Dastrix Slogan
Bluelighter
My apologies for rambling on - some thought's needed to get out and they just wouldn't form as they usually do 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I grind my teeth as I battle to sleep, so fucking tired. Anxiety bites into my back again, slimy little gremlin grinning as it grips hold. In so much as I want to remember everything the way it was I know that everything must change. So I find my feet stuck in the mud and instead of trying to get out I'm jumping up and down like an idiot, making sure I'm stuck. I'm convinced that I know the ending so I'm not even bothering seeing the movie! Do I really know where you and I will end? Am I reading way, way too much into a few brief hours of my life? Am I trivialising it?
I'll tell you what I do know.
I know what's at the end of this road should we walk down it.
The edge of the wet tin roof that my life gingerly walks on.
There is just too much that cannot be done, too much "just so".
I know, that I cannot put you first.
Right now, not you, not anyone.
On the polished silver tray in front of you lie day old sandwiches, still wrapped in plastic.
And the shame of it consumes me.
I cannot look into your eyes and see your disappointment.
Will I do the same as always?
Don't burn out.
Just fade away.
A little more here, and there
then gone?
Even still I cannot forget waking up in the early morning, harsh reality in the early light,
the bland taste of fatigue in my mouth.
Feeling scared and alone.
And I feel you turning behind me,
put your arm around me,
and kiss me between the shoulders.
Just then it's enough that you and I are there together,
and nothing more.
Right now, I could really use some of that.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I grind my teeth as I battle to sleep, so fucking tired. Anxiety bites into my back again, slimy little gremlin grinning as it grips hold. In so much as I want to remember everything the way it was I know that everything must change. So I find my feet stuck in the mud and instead of trying to get out I'm jumping up and down like an idiot, making sure I'm stuck. I'm convinced that I know the ending so I'm not even bothering seeing the movie! Do I really know where you and I will end? Am I reading way, way too much into a few brief hours of my life? Am I trivialising it?
I'll tell you what I do know.
I know what's at the end of this road should we walk down it.
The edge of the wet tin roof that my life gingerly walks on.
There is just too much that cannot be done, too much "just so".
I know, that I cannot put you first.
Right now, not you, not anyone.
On the polished silver tray in front of you lie day old sandwiches, still wrapped in plastic.
And the shame of it consumes me.
I cannot look into your eyes and see your disappointment.
Will I do the same as always?
Don't burn out.
Just fade away.
A little more here, and there
then gone?
Even still I cannot forget waking up in the early morning, harsh reality in the early light,
the bland taste of fatigue in my mouth.
Feeling scared and alone.
And I feel you turning behind me,
put your arm around me,
and kiss me between the shoulders.
Just then it's enough that you and I are there together,
and nothing more.
Right now, I could really use some of that.
