THCified
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2012
- Messages
- 1,306
Hi Gals and Guys, fellow Readers and Friends; or 'To all those being interested in hearing what i've to say, while desperately hoping to find some answers or hints, or whatever one has to contribute to the following confessions I have to make...not just to all of you reading this, but also myself!
At first i planned on using this thread for my own experiences (or better, my HiStory), not just to share my Experiences with Opiates/Opioids and related Testosterone Deficiency but also to warn people to think twice before probably, or most likely surely doing the same fatal mistakes I’ve made - even though i thought of everything's being ok, when it in fact was not. But first things first...
I think i haven't had much -if any- posts in the last few months, even though i always liked to share my drug-/ and medical-compound related experiences - may it just to write down something to help myself for the sake of writing it down and to make myself a clear picture of where i am/what I became, or at the very best, to contribute something helpful to all you other drug addicts - or, because i really do think there are at least some of those lucky ones which are capable of being able to control their drug-related behaviour -, even if it's, without much of a doubt, the minority of people reading/writing here at Bluelight.
My forum abstinence was because of something you'll (if you're really interested) perhaps be more easily able to understand within the next few minutes, in the following lines i just wrote below.
So today, on 29th of November, and more important after coming down to the -needless to say- deepest point of ones life of continuous drug (ab)use – for me mostly being more of an ab-, than just the –use-, with my first drug experiences, of course, being the consumption of alcohol.
So i think and say -and i think i'm not alone with this opinion- it's total crap when i hear people claiming THC is the so-called ‘Gateway Drug', because it defo isn't - it's Alcohol! It's readily available for each and everyone -even if underage- and something that made me more curious about how other 'things' might feel like. What followed was an almost seamless switch to massively abusing my ever-since beloved (−)-trans-Δ9-tetrahydrocannabinol, better known as Tetrahydrocannabinol/THC - and without much doubt the second-most abused drug on the planet - besides Alcohol. Or am i wrong? I really don't think so, and even though i think smoking the Weed didn't do as much harm as MANY will say/think, it surely -and i'm totally aware of this and at least nowadays honest with myself- had a massive impact on my Psyche, and so also inevitably on what's going on in 'my Head', or to be precise: my Personality, i.e. most of what i am today. Sounds tragic? Perhaps…
..but i also do know that Alcohol was the Initiator, the one drug that made me 'open' for others to follow; and even today i don't know which one of those two did more harm to my mental, and at least to an extent, physical health? I think and -just to make this clear- furthermore keep on consuming both of those two drugs even nowadays just as i did all the years before - but with much more moderation as i did when i was younger. What I realized way too late was, that I trained myself -or my brain, to be more precise- to (re)act almost purely operating by external stimuli, i.e. the drugs I took - simply because I was able to get into whatever mood i wanted to be.
It was way too easy…and even more reckless to do so for many many years, but as we learn from our mistakes, we grow and evolve, and so did i.
Did I?
Thinking about my THC consumption, for way too long time i totally overlooked -and to a significant degree even ignored- that it's something much more powerful than most of us 'Potheads', (or whatever you wanna call it/us), if ones being honest, don't dare to confess.
And even if so? Would one change something if it's a thing she/he's so deep into, that without ever being able to deal with it's possible outcome - or as hard as it may sound, perhaps and to a certain extent even more matching: aftermath of a life-long poly-drug abuse?
I think we wouldn't change nothing! Like i did and many here, including me, still do - even if we should’ve known that each coin has two sides, but we usually just have an open Eye for the positive, but not the other negative that inevitably follows. But hey, this is, at least to a degree, totally human!
Remember that as we learn from our mistakes, we grow and evolve! Therefore, even as bad I might have felt the past months, I’d never completely regret what I’ve done.
But all of the previous things I just wrote, and you're damn right thinking so, has nothing to do with opioid Compounds/Opiates themselves - but i wanted to shed some light on my previous life, and how it came to the following, the reason for all this!
As someone with herniated vertebral discs in two sections of my body, unfortunately resulting in thankfully not permanent, massive crippling pains with increasingly pronounced numbness in my extremities, which can suddenly turn me from a 'more or less'-healthy, I’d almost say agile person, to an 'Old Man', being barely able to get out of bet, let alone making it somewhat bearable to get trough the day/or at worst, work.
I'm getting prescribed Tramadol and Tilidine as well as Lyrica and Gabapentin, which i got after Ibuprofen and Diclofenac were not sufficient anymore, but also because of the the Ibuprofen's almost toxic-like effect to my stomach, even in justifiable dosages! Just gimme 1 to max. 2x 600mgs/day of Ibuprofen and it's almost guaranteed that i'm puking the hell out of me for the following 1-2 days, feeling like my stomachs on fire.
So after the back and nerve Pains got stronger, i wanted stronger Medication, surely also because of Tolerance but also because of, and i'm 100% honest with me regarding this, me recreationally abusing opioids, because they not only took away my pain, but also made me somewhat more stable, regarding the, sometimes really bad mood swings i'm experiencing more or less all of my life - at least back to the days i can remember! I 'thankfully' haven't got stronger Ope's prescribed till today, but i'm sure i'll have to in the near future. So, and what initially started with Kratom and was at first just for fun (and which I initially found totally disgusting, at the very early stages of trying it out), surprisingly turned into a decent -even if limited- relief of some of my back/nerve pains and also the, because of those countless years of being in constant pains and becoming increasingly more mental ill - an illness that slowly emerged and crept up far more and far stronger than i could've ever have thought of, and finally destroyed not only whole parts of my me as a regular person.
The abuse of some of the drugs i mentioned above surely played their part in contributing to this, but it really began to get more serious the longer i've had those years in constant pains and being left alone without an adequate medication and therapy.
Thing is, i, and i really should add this, had a personal very profound experience some years ago, which not only threw me completely out of my life as i knew it until then, but also resulted in me beginning doing sports, making a heavy diet and loosing weight; a lot of weight (~60+pounds). Within the process i noted someday, that my libido was non-existant, just as my capability of getting an errection. I knew it was because of the heavy diet and exercise i was doing - it was just too much for my body to handle. I slowly ended it when i was down to 5% Body Fat and looked like a ravenous clone of Dolph Lundgren - which was nice, tbh very nice, giving the fact that i was obese my whole life to that date.
I am and always was a poly-drug user -for somewhere in between 15-20yrs now- and, as said initially, came to the deepest point of everyone's taking drugs: namely me consuming the drug i ever said of -from day one of hearing about it- I'd never wanted to try. But the reason I limited myself/ or my consumption to not doing ‘this one thing’, wasn’t just because of the stigma associated with it –namely being the 'End of the Road' for most- but also, and last but not least, of me being at least somewhat aware of my weakness/disability to truly restrict myself!.
The one drug i still today, even after knowing what it has done to me, hate exactly as much as i love it, and almost needless to specify: Diacetylmorphine - a name that's inextinguishable infested within myself - the infamous Heroin. …and damn me, for being too curious/or stupid and break my own promise not to take it, whatever might have come! But I did!
It really wasn't that long, at least something positive, and i'd say it were around 2 1/2 - 3 months in total with an total consumption of approx. 10gs consumed during that time.
Much?
Not much?
At least for someone who was only experienced with the mostly lower potency Opioids and a few encounters with Oxycodone and Butyr-Fentanyl (a somewhat weaker Analogue Research Chemical of the highly potent Fentanyl, afaik not available anymore). What i know is, may it have been much or not, it was (even though everyone says this about the stuff she/he's ingesting) very high Quality #4 Heroin, easily dissolvable in water and therefore perfectly made to easily plug without much preparations. Injecting was out of question, and snorting it was just too much of a waste for this precious stuff – and so i consumed from Day One without a single day off, at first with moderation, but with time passing by, more and more frequent use, until i realized that my surroundings slowly but steadily's becoming aware that something's not right anymore. I mean i took the weirdest stuff, sometimes even in public, but the indescribable urge to do it again and again, to do ‘just a bit more', here and there, and so on...well, it was the first time i wasn't anymore able to go to work and act properly, while my energy levels dropped to a never-known of degree, and even worse, my libido being already noticeable (if negligible) impaired from just taking Kratom for some prolonged time - was after the shortest space of time, non-existent, just as my genitals were just there - but without the slightest urge AND much worse, capability of using them anymore!
I was -hell dammit- a middle aged Person, healthy, doing though exercise regularly and having a somewhat taxing job where i have to be on foot/active all the time, (mostly) eating high quality nutrition but not even able to get an erection anymore!
I must admit, i wasn't that much impressed/or shocked at first and thought of me being temporarily disabled in the sexual department, but now -even 6+ weeks since i had my last dose- my testerone levels are that low that even my Doc is baffled! And i’m saddened to be the first one –at least for my age- ever with such low Testosterone levels he had to check up!
I don't know exactly how much it was, but since i gave up taking the H -which i absolutely had to, and thankfully managed to do far more easy than I’d expect it to be- i took AH-7921, a Research Chemical Opioid which is commonly known as somewhat long-acting and, so I thought, just perfect Compound to get out of my, ever increasing addiction, and of course tolerance to Heroin. I think it's not that unusual that i, in the last stages of my Diacetylmorphine consumption, had to take more than 5x the amount i took the first time, and where even 60mgs of -in addition to them being already the instant release ones- finely powdered Oxycodone hadn’t much, if any effect – regardless if taken orally or rectally.
My tolerance was trough the roof so to speak!
With time came the results of my fatal decision of trying some H for awhile – needless to say:
I totally stopped doing my once so beloved exercise/weight training exactly as I completely stopped having the slightest bit of real interest in sexual intercourse and on top of that, having social interactions - but the bodily changes were much more dramatic, as i should see or realize very soon! I felt more and more ill, and even the H lost it’s magic of masking all those sizzling problems, now increasingly became worse and worse!
I couldn't even finish my days at work and had at least one total collapse in public. I think some of you can imagine how humiliating it was to wave white Flags because of me having no energy left, being a jittery puking mess, crying out loud whilst realizing the shit hit the well-known fan...something of which i'd never thought of happen to me, because i thought of me being strong once - and even under way worse conditions somehow always managing situations, when i was too down/ill and/or too-drugged-up from previous sessions (with whatever drug it may be, and there were many!).
But it became to much at a certain point – so much that i couldn’t have handled it without risking my job, relationship and/or literally speaking everything around or in my whole life.
To finally come to an end: i've had my Testosterone Levels checked at least 4x now in the last 3+-months, and all my tests showed way too low levels of Testosterone, or to be exact: the highest was 1.8ng/ml (and the worst, the newest one, was only 0.67ng/ml (!), which is absolutely no more than nothing (keeping in mind that a value below 1.0ng/ml is already an remarkably low, downright alarming test result – excluding the fact that I’m not that old).
The last result (i.e. 0.67ng/ml) has been attested just this week, so now, after i've also tried some 50mg Testosterone Gel (with negligible, but at least noticeable results for the time taken) for approx. 4-6 weeks, initially daily-, and then on a one day on/one day off-administration method, as requested by my Doc, which is now ~4-5+weeks ago-. I've had an appointment today to finally get a 1000mg Testosterone Injection. This is, amongst many other reasons because i'm actually as weak as one can be (having had more off-work days in the last 2 months than i was actually there), experiencing coginitive deficits like problems remembering stuff, while also, and this is by far the worst, suffering the most vile depressive moments i've ever had in my whole life, including bursting out in tears, at day without warning and at night after awaking from momentarily only short stages of sleep (1- max.3hrs at a time!). I think i don't even have had much, if any, REM-sleep since weeks, which results in me being tired all day and is surely also accountable in the unusually long recovery time it takes at the moment, especially after I’ve had somewhat out-of-the-ordinary physical stress).
Needless to say, my energy during the day is solely because of this heavily impaired; excluding the missing 'drive' and 'willpower' associated with regular Testosterone Levels.
I can’t really say I’m feeling much better since I’ve got the Injection today, perhaps not as weak as before, but time will tell.
What I wanted to ask is, can this all related to my previous H intake? I'm asking this because I had the feeling of my Testosterone levels being not as high as they should be, ever since my heavy diet/sports regimen i followed for some prolonged time - and a few years before i even have had thoughts about doing Opioid Compounds someday soon.
And furthermore I’m really interested to hear some anecdotal reports of people taking Buprenorphine for pain management, because I read of it being not as bad for ones Hormone levels as the other Opioids/Opiates. Thing is, even if I would like to stay clear of this class of chemical -I simply cannot- but honestly not only because of the herniated vertebral discs I mentioned above of which just Opioids giving me the temporarily relief, but also me sometimes wanting to enjoy them recreationally – even though I’ll keep this to a minimum!
And rest assured, that I’m not breaking this promise again someday… no no never! - even though I am, and in all honesty must be aware of the high possibility of nevertheless being prone to do so - especially after having irrevocably opened the Pandora’s box!
Thanks a lot for your interest (and hopefully also contributions) in advance, and taking your time reading all of this! Many thanks....
At first i planned on using this thread for my own experiences (or better, my HiStory), not just to share my Experiences with Opiates/Opioids and related Testosterone Deficiency but also to warn people to think twice before probably, or most likely surely doing the same fatal mistakes I’ve made - even though i thought of everything's being ok, when it in fact was not. But first things first...
I think i haven't had much -if any- posts in the last few months, even though i always liked to share my drug-/ and medical-compound related experiences - may it just to write down something to help myself for the sake of writing it down and to make myself a clear picture of where i am/what I became, or at the very best, to contribute something helpful to all you other drug addicts - or, because i really do think there are at least some of those lucky ones which are capable of being able to control their drug-related behaviour -, even if it's, without much of a doubt, the minority of people reading/writing here at Bluelight.
My forum abstinence was because of something you'll (if you're really interested) perhaps be more easily able to understand within the next few minutes, in the following lines i just wrote below.
So today, on 29th of November, and more important after coming down to the -needless to say- deepest point of ones life of continuous drug (ab)use – for me mostly being more of an ab-, than just the –use-, with my first drug experiences, of course, being the consumption of alcohol.
So i think and say -and i think i'm not alone with this opinion- it's total crap when i hear people claiming THC is the so-called ‘Gateway Drug', because it defo isn't - it's Alcohol! It's readily available for each and everyone -even if underage- and something that made me more curious about how other 'things' might feel like. What followed was an almost seamless switch to massively abusing my ever-since beloved (−)-trans-Δ9-tetrahydrocannabinol, better known as Tetrahydrocannabinol/THC - and without much doubt the second-most abused drug on the planet - besides Alcohol. Or am i wrong? I really don't think so, and even though i think smoking the Weed didn't do as much harm as MANY will say/think, it surely -and i'm totally aware of this and at least nowadays honest with myself- had a massive impact on my Psyche, and so also inevitably on what's going on in 'my Head', or to be precise: my Personality, i.e. most of what i am today. Sounds tragic? Perhaps…
..but i also do know that Alcohol was the Initiator, the one drug that made me 'open' for others to follow; and even today i don't know which one of those two did more harm to my mental, and at least to an extent, physical health? I think and -just to make this clear- furthermore keep on consuming both of those two drugs even nowadays just as i did all the years before - but with much more moderation as i did when i was younger. What I realized way too late was, that I trained myself -or my brain, to be more precise- to (re)act almost purely operating by external stimuli, i.e. the drugs I took - simply because I was able to get into whatever mood i wanted to be.
It was way too easy…and even more reckless to do so for many many years, but as we learn from our mistakes, we grow and evolve, and so did i.
Did I?
Thinking about my THC consumption, for way too long time i totally overlooked -and to a significant degree even ignored- that it's something much more powerful than most of us 'Potheads', (or whatever you wanna call it/us), if ones being honest, don't dare to confess.
And even if so? Would one change something if it's a thing she/he's so deep into, that without ever being able to deal with it's possible outcome - or as hard as it may sound, perhaps and to a certain extent even more matching: aftermath of a life-long poly-drug abuse?
I think we wouldn't change nothing! Like i did and many here, including me, still do - even if we should’ve known that each coin has two sides, but we usually just have an open Eye for the positive, but not the other negative that inevitably follows. But hey, this is, at least to a degree, totally human!
Remember that as we learn from our mistakes, we grow and evolve! Therefore, even as bad I might have felt the past months, I’d never completely regret what I’ve done.
But all of the previous things I just wrote, and you're damn right thinking so, has nothing to do with opioid Compounds/Opiates themselves - but i wanted to shed some light on my previous life, and how it came to the following, the reason for all this!
As someone with herniated vertebral discs in two sections of my body, unfortunately resulting in thankfully not permanent, massive crippling pains with increasingly pronounced numbness in my extremities, which can suddenly turn me from a 'more or less'-healthy, I’d almost say agile person, to an 'Old Man', being barely able to get out of bet, let alone making it somewhat bearable to get trough the day/or at worst, work.
I'm getting prescribed Tramadol and Tilidine as well as Lyrica and Gabapentin, which i got after Ibuprofen and Diclofenac were not sufficient anymore, but also because of the the Ibuprofen's almost toxic-like effect to my stomach, even in justifiable dosages! Just gimme 1 to max. 2x 600mgs/day of Ibuprofen and it's almost guaranteed that i'm puking the hell out of me for the following 1-2 days, feeling like my stomachs on fire.
So after the back and nerve Pains got stronger, i wanted stronger Medication, surely also because of Tolerance but also because of, and i'm 100% honest with me regarding this, me recreationally abusing opioids, because they not only took away my pain, but also made me somewhat more stable, regarding the, sometimes really bad mood swings i'm experiencing more or less all of my life - at least back to the days i can remember! I 'thankfully' haven't got stronger Ope's prescribed till today, but i'm sure i'll have to in the near future. So, and what initially started with Kratom and was at first just for fun (and which I initially found totally disgusting, at the very early stages of trying it out), surprisingly turned into a decent -even if limited- relief of some of my back/nerve pains and also the, because of those countless years of being in constant pains and becoming increasingly more mental ill - an illness that slowly emerged and crept up far more and far stronger than i could've ever have thought of, and finally destroyed not only whole parts of my me as a regular person.
The abuse of some of the drugs i mentioned above surely played their part in contributing to this, but it really began to get more serious the longer i've had those years in constant pains and being left alone without an adequate medication and therapy.
Thing is, i, and i really should add this, had a personal very profound experience some years ago, which not only threw me completely out of my life as i knew it until then, but also resulted in me beginning doing sports, making a heavy diet and loosing weight; a lot of weight (~60+pounds). Within the process i noted someday, that my libido was non-existant, just as my capability of getting an errection. I knew it was because of the heavy diet and exercise i was doing - it was just too much for my body to handle. I slowly ended it when i was down to 5% Body Fat and looked like a ravenous clone of Dolph Lundgren - which was nice, tbh very nice, giving the fact that i was obese my whole life to that date.
I am and always was a poly-drug user -for somewhere in between 15-20yrs now- and, as said initially, came to the deepest point of everyone's taking drugs: namely me consuming the drug i ever said of -from day one of hearing about it- I'd never wanted to try. But the reason I limited myself/ or my consumption to not doing ‘this one thing’, wasn’t just because of the stigma associated with it –namely being the 'End of the Road' for most- but also, and last but not least, of me being at least somewhat aware of my weakness/disability to truly restrict myself!.
The one drug i still today, even after knowing what it has done to me, hate exactly as much as i love it, and almost needless to specify: Diacetylmorphine - a name that's inextinguishable infested within myself - the infamous Heroin. …and damn me, for being too curious/or stupid and break my own promise not to take it, whatever might have come! But I did!
It really wasn't that long, at least something positive, and i'd say it were around 2 1/2 - 3 months in total with an total consumption of approx. 10gs consumed during that time.
Much?
Not much?
At least for someone who was only experienced with the mostly lower potency Opioids and a few encounters with Oxycodone and Butyr-Fentanyl (a somewhat weaker Analogue Research Chemical of the highly potent Fentanyl, afaik not available anymore). What i know is, may it have been much or not, it was (even though everyone says this about the stuff she/he's ingesting) very high Quality #4 Heroin, easily dissolvable in water and therefore perfectly made to easily plug without much preparations. Injecting was out of question, and snorting it was just too much of a waste for this precious stuff – and so i consumed from Day One without a single day off, at first with moderation, but with time passing by, more and more frequent use, until i realized that my surroundings slowly but steadily's becoming aware that something's not right anymore. I mean i took the weirdest stuff, sometimes even in public, but the indescribable urge to do it again and again, to do ‘just a bit more', here and there, and so on...well, it was the first time i wasn't anymore able to go to work and act properly, while my energy levels dropped to a never-known of degree, and even worse, my libido being already noticeable (if negligible) impaired from just taking Kratom for some prolonged time - was after the shortest space of time, non-existent, just as my genitals were just there - but without the slightest urge AND much worse, capability of using them anymore!
I was -hell dammit- a middle aged Person, healthy, doing though exercise regularly and having a somewhat taxing job where i have to be on foot/active all the time, (mostly) eating high quality nutrition but not even able to get an erection anymore!
I must admit, i wasn't that much impressed/or shocked at first and thought of me being temporarily disabled in the sexual department, but now -even 6+ weeks since i had my last dose- my testerone levels are that low that even my Doc is baffled! And i’m saddened to be the first one –at least for my age- ever with such low Testosterone levels he had to check up!
I don't know exactly how much it was, but since i gave up taking the H -which i absolutely had to, and thankfully managed to do far more easy than I’d expect it to be- i took AH-7921, a Research Chemical Opioid which is commonly known as somewhat long-acting and, so I thought, just perfect Compound to get out of my, ever increasing addiction, and of course tolerance to Heroin. I think it's not that unusual that i, in the last stages of my Diacetylmorphine consumption, had to take more than 5x the amount i took the first time, and where even 60mgs of -in addition to them being already the instant release ones- finely powdered Oxycodone hadn’t much, if any effect – regardless if taken orally or rectally.
My tolerance was trough the roof so to speak!
With time came the results of my fatal decision of trying some H for awhile – needless to say:
I totally stopped doing my once so beloved exercise/weight training exactly as I completely stopped having the slightest bit of real interest in sexual intercourse and on top of that, having social interactions - but the bodily changes were much more dramatic, as i should see or realize very soon! I felt more and more ill, and even the H lost it’s magic of masking all those sizzling problems, now increasingly became worse and worse!
I couldn't even finish my days at work and had at least one total collapse in public. I think some of you can imagine how humiliating it was to wave white Flags because of me having no energy left, being a jittery puking mess, crying out loud whilst realizing the shit hit the well-known fan...something of which i'd never thought of happen to me, because i thought of me being strong once - and even under way worse conditions somehow always managing situations, when i was too down/ill and/or too-drugged-up from previous sessions (with whatever drug it may be, and there were many!).
But it became to much at a certain point – so much that i couldn’t have handled it without risking my job, relationship and/or literally speaking everything around or in my whole life.
To finally come to an end: i've had my Testosterone Levels checked at least 4x now in the last 3+-months, and all my tests showed way too low levels of Testosterone, or to be exact: the highest was 1.8ng/ml (and the worst, the newest one, was only 0.67ng/ml (!), which is absolutely no more than nothing (keeping in mind that a value below 1.0ng/ml is already an remarkably low, downright alarming test result – excluding the fact that I’m not that old).
The last result (i.e. 0.67ng/ml) has been attested just this week, so now, after i've also tried some 50mg Testosterone Gel (with negligible, but at least noticeable results for the time taken) for approx. 4-6 weeks, initially daily-, and then on a one day on/one day off-administration method, as requested by my Doc, which is now ~4-5+weeks ago-. I've had an appointment today to finally get a 1000mg Testosterone Injection. This is, amongst many other reasons because i'm actually as weak as one can be (having had more off-work days in the last 2 months than i was actually there), experiencing coginitive deficits like problems remembering stuff, while also, and this is by far the worst, suffering the most vile depressive moments i've ever had in my whole life, including bursting out in tears, at day without warning and at night after awaking from momentarily only short stages of sleep (1- max.3hrs at a time!). I think i don't even have had much, if any, REM-sleep since weeks, which results in me being tired all day and is surely also accountable in the unusually long recovery time it takes at the moment, especially after I’ve had somewhat out-of-the-ordinary physical stress).
Needless to say, my energy during the day is solely because of this heavily impaired; excluding the missing 'drive' and 'willpower' associated with regular Testosterone Levels.
I can’t really say I’m feeling much better since I’ve got the Injection today, perhaps not as weak as before, but time will tell.
What I wanted to ask is, can this all related to my previous H intake? I'm asking this because I had the feeling of my Testosterone levels being not as high as they should be, ever since my heavy diet/sports regimen i followed for some prolonged time - and a few years before i even have had thoughts about doing Opioid Compounds someday soon.
And furthermore I’m really interested to hear some anecdotal reports of people taking Buprenorphine for pain management, because I read of it being not as bad for ones Hormone levels as the other Opioids/Opiates. Thing is, even if I would like to stay clear of this class of chemical -I simply cannot- but honestly not only because of the herniated vertebral discs I mentioned above of which just Opioids giving me the temporarily relief, but also me sometimes wanting to enjoy them recreationally – even though I’ll keep this to a minimum!
And rest assured, that I’m not breaking this promise again someday… no no never! - even though I am, and in all honesty must be aware of the high possibility of nevertheless being prone to do so - especially after having irrevocably opened the Pandora’s box!
Thanks a lot for your interest (and hopefully also contributions) in advance, and taking your time reading all of this! Many thanks....
