JennaHermosaCA
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2009
- Messages
- 78
Oxycontin, snorted was a letdown. Nice rush at first then whatever. Complete opposite of any stimulant. (obviously) You don't care, or if you do, you are more compassionate I guess. I like stuff that makes me think. I love to feel alive and energetic and excited about life. But I don't know why I'm writing this, because in my mind I know all drugs are bullshit. NOT ONE of those fuckers doesn't have a downside. Regular psychiatric meds make you get fat, or give you anxiety, or make you feel emotionless, I been on them all. Or the worst is no sex drive.
I could not do it again even if it was awesome, because of the physical addiction. I'm already addicted to be KLonopin, but I can always get a new script and I don't have to put myself at risk of jail or death for it. But hell if I will ever try to detox off it again without a weaning schedule. I tried doing it with phenobarbital. LOL. By the third day, I seriously thought I was losing my mind. That drug can only be detoxed with itself.
My newest thing now is Adderall. I just got on that three days ago and I feel like a total crackhead even though I'm taking only 40 mg IR a day. The high is INTENSE for hours. Better than any Oxy buzz ever. I swear, I better sell them off or some shit cause I like them too too much. And I have a friend mad at me now because she was hooked on them for years. I know I was not myself with her last night. But I didn't care either. I was not my usual wimp ass self. I told her, look, THIS IS REALITY. I have known you two weeks and you are on my ass so hard I can't breath. Your moods swing like a monkey on speed, and I can be your friend until you quit with the daily drama. How many times a day can I tell you I love you, not know if I mean it, but say it anyway, so you don't cry. (I didnt tell her that part tho) So, being that she is a borderline personality according to my therapist, she only sees black and white. She said I ruined everything by saying 2 weeks is not a relationship. It's not. Okay, I'm shutting up. This is so fucked...lol. This is so off subject....anyway, I don't know if the Adderall helped me say what I needed to or made things worse for me because now I feel bad for her. No matter how messed she is, it makes me like her more cause she is hurting and I hate seeing that. I love making people feel good. And she is the first person I have met like this in my life......there has to be another board for this....feel free to move this!!
I could not do it again even if it was awesome, because of the physical addiction. I'm already addicted to be KLonopin, but I can always get a new script and I don't have to put myself at risk of jail or death for it. But hell if I will ever try to detox off it again without a weaning schedule. I tried doing it with phenobarbital. LOL. By the third day, I seriously thought I was losing my mind. That drug can only be detoxed with itself.
My newest thing now is Adderall. I just got on that three days ago and I feel like a total crackhead even though I'm taking only 40 mg IR a day. The high is INTENSE for hours. Better than any Oxy buzz ever. I swear, I better sell them off or some shit cause I like them too too much. And I have a friend mad at me now because she was hooked on them for years. I know I was not myself with her last night. But I didn't care either. I was not my usual wimp ass self. I told her, look, THIS IS REALITY. I have known you two weeks and you are on my ass so hard I can't breath. Your moods swing like a monkey on speed, and I can be your friend until you quit with the daily drama. How many times a day can I tell you I love you, not know if I mean it, but say it anyway, so you don't cry. (I didnt tell her that part tho) So, being that she is a borderline personality according to my therapist, she only sees black and white. She said I ruined everything by saying 2 weeks is not a relationship. It's not. Okay, I'm shutting up. This is so fucked...lol. This is so off subject....anyway, I don't know if the Adderall helped me say what I needed to or made things worse for me because now I feel bad for her. No matter how messed she is, it makes me like her more cause she is hurting and I hate seeing that. I love making people feel good. And she is the first person I have met like this in my life......there has to be another board for this....feel free to move this!!