice a week/three times a week" thing until it becomes every day. Its easy to impulsively take opiates once you become accustomed to the high they bring. Add some benzos to the mix, maybe a drink or two, maybe something else and you end up in a bad situation fast.
Best of luck.
Addictions a bitch. Period. I know a few ppl who manage to take opiates recreationally for a year or two but very few who make opiate vacations last longer than that. At some point a bad day, a fight with a significant other.....whathaveyou will cause you to say "fuck it" to get out of that space in your head. My best advice to someone who wants to play around with opiates and not become addicted is to only buy what you intend to use. Dont have a couple extra laying around on a wednesday night and youll never have the problem of taking them on a wednesday night. Addiction isnt something you immediately recognize. I did heroin non stop for a week the first time I did it. Then stopped, moved on and didnt think about it again for a month or so. Had no withdrawals, had no real urge to reuse. But it had me erroneously convinced that it wasnt as easy to get addicted as everyone said it was. So the next time I didnt do heroin but bought a shit load of oxys. It was a good deal in bulk right? Well, that time I found myself getting less and less gaps between use until finally there was no gap and the bottle ran out. Then wd set in. Scared the shit out of me that I could be so wrong. Stupidly, I went right back and bought some more for a "freind" to hook him up and he gave me 20 for brokering the deal. Thats when I fell in love with opiates and spent three years with oxycontin before trip number one to the methadone clinic.
ONLY BUY WHAT YOU INTEND TO USE IN ONE SITTING. Having them laying around leads to opportunities for addiction that arent there otherwise.
ONLY BUY WHAT YOU INTEND TO USE IN ONE SITTING. Having them laying around leads to opportunities for addiction that arent there otherwise.
This is because society is stupid.