I feel like there is something really wrong with me. I have never had an orgasm during sex (vaginal intercourse). Masterbation, toys, etc -- yes. After foreplay, it's just not that pleasurable. I mean, its not bad, its just not something that brings me close to an orgasm. Reading erotica/romance novels, it seems like all the guy has to do is jump on, and the woman cannot contain themselves. Seriously, there have been times that the foreplay glow has waned and intercourse just becomes uncomfortable. I want to love it!!! So, what do I do? Let the guy know I need lots of clit action? (Does a guy get pissed that they need some guidance?) Handle it myself? (Does the guy get pissed that what they're doing isn't enough?) Am I the only one with this issue and I should see a doctor to see if something is anatomically wrong with me?? I'm close to starting a relationship and would like sex to be a more positive thing than it has in the past. Another question--do guys prefer a complete brazillian wax, compared to bikini wax??
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
?? Orgasm ??
- Thread starter juleskar
- Start date
stormcharger
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2012
- Messages
- 352
Guys really don't mind as long as they get to have sex and you get to be satisfied, they prefer honesty
Well I do at least
Well I do at least
RhythmSpring
Bluelighter
Same. To say that men prefer one or the other would be a gross generalization. Men prefer different things.
Also, you are not the only one with your issue. Many many many females have difficulty reaching climax. Look it up.
Also, you are not the only one with your issue. Many many many females have difficulty reaching climax. Look it up.
blue1995
Bluelighter
Yeah, definitely don't believe the romance novels or porn and whatnot. It isn't the case that every woman but you is cumming her brains out every time there's a dick in the room, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. As was said, the majority of women need additional stimulation besides just some guy pounding away on her. A bit of clit stimulation along with plain ol' intercourse does the trick for me, and I'm not shy about doing it myself. It's not "extra" it's just part of a sexual experience. It turns guys on to see a girl touching herself, anyway - I've certainly never had any complaints. The fun part is experimenting to find what works for you with your partner, what you like best. You're there for an orgasm, too - don't feel bad at all about getting yours because he'll get his! Have fun!
70% of women can't come from vaginal penetration alone and need clitoral stimulation to get them to orgasm.
So it's the girls in the novels who are abnormal, you're completely normal dear!
Re sex, you have a few options:
1. Get off during foreplay and use lube to make vaginal intercourse more comfortable
2. Play with your clit during sex
3. Get the guy to play with your clit during sex
4. Get something like a vibrating cock ring or other toys designed to stimulate you during sex
5. Have sex until he comes then he can make you orgasm using toys or fingers or tongue...
So... lots of things to play with
most guys I've slept with get off on getting the girl off- it's a huge ego boost and a turn on - and they'd really, really appreciate any direction or guidance on the best way to help us get there 
So it's the girls in the novels who are abnormal, you're completely normal dear!
Re sex, you have a few options:
1. Get off during foreplay and use lube to make vaginal intercourse more comfortable
2. Play with your clit during sex
3. Get the guy to play with your clit during sex
4. Get something like a vibrating cock ring or other toys designed to stimulate you during sex
5. Have sex until he comes then he can make you orgasm using toys or fingers or tongue...
So... lots of things to play with
most guys I've slept with get off on getting the girl off- it's a huge ego boost and a turn on - and they'd really, really appreciate any direction or guidance on the best way to help us get there 
Mr.Scagnattie
Bluelighter
Sounds like you've just had shitty lovers... ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Lysis
Bluelighter
OP, if it gives you any confidence at all, I've never run into a guy who gets pissed at some kind of guidance. I don't know what female spreads that rumor, but she should be shot! Men generally love guidance and if they care about you, they want to see you get off. Even some guys who are just looking for some play time get off on a girl getting off. More men love to see a girl enjoy herself than just getting off themselves is common IMO unless you're just randomly hooking up with some dude at a bar. Most men love to see a girl enjoying it, so don't be afraid of any of that.
If they don't like to see you enjoy yourself, they are shitty lovers, plain and simple. Not worth your time.
If they don't like to see you enjoy yourself, they are shitty lovers, plain and simple. Not worth your time.
Gratuitous Grace
Bluelighter
Definitely. And tell him in a really erotic way ... he'll love it. Most guys aim to please you know.
No ... see above.
Why not? That's totally hot.
No ... see above.
No and no. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
I think so. Guys seem to be much more visual creatures than gals are.
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Pagey
Bluelight Crew
Can I ask how long you've been having sex/how much sexual experience you have?
You're definitely not out of the norm here, this is a rather common problem for women and absolutely nothing to feel bad about. I think it's actually pretty rare for women to be able to orgasm during intercourse from the get-go, it's more of a 'learned' orgasm, if that makes sense. It took me 2 and a half years of regular sex with my ex before I ever had one, even though I'd been able to get them on my own forever.
I think the advice that's been given in this thread so far is good - pinpoint the things that lead you to orgasm and find ways to include them in intercourse. It's also important not to focus on it too much! If you worry about it you're just making it harder to get one. One reassuring thing to keep in mind is IME, and from what I've heard from other women, once you do manage to orgasm through penetration once, it tends to happen much more easily in the future.
You're definitely not out of the norm here, this is a rather common problem for women and absolutely nothing to feel bad about. I think it's actually pretty rare for women to be able to orgasm during intercourse from the get-go, it's more of a 'learned' orgasm, if that makes sense. It took me 2 and a half years of regular sex with my ex before I ever had one, even though I'd been able to get them on my own forever.
I think the advice that's been given in this thread so far is good - pinpoint the things that lead you to orgasm and find ways to include them in intercourse. It's also important not to focus on it too much! If you worry about it you're just making it harder to get one. One reassuring thing to keep in mind is IME, and from what I've heard from other women, once you do manage to orgasm through penetration once, it tends to happen much more easily in the future.
Sounds like you've just had shitty lovers...
word
+ possibly inexperienced
Most guys enjoy pleasing a girl , even if she uses her hand or a toy for stimulation. Also some specific instruction is nice (not every dude is a Casanova or a Corazon lol). Makes them feel like they are awesome for making you cum(probably why many chicks are great actresses as well...).
I've been having sex for over 30 years. However, I've deliberately abstained from sex for 14 years (not a typo). After my 2nd divorce, the thought of having a relationship made my stomach turn. I'm in a new relationship now and I'm considering taking it to the next level. Another concern of mine is I've had a hysterectomy since the last time I've had sex. I have no idea if that will change things or not.