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Overcoming 'the fear' and making sure the next trip is positive...

holyguacamole

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 15, 2010
Messages
18
So, a few weeks ago I did some dumb shit. My friend convinced me my blotter had weakened because I've had it for about four months and although sealed it's been in some HEAT. I'm talking 70 degree wood stove heated house for a good month of that.

I'm not at home. Not near home. Far away for a temp job. Boss went away for the weekend, just me and a chill coworker. Not super chill though. She'll smoke weed with me but I don't think she's ever touched anything besides weed.

I decide to give a tab a go and took one at 7am. Fell back asleep, woke up at 830 to some slight disorientation but I really just felt a tad tingly. Since I had this mindset the acid was weak, I decided to smoke a bowl. Took a few small tokes then one hit too big and I was soon on a deep deep downward spiral.

My coworker couldn't find out. I couldn't get my window open for fresh air. My room was suddenly hideous and uncomfortable. I was rolling around in bed without even realizing it. I was tripping harder off of ONE tab than I ever have off of three. I've tripped about 7-8 times before, and solo before. But this was terrible. I tried laying in bed and relaxing. I couldn't tell if my heart was beating out of my chest or if it was my imagination. I started getting anxiety. I wanted to SCREAM. I was terrified and I didn't know what was going on. I put on happy music, tried happy thoughts. Terrifying, negative, fearful thoughts permeated EVERYTHING I thought of. This was all mindfuck, no visuals.

I lived through what felt like several eternities in about three hours of absolute hell. I called my friend who suggested this idea (slick bastard) and he helped calm me down. I got some balls and went downstairs and mumbled an 'I don't feel well' and went for a walk outside. I was terrified of being seen by other people because I knew I wasn't acting normal.

Eventually, the high came down and I was able to relax on the back porch and enjoy the beautiful day behind the security of some sunglasses. Damn were my pupils huge from one tab!

After this experience, my first bad (though not terribly bad) trip, I'm quite apprehensive about tripping again. I'm afraid this will happen again, or I'll start thinking about it and have negative thoughts creep back in. In previous trips I've had those dark moments where you almost spiral down but I've always been able to bring myself right back up. I WANT to trip again, I'm just afraid. How can I get past this? You all have had this happen to you and I'd like to know how you got over it. Or did you simply just not think about it at all and trip again with positive results?

Thanks all.

-Noob
 
i think the setting was just off for you, which provoked your anxiety and the bad trip. acid is one of those drugs (for me anyways) where i wanted to make sure that I had absolutely no obligations that day, and that I wouldn't have to talk to my parents (they went out of town) or to anyone I knew.

worrying about your coworker finding out, plus smoking weed on top of that (especially while coming up on acid) can bring a lot of paranoia into your trip. if you're gonna smoke weed and do acid, Ive read (i haven't tried this personally) that you should smoke before you take your acid, that way you're in a more chill/normalized mindset (that is if you smoke weed daily) for when your trip starts to peak.

next time you do it try having maybe a friend do it with you, and maybe explore some nature or something. i did acid alone for my first time, and while it was a pretty decent experience, i think it would be slightly more comforting to know that someone else was there in case I just needed someone to talk to. i smoked DMT during the peak, and for a good little bit I was tripping HARD, and i just really wanted to not be alone since I thought i wasn't gonna come out of the trip. i immediately called up my best friend but he was at work so he couldn't answer at the moment. I ended up being ok tho once the prolonged DMT experience wore off.
 
Three key words: Mindset, Set and Setting.

This is true for all psychedelics but IME is especially important for strong tryptamines (LSD, Mushrooms).

Like Korn3x says above, the most probable cause of your difficult experience was that the setting was off. It may have been the right time and with the right mindset but at the wrong place. Even just that can really fuck your shit up. Always make sure you are in a comfortable setting because under the influence, you can begin obsessing about the most mundane little inconveniences (like the crappy window in your hideous room). This leads to anxiety which in turn leads to an unpleasant ride.

Yes, thinking about a previous "bad trip" can bring unwanted anxiety, stress and negative feelings into a new trip. I recommend taking the time to fully integrate that difficult experience and determine what factors were responsible for it. Once you have understood and learned, you can proceed with a clean slate and open your mind to a positive experience.

The best advice of all: Just relax. Let things flow and enjoy. Stop fearing, stressing and obsessing and just fly...

Enjoy your trip(s)!
 
Another way to help easy your mind is to try a short daily meditation.
By practicing this for even a few minutes before bed or in the morning your mind will learn to control its anxiety. Then, when you are faced with a moment of uncertainty, such as you experienced, you can more easily revert to your familiar calmed state. Meditation has allowed me to evolve much further with dmt journeys by calming the mind before blastoff.
Hope this helps.
 
You'll need to reflect on what you did during your last experience to determine how to change it for the better next time. What exactly was it you were scared of? Were you terrified of EVERYTHING? Why? I know the sheer chaos, but in those split seconds you need to use that urge to scream you have and use your THOUGHTS to SCREAM at yourself to know WHY IS THIS HAPPENING and start deconstructing that thought train quickly before your panic sends you into a horrific fearful looping trip that feels like an eternity all night. With enough experience you will be able to think yourself out of your fear of EVERYTHING, and instead turn it into its NOTHING.

If you do trip again like this, start out with a lighter trip (cannabis potentates psychedelics by a large degree so if it's up to you if you want to do that again, but if you do only take a small hit at most to start). Now hopefully you take this drug in a positive mindset with positive thoughts already otherwise your just asking for a possible bad trip. As the effects begin to build start clinging on to those positive thoughts and imagine the best of what you're expecting to feel. Weather it's bliss, euphoria, peace, enlightenment, think of whatever it is you desire. I hope you did embark on a psychedelic adventure seeking something, right? ;) Lean on these positive thoughts to stay connected to your positive reality. Learn the set and settings you have most control over to better prepare yourself. If the fear of EVERYTHING hits you, start asking yourself Why? "Why am I scared? Am I scared of the drugs effects? Am I scared of dying? What happens if I death? Will I go to heaven? Heaven is a peaceful place. Why is it a peaceful place? Because God loves us?" At this point your steering toward a positive train of thought that distracts you from evil. Being a believer of a higher power, I have an easier time with this, but of course there are many ways to distract yourself from fear.

If you're scared that your dying, remember this, it's that fear of non-existence, nothing, that people are afraid of. You're not afraid of what you thought was EVERYTHING, but in fact it is a fear of NOTHING. When that EVERYTHING is happening, don't be scared, that is LIFE you are experiencing RAW with no barriers to hold anything back. Take it all in and embrace its power, don't fight it, you will always lose trying to battle the forces of the universe. Learn to ride the wave, don't try to control it. Psychedelics can bring out both the best and worst of emotions, but the more you feel and deal with these emotions, the better you will be at handling them.
 
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The weird part is I never figured out what I was so afraid of. I tried, and tried. The shock of tripping absolute balls did me in, I think. I was expecting a relaxing daytrip. You know...how one tab usually gets ya goin just enough to make the day more interesting ;)

I really thought my setting was going to be ok before I did this. I thought about it all day beforehand. I've got many touches of home here, but I was so out of my element mentally that they made no difference. Homesickness overcame me.

As for dying, I actually confronted the notion that someday my parents will die. I've done this before while tripping. Kinda weird. And I also had childhood flashbacks to memories placed far back into my mind. I cried, because of the beauty that those memories still exist.

My next experience will be with friends, at a festival. Some of these friends are the people I tripped the first few times with so I think I'll be okay. It'll be good vibes, with good people, and good music. With any luck I'll be able to confront my last experience and say 'fuck it, forget it' and top it with an amazing trip.

Thanks for the info and advice. I appreciate it.
 
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^^
personally, i wouldn't want to do lsd at a festival. too many people and too much stuff going on/external stimuli.

try doing it with a few friends in a very scenic spot in the woods or in nature somewhere where you won't be bothered by too many people. unless tripping at festivals is just your thing, not sure if you've tried it before or not.

i would like to be able to pick my own music, and if i wanted to get away somewhere quiet i could.
 
^^
personally, i wouldn't want to do lsd at a festival. too many people and too much stuff going on/external stimuli.

try doing it with a few friends in a very scenic spot in the woods or in nature somewhere where you won't be bothered by too many people. unless tripping at festivals is just your thing, not sure if you've tried it before or not.

i would like to be able to pick my own music, and if i wanted to get away somewhere quiet i could.

The first time I took LSD was at a festival. 5 hits.

Earth shattering, overwhelming. But awesome.

Definitely don't remember the whole night though... it was like living in two worlds at the same time.

The thing about a festival, or at-least the ones I go to is that everyone is tripping, everyone is on the same psychedelic wavelength and its just so much positive energy and love I don't even know how something could go bad.
 
^^
interesting point. i guess it can help reinforce yourself having a good trip knowing that everyone else there is tripping too.

would you say you prefer tripping at festivals more than with a small group of close friends? how different is the experience?
 
^^
interesting point. i guess it can help reinforce yourself having a good trip knowing that everyone else there is tripping too.

would you say you prefer tripping at festivals more than with a small group of close friends? how different is the experience?

I prefer it.. when your at a psychedelic festival, it feels as though your actually teleported into another realm, the world around you seems like a wonderland and everyone is on that level; they see your presence as no different then anyone else there. It's like been an observer to the play of consciousness.

Whereas within a small circle of friends, it's like been stuck in a house of mirrors.. your all reflecting back each other's issues through each other. For example, someone may begin to display effects of paranoia.. another person within the circle may have a fear of becoming paranoid.. that person is "reflecting" that persons fear back at them, this sparks off a vicious self-perpetuating cycle which will continue to spiral deeper and deeper.. this is just a basic example, your inner-most fears are exposed and reflected back (sexuality, self-esteem, intimacy, etc)

Everything is absolutely 'personal', and as it gets deeper.. it becomes even more uncomfortable, depending on the dose.. it may result in an 'epic' dramatization of ego-death.. i've seen it happen more then a couple of times. The mind creates the story in which all this will unfold, and it does this in resistance to accepting it's own fears. Obviously it can be fun too! I'm just explaining why a trip amongst friends can turn into an extremely difficult experience.

Most of the years i spent tripping were at psychedelic festivals, or solo. What i found as the main attraction to these festivals is, you can either wonder around or dance, or choose to go back into a group/circle mentality.. your not stuck in that small circle.. it's like a backdoor exit to the mindfuck that can usually result when everyone is feeding off each other.
 
So, a few weeks ago I did some dumb shit. My friend convinced me my blotter had weakened because I've had it for about four months and although sealed it's been in some HEAT. I'm talking 70 degree wood stove heated house for a good month of that.

I'm not at home. Not near home. Far away for a temp job. Boss went away for the weekend, just me and a chill coworker. Not super chill though. She'll smoke weed with me but I don't think she's ever touched anything besides weed.

I decide to give a tab a go and took one at 7am. Fell back asleep, woke up at 830 to some slight disorientation but I really just felt a tad tingly. Since I had this mindset the acid was weak, I decided to smoke a bowl. Took a few small tokes then one hit too big and I was soon on a deep deep downward spiral.

My coworker couldn't find out. I couldn't get my window open for fresh air. My room was suddenly hideous and uncomfortable. I was rolling around in bed without even realizing it. I was tripping harder off of ONE tab than I ever have off of three. I've tripped about 7-8 times before, and solo before. But this was terrible. I tried laying in bed and relaxing. I couldn't tell if my heart was beating out of my chest or if it was my imagination. I started getting anxiety. I wanted to SCREAM. I was terrified and I didn't know what was going on. I put on happy music, tried happy thoughts. Terrifying, negative, fearful thoughts permeated EVERYTHING I thought of. This was all mindfuck, no visuals.

I lived through what felt like several eternities in about three hours of absolute hell. I called my friend who suggested this idea (slick bastard) and he helped calm me down. I got some balls and went downstairs and mumbled an 'I don't feel well' and went for a walk outside. I was terrified of being seen by other people because I knew I wasn't acting normal.

Eventually, the high came down and I was able to relax on the back porch and enjoy the beautiful day behind the security of some sunglasses. Damn were my pupils huge from one tab!

After this experience, my first bad (though not terribly bad) trip, I'm quite apprehensive about tripping again. I'm afraid this will happen again, or I'll start thinking about it and have negative thoughts creep back in. In previous trips I've had those dark moments where you almost spiral down but I've always been able to bring myself right back up. I WANT to trip again, I'm just afraid. How can I get past this? You all have had this happen to you and I'd like to know how you got over it. Or did you simply just not think about it at all and trip again with positive results?

Thanks all.

-Noob

you even say it yourself, everything was fine until you used cannabis to notch up the trip factor and guess what? it soured things

leave pot alone when tripping, i know some people need weed to take a shit or do the dishes but really cannabis is a drug with a time and place vibe about it. the sooner you realise its not always good the better!
 
Try not smoking any pot

Hahaha! Kind of funny coming from a dude that has a cannabis leaf as an avatar!

I know weed is not for everyone, I have some friends that go mental (crazy paranoia) on that stuff, even when not tripping.

For me it's always been great even while tripping... I just use more moderation in these times. Weed (THC) I guess, like Ketamine is just one of those drugs that's just not for everyone...
 
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