Opioid withdrawal, Xanax, Clonidine - Inexperienced - the "anti-drug" trip report
(anti drug meaning opposite of drug experience)
This took place a while ago.. and i'm writing because it seems there is no similar reports. i am piecing it together from actual journal reports, summarizing them.
Addiction: oxy ~80mg a day/ nasal or methadone 50+mg for stable; 120+mg oxy for high; sometimes interspersed kratom in addition
duration of heavy use: ~13 months
Setting: summer, work at factory about 3 days/week,
It started due to loss of a relationship, my first love, an important girl. i'd tried opiates quite a few times, and had a fairly nice time, but didnt find them to have euphoric effects without nausea and irritability; i preferred benzos/pot. but i found that opiates did something special- they took away that loss feeling and made me feel close to normal. This kept up, and i'd say my addiction really started with a large fentanyl patch i smoked over the course of the night, and almost stopped breathing. it was amazing though, and once the addiction started, so did the pleasure rushes.
i decided to stop because the cost was extreme and i was always tired and felt very unhealthy. i wanted to be free. i did cold turkey.
hour 24-72: cold sweats, electric flow through my legs making me want to run but too tired. got clonidine; it helps but for just a short time and becomes worse once it wears off. xanax is the same way but i only take for sleep, which i get about an hour at a time. mental anguish, all things repressed with the joy of opiate intoxication rushing out like a bad acid trip. mental overload; pure cold anxiety. cruel self-inspection turning brutal. no sleep. cant socialize with family, pure misery. can barely walk or have simple energy to do little things like get a drink. with runny nose, diahrea, and quite a bit of sneezing i say i have a flu. but it is much worse. i have a 100.1 degree temp and dilated pupils; sympathetic nervous system activated in bad way... cravings actually low due to the harsh reality of how addictive it was; just get through this, i say.
72-120- some periodic low-side-effect times, but physical symptoms persist angrily though, along with mental. craving returning. "just one more" it says. i silence it with rationale, something i havent had in a while. i felt some control now.called off work hr 74; had to go in hr 98 though.. for 8 hours. it was very difficult. i barely made it through and was very unproductive. time dilation amplified intensely; a minute literally seemed like 20. muscles so very weak. the withdrawal obviously has a nasty effect on my body; i barely eat so i am malnourished, causing more misery. hard to stay hydrated. take some immodium occasionally to help with that. hard to find good dose/timing for it; can cause rebound effects like anything else.
day 6-12 most physical effects gone except getting easily dehydrated. fatigue easing up slowly but persisting. social interaction more desirable. sexual and musical enjoyment amplified. feelings of intense anxiety and doom, lack of self worth, suicidal ideation much less intense, only occuring periodically. mood swings apparent; after listening to good music or having orgasm, i have a bad crash with depression. starting to get more food appetite also, which was absent the first 5 days. get some intense cravings very hard to overcome. i try to exercise them out of me, and it works. exercise saved me from relapse.
day 13-20- a slow improvement of above side effects; music/sexual pleasure going down a little and leveling off.
day 21+ - feel pretty normal! starting to feel natural opiate feeling when awaking in the morning and with onset of sleep! and with exercise i feel it! and now its all natural. still get fatigue, depression, anxiety, and craving moments at times but they are less intense. its so great to be out of that shithole...
(anti drug meaning opposite of drug experience)
This took place a while ago.. and i'm writing because it seems there is no similar reports. i am piecing it together from actual journal reports, summarizing them.
Addiction: oxy ~80mg a day/ nasal or methadone 50+mg for stable; 120+mg oxy for high; sometimes interspersed kratom in addition
duration of heavy use: ~13 months
Setting: summer, work at factory about 3 days/week,
It started due to loss of a relationship, my first love, an important girl. i'd tried opiates quite a few times, and had a fairly nice time, but didnt find them to have euphoric effects without nausea and irritability; i preferred benzos/pot. but i found that opiates did something special- they took away that loss feeling and made me feel close to normal. This kept up, and i'd say my addiction really started with a large fentanyl patch i smoked over the course of the night, and almost stopped breathing. it was amazing though, and once the addiction started, so did the pleasure rushes.
i decided to stop because the cost was extreme and i was always tired and felt very unhealthy. i wanted to be free. i did cold turkey.
hour 24-72: cold sweats, electric flow through my legs making me want to run but too tired. got clonidine; it helps but for just a short time and becomes worse once it wears off. xanax is the same way but i only take for sleep, which i get about an hour at a time. mental anguish, all things repressed with the joy of opiate intoxication rushing out like a bad acid trip. mental overload; pure cold anxiety. cruel self-inspection turning brutal. no sleep. cant socialize with family, pure misery. can barely walk or have simple energy to do little things like get a drink. with runny nose, diahrea, and quite a bit of sneezing i say i have a flu. but it is much worse. i have a 100.1 degree temp and dilated pupils; sympathetic nervous system activated in bad way... cravings actually low due to the harsh reality of how addictive it was; just get through this, i say.
72-120- some periodic low-side-effect times, but physical symptoms persist angrily though, along with mental. craving returning. "just one more" it says. i silence it with rationale, something i havent had in a while. i felt some control now.called off work hr 74; had to go in hr 98 though.. for 8 hours. it was very difficult. i barely made it through and was very unproductive. time dilation amplified intensely; a minute literally seemed like 20. muscles so very weak. the withdrawal obviously has a nasty effect on my body; i barely eat so i am malnourished, causing more misery. hard to stay hydrated. take some immodium occasionally to help with that. hard to find good dose/timing for it; can cause rebound effects like anything else.
day 6-12 most physical effects gone except getting easily dehydrated. fatigue easing up slowly but persisting. social interaction more desirable. sexual and musical enjoyment amplified. feelings of intense anxiety and doom, lack of self worth, suicidal ideation much less intense, only occuring periodically. mood swings apparent; after listening to good music or having orgasm, i have a bad crash with depression. starting to get more food appetite also, which was absent the first 5 days. get some intense cravings very hard to overcome. i try to exercise them out of me, and it works. exercise saved me from relapse.
day 13-20- a slow improvement of above side effects; music/sexual pleasure going down a little and leveling off.
day 21+ - feel pretty normal! starting to feel natural opiate feeling when awaking in the morning and with onset of sleep! and with exercise i feel it! and now its all natural. still get fatigue, depression, anxiety, and craving moments at times but they are less intense. its so great to be out of that shithole...
