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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

opiates vs natural enjoyment

S

Speedaddict69

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 29, 2012
Messages
69
Location
Bham alabama
It seems like there is nothing better than an opiate high. Seeing my favorite football team win on Saturdays, getting involved with girls I have feelings for, accomplishments ex: getting an a on a difficult exam, physical thrills like jumping off a cliff into water or driving fast all take 2nd place. Every time I try to clean up my act I always find myself coming back to opiates and I'm amazed. Even reading William Burroughs talk about his habit is enticing. Is there anybody out there who can relate? Who can honestly say that opiates or whatever they do seems like the ceiling when it comes to feeling good? And I know life is not all about feeling good, but it certainly helps.
 
Honestly, life is boring being sober IMHO.... I always have more fun, even with just 1 percocet in me. If i have opiates in me, even just watching traffic drive by is enjoyment. Its so bad for me, that i set my alarm clock every morning for 8am EST just to wake up and drink coffee and crush up a few perks. The best buzz is when you just wake up. You're not the only one though. (hope i understood that correctly)
 
SA and 512: eventually that will pass. There won't be a buzz; you'll just feel like crap without opiates.
Speed addict, here's the problem with your assessment .. Yes of course AT FIRST opiates feel better than a natural high from enjoyment etc.. But eventually, you won't get a high from anything. Your regular opiate dose won't give you a high, and things you previously enjoyed will become a huge pain in the ass. You will lose all your hobbies and friends because it's easier just to sit home and use. Besides, it's almost like the opiates blunt the enjoyment from regular activities. At first it makes everything seem better, but it's a short honeymoon period.
 
I've had this question for a longer time - but from another point of view ... personally, I don't like opioids. Really. They don't work, or my genetics don't work with them. At best (like for butyl-fentanyl or AH-7921 - the atypicals.. and I have done AH from anything between 20 and over 200 mg) it's sort of a better benzodiazepine, calming to sedating and to get rid of bad thoughts. But euphoria?

Then there are the structurally typical ones, like heroine or oxymorphone, also methadone. They tend to have a weird synthetical stimulation to them - even with a low dose of good quality heroine I could not sleep half of the night, despite taking clonidine which otherwise always puts me asleep.

Also I have some ugly kind of "natural" dysphoria or anhedonia. Well, that is why I tried so many drugs, at least part of..

But it's not that I can't experience good feelings. It just does not work as expected.. I think dopamine is what really makes life glowing, at least for me. On some occasions, a DRI combined with a low dose of NMDA antagonist brought me into sunny euphoric bliss that felt just so pure and natural that I had tears in my eyes of unexpected happiness. And -that- feeling I really crave, yes- Opiates are nothing in comparison (thankfully, maybe).

The next thing that might come close, but with a huge difference in that it feels ..different, seems to be a flood of serotonin. This has that "just watching the world is enjoyment" kind of effect- but tolerance sets in soon and there are many drawbacks.

--

Well- I'm really wondering if my endorphine system does not work.. maybe genetically?
 
I've been on opiates for 6 years. Yes it does take more to get me high. But I still get that enjoyment factor. I do have to say. Sometimes I don't get it as much. But I still get it just as if it were day 1. Maybe its because I'm weird. Maybe its placebo. But it still works after 6 years.
 
That "just watching the world in enjoyment" is fucking awesome isn't it lol
 
Opiates are awsome . life is much more pleasurable on em .. Yes . some say its sad. But o well
 
If you use powerful drugs like opiates on a regular basis you lose your perspective. Yes, opiates feel fantastic, but even after mild use when you aren't dependent sobriety afterwards will seem dreary and dull, but honestly having experienced both opiate addiction and now sober life, finding natural enjoyment in normal activities feels so much better than living life in an opiate induced haze.
 
Agree with u also ! Totally .. To me opiates are amazing.. And yeah its not good. But being sober (not withdrawling) beats any feeling
 
512 said:
I've been on opiates for 6 years. Yes it does take more to get me high. But I still get that enjoyment factor. I do have to say. Sometimes I don't get it as much. But I still get it just as if it were day 1. Maybe its because I'm weird. Maybe its placebo. But it still works after 6 years.
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That's lucky! And I've only been on them daily for probably a yr and a half. I only really felt dreamy/happy/motivated at first. Maybe the first month.

I do still get the feeling though when I'm in hospital and given dilly by injection
 
I love the dilly injection lol I always pray I get that nurse that pushes it fast lmao. I hate the ones who come in and push it really slow. Like literally takes 5 minutes for a 4mg push. Honestly I've experienced both regular pleasure and opiate pleasure. I prefer the high life. Its just me. Crisize it or not. Its just me
 
I can honestly say that after using all legal opioids available in my location there are nothing more better than huge dose of endorphins after prolonged adrenaline rush or simple overexhaustion.

The first time with opioids gave me that same feeling I had for example when collapsing on the finish line of Iron Man competition or getting into a firefight in Mazar-i-Sharif while protecting staff from various aid organizations and then driving the hell out after getting all the civvies back in the car.

My current physical condition won't allow those anymore so I am stuck with these nearly as rushy but in the same time so sedative feelings that opioids give.
 
YUP. Opes #1 for sure. Only good thing about being clean is not being sick that's ALL. Memory loss? Fuck a memory. Memories are flawed anyways. I'm on hydros right now and feel ok. :)
 
Well this thread makes me hate myself.. But yea I agree an opiate high in terms of pure hedonistic pleasure is number one for me, no natural/instinctual thrill makes me feel nearly as good. A natural psychedelic on the other hand, makes me emotionally and spiritually fulfilled, what opiates do not do.
 
Very true brother, one huge lesson I've been learning lately, to just let certain things go. My fear is strong with opiates though, how they are starting to change me and interfere too much with my life(I'm still what i'd consider early into my addiction). All of that said, I am not ready to quit this habit yet and that is my choice, that I must learn to live with.
 
Zi3m said:
Very true brother, one huge lesson I've been learning lately, to just let certain things go. My fear is strong with opiates though, how they are starting to change me and interfere too much with my life(I'm still what i'd consider early into my addiction). All of that said, I am not ready to quit this habit yet and that is my choice, that I must learn to live with.
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I hear you on that one. It definitely can have a huge impact on everything even early in the addiction. Please don't blow out your tolerance like I have. My highs aren't beautiful like they used to be. They just feel "good" now.
 
Yeah I'm not ready to quite either. I thought I was but I just love to be high. Chances are I'll never be ready. I'm still productive have a job and take care of my family so I don't see any issues with our at all. Right? To each is their own I think is how the saying goes right? Honestly I love and prefer the opiate high over life's actual highs. Opiates do an amazing job of potentiating life's great moment. So why not have the best of both worlds in my opinion?
 
Speedaddict69 said:
It seems like there is nothing better than an opiate high. Seeing my favorite football team win on Saturdays, getting involved with girls I have feelings for, accomplishments ex: getting an a on a difficult exam, physical thrills like jumping off a cliff into water or driving fast all take 2nd place. Every time I try to clean up my act I always find myself coming back to opiates and I'm amazed. Even reading William Burroughs talk about his habit is enticing. Is there anybody out there who can relate? Who can honestly say that opiates or whatever they do seems like the ceiling when it comes to feeling good? And I know life is not all about feeling good, but it certainly helps.
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Yes I believe there is nothing better than the warmth of opiates. They are bad for you. We try to get away from this. But I think that´s the ceiling.
That´s the Apple we couldn´t eat. Because we are eternally banned from that feeling you had when you first tried.
Nothing is comparable to that. And this is NOT an endorsement or apology for opiates. It´s really how I see it.
That´s artificial and you will suffer the consequences, but you can´t deny and say this wasn´t the best you ever felt when you did it first.
I try not to think about it. And it´s working for some time now.
 
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