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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Opiates (Fentanyl) destroying my life (Wish me luck)

OP, make a deal with yourself while you are going through WDs and PAWS that you will try not to worry or even think too much about strange things that could be happening in either your body or your mind. Worrying about whether they are from withdrawal or something wrong just focuses your mind on all your symptoms. Unless something is very serious, try to let it go. Practice affirmations ( I am healing very deep wounds) and calming mantras (everything is OK). They can focus the mind positively. You are doing great!<3
 
herbavore said:
OP, make a deal with yourself while you are going through WDs and PAWS that you will try not to worry or even think too much about strange things that could be happening in either your body or your mind. Worrying about whether they are from withdrawal or something wrong just focuses your mind on all your symptoms. Unless something is very serious, try to let it go. Practice affirmations ( I am healing very deep wounds) and calming mantras (everything is OK). They can focus the mind positively. You are doing great! ----Great affirmations!
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CfZrx said:
OpiateHell!! Thanks for your story. I am finding these Hell of Withdrawal stories motivating as I begin day 12 of my taper from 120 mg IV and 45mg oral to only 60 mg oral. Benzos pretty much get your mind off it ime. Peace, once you get out of hell don't go back :) :)
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Congratulations!! You can make it :)
 
Hey good job getting it off your chest.....it's emotional when you are using yet still pissed off! I just recently (37 days recently) quit snorting 6 to 8 grams of pure white powder fentanyl for 7 years straight.... I asked a doctor if I could die, and explained the severity and longevity of my using....and they all said no! They did say to come into detox and pay $5k for 5-7 days of nurse care detox so I asked what they will do different and they said well, not much maybe give you valume for comfort but that's it! So I called the person I respect most whom had no idea and asked my MOM whom had no clue I was on anything (I make $240k yr in real estate, I worked out almost daily for years until the end, very involved in my daughter life..etc) I had a great mask out on but I was done!!! For me I was done! I love how you say "I will succeed" because I got out because of my will power! And some good friends and family! I leaned on them for the first time in some cases and some friends never used I just needed the people I look up to and look up to me to hold me accountable...even with your heavy usage if you walked up to me randomly and looked me in the eye as a total stranger and said "I'm a fuckin addict and I've fucked up for too long and I WILL QUIT AND I WILL SUCCEED, and there is absolutely no PLAN B" and if I could really feel you believed in yourself we'll then I'd bet my bank account on it! A person willpower, dedication, and all out obsession to change trumps "circumstances" in my book!
 
Oh don't forget very important supps to have on hand immediately and throughout the coming month;
l-tyrosine
passionflower
5htp
Copper
b complex
salmon oil
probiotics
magnesium
 
Thank you for all you kind words everyone. And yes i need to escape this hell. I will also not try to think about my body too much, i am already a bit of a hypochondriac so i need to quit that. Thanks for all the advice everyone.

WantToBeReborn said:
How are you getting on?
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I am still withdrawing pretty hard, last week when i had to stay functional i had to get back on about 1 patch and 200mg tramadol*2. Now i reduced my dosage again this weekend.
Am now on half a patch on my body every 3th day(12,5mcg/h instead of the original 1,5 of 37,5mcg/h).
So again a pretty big reduction.

I really want to quit the tramadol as well, so i bought kratom for the first time. I know it will just be a substitute because it works on opiod receptors as well, but i find some relief of it. I can get about 3 hours of sleep a day and am semi functional.

Luckily i have no pressing obligations except my thesis now, i am done at the company. Still have 10 weeks for my thesis, and i already finished a substantial bit.

So i am trying to get semi stable this week. I am now on half a patch every 72 hours instead of the 1,5 every 48 hours. So i got 12,5mcg total an hour. I quit the tramadol and substituted it with kratom and short cheecking when withdrawal is unbearable. So i hope i will stabilize in about a week. I will try to lessen the cheeking as the week progresses. But it sucks, if i dont stabilize within 2 weeks(mental clarity), i will go back on 1 patch again every 48 hours, so i can finish my thesis.

It's sad, but i dont want to fail my most important moments in life due to me lacking mental clarity due to the severe withdrawal.

Hopefully these 2 weeks of forcing myself to withdraw will drop my tolerance some more.

All is not invain, i dropped an enormous amount from when i made this thread.

Now just laying on the couch still in substantial withdrawal, trying to survive the minutes go by.
 
Well done. You're doing really well. It's just a matter of time and patience. I know how much it sucks. It's understandable you don't want to lose everything you've worked towards while dealing with withdrawal. Slow and steady wins this race sometimes. You know what's right for you. Just take it a day at a time and remember everything passes in time. Freedom is waiting for you. I'm 9 months clean from opiates today. It feels fantastic being free from active addiction. I know you can do this. The rest of your life is waiting and soon this will be just a memory.
 
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