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Opioids Overdose memory

D

Deryn

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 11, 2025
Messages
13
I have a really weird memory from the single time I used heroin. For context, I was 17 and severely underweight/anorexic at the time. Literally in starvation mode. It was decades ago so I guess it was pure then?? It was smoked and I'd literally had as much as I could.

I have this weird memory of trying to pull myself out of this sticky black tar feeling. Like it was pulling at me, sucking me back down. It was so hard to pull up from.

Then I have this recollection of trying to pull up again but with this awful sinister feeling. Like it had pulled me down once and if it pulled me again it would keep me. It was so so horrible.

I eventually pulled up into a very very disassociated euphoria with a lot of zoning in and out.

Overdose memory??
 
Deryn said:
Shit. Thanks. Literally came back to me following a dose of fentanyl in hospital.

It's from decades ago. Mental. Now climbing the walls with cravings I don't even understand.
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The thing is most people think 'overdose' is necessarily a near-death event.

Like you have to be resuscitated or narcan'd in the back of an ambulance.

No. An overdose is simply taking too much. Doesn't have to be life-threatening.

You overdosed.
 
Interesting. Thank you.

I feel a bit confused though. Do you think I could have died? I think it was the sound of shouting nearby that prompted me to start pulling up out of the black.

This whole memory is new to me. The whole euphoria, literally everything is new in my head but happened decades ago. It's so fucked up.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
PS your brain got sensitised to the effects of opiates, and now has a switch that says 'give me opiates'. You do best to ignore that impulse.
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Thanks. It helps explains my fifteen year codeine addiction... It explains a lot. No idea how the hell my brain just forgot this though.

Since the fentanyl in hospital I'm literally climbing the walls. I was never an active heroin user though. Had no idea I'd even ever had it. It's mental.
 
Deryn said:
Interesting. Thank you.

I feel a bit confused though. Do you think I could have died? I think it was the sound of shouting nearby that prompted me to start pulling up out of the black.

This whole memory is new to me. The whole euphoria, literally everything is new in my head but happened decades ago. It's so fucked up.
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If voices could 'pull you back', you still had some responsiveness. You therefore likely would NOT have died.

Your situation was more like when a drinker blacks out, but does not have fatal alcohol poisoning.
 
Heck. I had a pretty wild ride.

Went from casual user to full addict back to casual. Currently not using at all because my life partner does not like it.

Racked up 18 overdoses at the height of my addiction which is why I think I can speak with some authority as to what is and isn't an overdose. There you go. 🤷
 
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