@birdup.snaildown hi man. I read your post and personal admission of struggle on a toilet break from a long sleep catching up, most nights or times I sleep, I’m permanently bursting for a pee, and a poo, within half hour of going to sleep each time, eventually waking after a time of feeling like a cesspit, often I get up for both maybe 10 to 15 times in a normal sleep, feeling totally exhausted from it and like I need to go to bed when I get up.
With the lungs so full of mucus I dread waking and feeling it.
But I was itching to reply to you in support. I slept long, as it’s the first time in a week I was able to access deeper sleep.
3 hours and all allergies managed again but no energy at all.
It’s all good now but any food today and it’s repeat tomorrow. I’m looking for a few extra hacks/modifications to tip the balance, make it easier, get some energy up.
It’s a big “drawing board” but I’ll keep at it.
But I do really feel for you. Personally, I could not even look after our beautiful 7 yr old greyhound, if my mum died, which has also been not an outside possibility.
Conversely, I’ve done well, gaining lots of weight rapidly. Honestly 3 months ago, my first health treatment in 6 terrible months (for all of us), I would not have lived another 2 weeks otherwise.
I’ve been following some hardcore intensive healing regimens since, the homeopathy, high dosage quality probiotics (soil based organisms), additional treatments, and what’s known as energy healing, very very powerful procedure to remove “dead energy” from the body.
Plus a rife frequency generator with a very powerful new specific frequency.
From literally almost guaranteed life fading 3 months ago, I’ve gained astonishing weight, I’m not in the Red Zone anymore.
For a long time, I genuinely feared I might die at any time, heart stopping possibly due to true ultimate exhaustion or just starvation.
In which case, I had the most extreme anxiety for my mum, who’s had a full on mental, emotional breakdown this year, I’m supporting her remarkably well but I’m trying not to use her for support at all now, just keep it buttoned up which is difficult.
Like, if she suddenly found me deceased, she would likely emotionally crumble.
Not- remove every visible vaporizer, jar of weed, any clue drugs are in the house such as over 600 trips (still lol, it was a good thousand not too long ago), plus our stock of self use only homegrown weed, jars and jars and jars from previous summers, just all safely hidden no visible clue.
But now we have 5 weed plants in the garden to be disposed of in such event, before even dialling an authority.
Plus the equivalent of 6000 10 mg Vals in Etizolam powder.
For this reason alone, the legal threat if rapid preventative action wasn’t taken, I just can’t afford to die.
So the times I was hanging by a sliver, the anxiety of that alone was too extreme.
Back to my point- if my mum passed, no way could I give a pet dog any sort of life, I’d also have 4 weeks max to move out and empty a cluttered house too.
So I was thinking of you, 2 lovely years ago, bringing your daughter into the world who I’m sure is your world, wanting to be your absolute best for her, and give her the best life in a free world.
And the promise and sight of that diminishes continually from where I look, despite all the promises if we all just keep jumping through hoops.
I think there’s only really one hoop they will accept to permit “freedom” - not a single unjabbed person among us, ideally. Just my feeling, no matter what the real stats tell us.
And that, was never the criteria from the start. It was painted as a Merry brick road. Normal around the corner.
Goal posts just constantly moving back miles in line with whatever narrative is conjured.
Not challenging you @birdup.snail down or anyone. Just speaking my mind.
When I say, solidarity, that doesn’t mean agreement on all or any things.
That isn’t likely to happen. But we can disagree, debate, with respect, and in peace, in my hope.
Anyway, bringing up a child- never done it. Have always been daunted by the prospect too. But my own dad, lovely intelligent man, OD’d age 3 1983, my mum stopped the brown and everything soon as I was conceived and so commendingly.
My Dad failed, they separated and rest is history.
It never affected me like grief of loss when older, no memories, but everything is in a pipe line deep down just we aren’t aware of it.
So maybe this conditioned me to be fearful of having my own children?
I can’t even have a relationship since 2005 due to my allergies and constant infection level alone banishing romance on any level, which is a shame itself because I used to be a really handsome, well loved man and in person I still have an amazing personality, sense of humour, compassion, really good company and good fun.
You won’t be alone either, wrt the mounting pressure on your relationship.
The human psyche is very delicate. In the name of allegedly greater good, it’s just a fact that our individual psyches and emotional states are being destroyed to pieces in more places than not.
This doesn’t come into consideration though does it when there is a global public “emergency” at hand with what plus 98 % survival rate if not over 90, especially if we had true numbers on those who have died FROM Covid, not just WITH, you get me?
So I empathise and wish I could help with support. I am glad you shared your true feelings though, not that I ever feel you hide everything, you just leave your baggage at the door, which I respect.
But I’m an ambassador for being open with our feelings. It’s important. No shame. We are all pegs of the same, connected tent.
It affects us all if just one peg goes down, IMO.
And your business you built too, curtailed, and no exemption from feeding the system paying off your house either.
Just permanently mounting pressure. Not needed when you describe your declining mental health state.
I do wish I could help. One thing I thought about, and no patronisation meant- I wonder how you are doing general physical health wise.
Like, if you are able, on paper, to keep going, not suffering too much, enough physical energy and stamina and not too much pain I hope.
If so as I wish, maybe try focussing on what you still have in your control. It’s a shitty world but your daughter (and wife) still have you.
I was at my witts end leading up to the November political pantomime and since, I have gone to the deepest depths of depression and despair, hopelessness since.
And I don’t have any responsibility besides supporting my mum and keeping our dog happy (I am gifted at making a dog feel happy and secure, one of my natural talents, also people too you know I know I have a rare talent for easing people out of trauma and despair, using compassion, understanding, philosophy and good humour too).
I don’t live in the real world. I live in my world, attached to it.
Yourself much more so, you work, had your business, full family life and god knows what more.
So we’re all in vastly different positions but similar ones too ironically.
I’m digging deep deep always. I hope you can find a way to keep doing so yourself.
If I’m freed from the trap, effectively, of my conditions, free to normal life like average experience and opportunities- travel, employment, friendships, relationships, normal routine and basic pleasures (nice, healthy food, exercise, breathing fresh air, morning sunlight etc), I would be elated.
We all take more for granted than we recognise. Focussing on the little positives and what we can do, can help.
So I hope your physical condition and comfort level is stable enough, energy level. If so, take thanks in that. And just, keep doing your best. Take pressure off yourself and try not to beat yourself up too, is always good advice, when I’m sure you are doing your absolute best and beyond.
Sorry if this does feel patronising. I just really wanna offer any words of support and encouragement. My head is very blank today too. But above comes from heart, not head.
@chinup sorry to hear you too are really struggling with mental and emotional issues and sorry for the abrasiveness and lack of sensitivity in some of my comments when we have disagreed.
I hope you get some inspiring and rewarding results from your current work and a chance to rejuvenate the other side.
Beware though folks, I’m gonna resume my usual style here posting things, making points from my view, because I give a huge damn about everybody and want the best world for all. That is where I am always coming from anyway.
That rate is averaged across the past two years. The mortality rate varies by country and always has, but - in most countries - it has improved dramatically. If you take the US, for example, I believe it is now 99 point something %... But even that is misleading because the majority of deaths are aged 70+. The current mortality rate (or whatever the correct term is, I don't give a fuck) for people in their 20s is
nothing like the mortality rate for geriatrics. These broad statistics (98%/99%/whatever) are misleading, I think.
Not completely sure about all that, happy to be corrected by someone who has spent more time reading about it.
That selfie you posted made me smile.
You look like a Hobbit from the 1960s.
Haha, a Hobbit! Not heard that one before. But Hobbits are pretty pure honest beings I think, and I am kind of that way by nature.
It just always shocks me how well I can appear regardless of all factors.
I’m glad it brought a smile though. I would have my picture as my Emoji to simply be transparent and not hiding, except for the (outside) potential chance of legal repercussions.
Very good question. I'm of the opinion that, once a country has sufficiently allowed access to vaccines for all eligible people for long enough, then it becomes the onus of those who choose to refuse the vaccine to make sure they don't get sick, and we should be stopping lockdowns and restrictions. Otherwise, a group of people who do not want to fuck with the vaccine are effectively holding the rest of society hostage, but at some point that doesn't even become their fault, since they're really just saying hey, I accept the risk and choose to take my chances, due to understandable fears (fears I share(d), but chose to take on regardless). At that point it is on governments to stop hand holding and allow them to accept that risk. It also sucks that unvaccinated populations allow the virus to continue to mutate and circulate, but I don't believe in mandating vaccines, at least not unless we have another truly deadly pandemic. I mean COVID is dangerous but let's be real, it's no smallpox or ebola.
The only aspect of this that is unfortunate is that some people cannot get the vaccine because of underlying conditions or whatever, even though they would if they could. That sucks for them, but those people, unfortunately, just need to continue to take precautions. We can't lock society down forever to account for a small minority of unfortunate people. And I don't think there are many who refuse the vaccine because of fears who really wanted lockdowns in the first place. I agreed with the restrictions and mask mandates for the first year before vaccines became widely available, and I agree that they should remain in effect in places where vaccines have not been available to many people, but many countries have had vaccines available to all eligible adults for quite some time now and everyone who wants to get one has already gotten one, for the most part. So at this point it's time to allow people to either get back to normal because they're not at significant risk anymore, or to accept the risk they've taken on for themselves.
Hi, if I may quote you I think from memory to the exact word and tone too…
“I expect things to go normal once a vaccine is available, If they don’t, then I’ll start to question things.”
Or very close to that, months ago. I’d say we are on or just over the hilt to at least START questioning things.
I do appreciate your fair, non judgmental, non dictating, non oppressing and non dividing but reasoned attitude toward it and us all.
