It is used to prevent migraines sometimes but it gave me the worst migraines i ever had. I had them for weeks after quitting the drug
I would say that's because you quit. The same thing happened to me when I quit, I had dizzy spells and headaches, and some episodes where my face would randomly get tics. It was horrible. Of course, this drug is notorious for causing withdrawal effects if you don't taper of it, and I was only taking 200mg twice per day. I admit coming off it was not pretty. Depressed too, because Tegretol has a mild serotonergic effect and not having that certainly made me feel worse. Sleeping was more difficult, but since I was also taking mirtazapine, the dosing effect the Tegretol had was slowly subsiding, allowing more of the mirtazapine to get into my system since Tegretol is a liver inducer and makes things get eliminated too quickly. Fine examples are benzos, painkillers, antiinflammatories, etc.
Yeah my stepfather takes tegretol for his epilepsy. It does make me worry about him.
My biggest fear is ending up being gone for a week or two before I'm found, where my insides are liquefied and I'm crawling with the hatchlings of household flying insects. That's the last thing I want is for someone to be traumatised by finding a body, especially one that has been gone for some time. I have no fear of my own death, but I am worried how it would affect someone else, and that is what scares me the most. It's why I would never want to use any really nasty methods of self-exit if I had to, but rather something gentle and non-traumatic.
I don't think I have much time left with the way this thing I'm dealing with is progressing.
It seems to be having a great time raping my sanity, causing untold stress and depression, and probably ruining whatever remains of my cardiovascular health I actually do have, which I'm sure I have some, but it's not like in my 20s. I'm in my 40s, my dad had bad angina attacks before they found blockages in his arteries, so this is something I need to fully understand, and that I cannot be careful enough...but even then, these things just keep happening.
So I guess I can provide you with a metaphor. Basically, in simple terms, I'm trapped on the top floor of a building with 30 floors where the fire has started on the 1st floor, and is slowly moving up. I'd have two choices here realistically, jump out that top floor, or wait for the fire to engulf me and kill me anyway. I could experience episode 13, off myself (jump out the building), or wait for further episodes and go completely insane, be inducted into a psychiatric ward and end up with a full blown schizophrenia diagnosis and do something trully hideous to myself (wait for the fire to burn me alive - a butt ugly outcome to be sure). I know I'm smart and the smart thing to do is to just pull the pin on episode 13 or whichever episode leaves me with serious hearing damage and most likely catastrophic tinnitus (which is what causes most Menieres patients to end their own lives).
