Sphinx (Afterlife)
Ex-Bluelighter
Ive used opium less than a handful of times. Heroin as well. Veteran cannabis smoker though. Ive never combined the three before, but I knew that if I did what I would experience would be greater than anything else.
So I had some issues with a female, and decided I needed an emotional vacation from the drama. I went down the street and scored some opium, heroin and mid-grade cannabis.
I took a pipe, cut up the weed and placed about half the bowl full with weed. I then took half a point of heroin and laid it out on a peice of wood, I took a nice juicy chunk of sticky opium and rolled it through the heroin until it was coated, and then put this white speckled deep brown ball ontop of the weed.
I started by placing the lighter underneath the bowl, and smoked the vapors coming off. After about a minute the vapors began to reduce greatly so I placed the lighter directly over the bowl, immediatly the opium/heroin ball began to liquify and seep into the weed coating it thoroughly. It got so coated I couldnt even get the weed to burn. Of course, by this point in time that was irrelevant, I was overcome with immense feelings of 'warmth', not hot warmth, but internal joy warmth. I went out onto the balcony and just stared at the mountains, the clouds rolling over thick jungle canopy, rays of sunlight exploding through onto coffee plantations, parrots squaking and car horns beeping. Everything seemed divinely beautiful, even those things man made had their own dignity to them, usually I look down at things man made, but in this mind set, everything was breath taking and awe inspiring. The colors, the smells, the taste of rainforest air, the wind caressing my skin in a way no woman could ever recreate. I got goosebumps down my entire body, every whisp of wind danced across my skin playin my nerves like a finely tuned guitar of goosebumps. Time seemed not to exist. My failed relationship seemed a lifetime away. Harmony had overcome me. Harmony, the thing ive sought the most in life, to just feel complete, to feel right, to feel I belong here in this moment right now and not in the future or the past. I felt human. I felt real. I felt right.
I stared, and stared, a smile slapped across my face (I rarely smile). I barely noticed that I was hardly breathing at all, it didint matter. I couldve died right then and there, and I wouldve been accepted into the universe as a whole.
I looked down onto the street below, every woman I saw seemed so incredibly beautiful to me, not in a sexual way, in a soulful way. I couldve fallen in love with any of them at that moment, I was alone, I am alone, I desired somone to be in my arms, yet, it felt as if I already had somone in them. I had passion, passion for everything in that moment, passion and harmony, two incredible feelings, which when combined at once, where something far greater than you could ever imagine. I was complete, for the first time in my life, I felt complete.
I ended up back inside, I laid down and watched TV, it didint matter what I was watching, it was beautiful, I accepted it and I loved it for just being it and being it for me when I was there. My heart felt incredible, my soul felt incredible, my skin felt incredible, my life felt incredible. My eyes watered with joy. I couldve told anyone anything theyd ever wanted to know about me right then and there, without a worry about it, for the universe had accepted everything I am at that moment, and if somone else couldnt, it was irrelevant, my true love, existence, was right there holding my hand.
I began to think about my first love, how she cheated on me, how it destroyed my heart, how it still effects me to this day and always will effect me for the rest of my life, still, I came to realise, she was the only person ive ever had who made my heart feel the way these drugs made it feel now. She was my hearts opium. God, how I miss her. I had tears rolling down my cheeks, yet a smile on my face, it was perfect, if I couldve taken a photo you couldve seen a human being as human as they could ever possibly be. To me, it was the most perfect harmony of pain and love, it was life, and it was true, and the truth was so fuckin beautiful it made me cry even more just thinkin about how beautiful it was.
If youve ever seen that movie American Beauty with that kid and his plastic bag, and he starts crying at the simple beauty in it, thats me, thats me down to a T. Lifes beauty is something so incredible I cant comprehend why anyone even in their darkest of moments could end their life, theres just too much beauty in the world, too much to see and love and learn and feel. Perhaps thats why suicide happens, not because there isnt enough, but, because there is too much.
I could not really tell when the 'high' ended and life continued. It was irrelevant. I had found what I was looking for, perfect harmony.
Its hard to write a trip report on drugs that dont make you trip. The only trip of these drugs, is emotional trip, and emotion cannot be properly conveyed by language, only by touch.
In my past experiences;
opioids = harmony of the heart
marijuana = passion of the soul
combined, it is something so real it could only be described as surreal.
So I had some issues with a female, and decided I needed an emotional vacation from the drama. I went down the street and scored some opium, heroin and mid-grade cannabis.
I took a pipe, cut up the weed and placed about half the bowl full with weed. I then took half a point of heroin and laid it out on a peice of wood, I took a nice juicy chunk of sticky opium and rolled it through the heroin until it was coated, and then put this white speckled deep brown ball ontop of the weed.
I started by placing the lighter underneath the bowl, and smoked the vapors coming off. After about a minute the vapors began to reduce greatly so I placed the lighter directly over the bowl, immediatly the opium/heroin ball began to liquify and seep into the weed coating it thoroughly. It got so coated I couldnt even get the weed to burn. Of course, by this point in time that was irrelevant, I was overcome with immense feelings of 'warmth', not hot warmth, but internal joy warmth. I went out onto the balcony and just stared at the mountains, the clouds rolling over thick jungle canopy, rays of sunlight exploding through onto coffee plantations, parrots squaking and car horns beeping. Everything seemed divinely beautiful, even those things man made had their own dignity to them, usually I look down at things man made, but in this mind set, everything was breath taking and awe inspiring. The colors, the smells, the taste of rainforest air, the wind caressing my skin in a way no woman could ever recreate. I got goosebumps down my entire body, every whisp of wind danced across my skin playin my nerves like a finely tuned guitar of goosebumps. Time seemed not to exist. My failed relationship seemed a lifetime away. Harmony had overcome me. Harmony, the thing ive sought the most in life, to just feel complete, to feel right, to feel I belong here in this moment right now and not in the future or the past. I felt human. I felt real. I felt right.
I stared, and stared, a smile slapped across my face (I rarely smile). I barely noticed that I was hardly breathing at all, it didint matter. I couldve died right then and there, and I wouldve been accepted into the universe as a whole.
I looked down onto the street below, every woman I saw seemed so incredibly beautiful to me, not in a sexual way, in a soulful way. I couldve fallen in love with any of them at that moment, I was alone, I am alone, I desired somone to be in my arms, yet, it felt as if I already had somone in them. I had passion, passion for everything in that moment, passion and harmony, two incredible feelings, which when combined at once, where something far greater than you could ever imagine. I was complete, for the first time in my life, I felt complete.
I ended up back inside, I laid down and watched TV, it didint matter what I was watching, it was beautiful, I accepted it and I loved it for just being it and being it for me when I was there. My heart felt incredible, my soul felt incredible, my skin felt incredible, my life felt incredible. My eyes watered with joy. I couldve told anyone anything theyd ever wanted to know about me right then and there, without a worry about it, for the universe had accepted everything I am at that moment, and if somone else couldnt, it was irrelevant, my true love, existence, was right there holding my hand.
I began to think about my first love, how she cheated on me, how it destroyed my heart, how it still effects me to this day and always will effect me for the rest of my life, still, I came to realise, she was the only person ive ever had who made my heart feel the way these drugs made it feel now. She was my hearts opium. God, how I miss her. I had tears rolling down my cheeks, yet a smile on my face, it was perfect, if I couldve taken a photo you couldve seen a human being as human as they could ever possibly be. To me, it was the most perfect harmony of pain and love, it was life, and it was true, and the truth was so fuckin beautiful it made me cry even more just thinkin about how beautiful it was.
If youve ever seen that movie American Beauty with that kid and his plastic bag, and he starts crying at the simple beauty in it, thats me, thats me down to a T. Lifes beauty is something so incredible I cant comprehend why anyone even in their darkest of moments could end their life, theres just too much beauty in the world, too much to see and love and learn and feel. Perhaps thats why suicide happens, not because there isnt enough, but, because there is too much.
I could not really tell when the 'high' ended and life continued. It was irrelevant. I had found what I was looking for, perfect harmony.
Its hard to write a trip report on drugs that dont make you trip. The only trip of these drugs, is emotional trip, and emotion cannot be properly conveyed by language, only by touch.
In my past experiences;
opioids = harmony of the heart
marijuana = passion of the soul
combined, it is something so real it could only be described as surreal.
