I'd love to have a full psychiatric evaluation tbh, just out of curiosity (don't get me started about 'diagnosis')
Apologies, but I just could not resist replying, despite you asking not to get you started on diagnosis.
The chances are relatively high that you might have undiagnosed ADHD and / or Autism.
Dunno if either of them ring as possiblities.
I'm not suggesting you come across in any way as either of those things btw, and apologies if any offense was caused as none was intended, its just mainly seeing as Generation X, which I assume you're also part of, went through our schooling whilst such conditions were considered 1 in 10,000 rarities, and were virtually unheard of, outside of specialist circles.
And there's so many 50 something, 60 something, and older males, and especially females, who remain undiagnosed, while the true prevalence rates are estimated to be around 1 in 33. It's nothing new, these conditions have always been there, at those rates. They've just not been picked up in earlier generations. There's no new "Autism Epidemic" as ill informed idiots like Trump and RFK would try to make out.
I've found it very helpful to get diagnosed, at least everything makes complete sense now, looking from the inside out.
Autism still has such huge social stigma though that I've only told my very closest immediate family, and various online communities.
ADHD doesnt have anywhere near as much social stigma. Most social circles would probably 'be cool with it' imo, But it's still a death knell for most employment prospects if most employers ever knew about either condition.
In theory, and in employment law, there's meant to be reasonable accommodations to be inclusive of diversity in the workplace. Tbh, such language would previously have had me snorting derisively at such a string of apparent PC words and terminology. It actually means something to me now though.
But it does not yet exist in reality, in most workplaces and cultures around the world. I think we're decades away, if it will ever happen at all. The direction things are going, it seems to me, these utopias will just get further and further away from being reality.
Still the diagnosis are helpful for making sense of things, as I say, and the usefulness of that cannot be overstated. The waiting lists for ADHD evaluations on the NHS are dreadful atm, 5 years or more is a commonly stated figure. It can be a couple of years for Autism too.