opiates: destroyer of relationships?

[szuko000]

Well I guess its finally gotten to the point where i post this on a public forum.

My girlfriend and i are starting to get bad with opiates. What started off as a benign thing has blown up into this horrible issue. I guess i should start from the beginning.

When we first met last year we were both in a rough spot. We were both depressed and use to having the world walk all over us in a sense. We fell in love so quickly. We use to only smoke weed, but everyday. That all changed when me being the curious fuck i am got jwh-018. We developed a tiny issue with that burning through about 0.5g a day then up to 1 a day. When it got really out of hand we both decided to stop somehow.

But the opiate tale starts last summer...
I'll never forget that day for some reason. My love for them started before this i just never pursued them because i knew where it would lead. She kept telling me how great sex on oxy is and i never did opiates unless i was alone and depressed so i decided to pull some strings and get us an 80. It was great, it was only 40mgs and i got sick. This is when we started smoking alot of jwh we decided to quit. It was stupid but oxys were the substitute. Still benign and innocent only doing a 30 each every week. Then that became 2 times a week then faster then i realized it was increasing amounts consumed. from sept. to jan. it went from taking 2 pills for the 2 of us to 4. Then i got a connection the price dropped and availability increased. I would go through bouts where id cry and tell her we were killing ourselves and our relationship, the one good thing in my life. Those tears dried up and passed as always neither my fault or hers.

Sometime in march we discovered very shitty heroin it was ok sightly cheaper then our now unquenchable thirst for oxys. That faded as it wasnt good at all. I end up being great at getting money and we get 2 grand that no one knows about and i blow it all on oxys in 1.5 months. Things are getting bad now as we need 5-6 to get good between the two of us. This is when i start blowing full pay checks on pay day. That continued till recently.

We have discovered good heroin. Its everything i had heard cheaper stronger lasts longer. Its great now i dont spend the 180 on a night like i would its literally 1/3 of that. Well as you can all imagine now its directly affecting my life. We are both very pissy and short shes always been upset but now its worse. What use to be cured by my love and weed is now only made worse by the two of them. All i know is if i manage to get opiates everything will be ok we will tell eachother sweet lies of traveling, being happy and quitting. It will all be over the next day and i will be broke once again.

I honestly dont know why im posting this. I know the advice everyone is going to give. You have to understand though I never saw myself in this position, i am deeply concerned that we are going to lose the ability to relate or draw happiness from eachother. Shes the love of my life and id do anything to see her smile. I know where it starts and thats quitting but im worried about where it might end. I'm not saying she doesnt love me anymore im just saying she doesnt show it as much.

Im sorry this must read all disorganized and crazy but i love her so much and it seems as though i have to keep all this inside of me. To the point where my friends dont even know, or id like to think they dont know at all. I dont even know why i posted this... I still gotta act like this isnt my life.

I guess someone just tell me they went through it and got to keep the love of there life, i dont want to tell the story of how somehow this was the end of the one good thing in my life, or the one girl i thought id love forever.

 

[Lawrence Arms]

Alright man first off, if you can smoke weed there is no reason for any type of k2 no matter what. <I know you meant well by your comment but we generally don't recommend that addicts transfer to a different drug in order to quit their current DOA - n3o>
Next, you have to realize that either there are other fish in the sea, and there ar e, no matter how you feel now there will always be another down the line, or you both have to quit together. You can both get through it but together is always harder especially if one of the two relapses...happened to me. Or you can both go down that road of addiction together but in my experience, it does not end up well in any shape, personal or relational. You know inside what you want to do. Good luck to you man.

 

[pastelcircus]

yes, sinker of the ships.
and dicks.
and funds
and everything else man, bad news.
opiates made my ex so pissy to the point i couldn't be around sometimes.
on the other hand, i took way too huge of a hit of h and started bawling and screaming

but yeah, if you're seeking drugs like that to have enjoyment together, it might be pretty much over
maybe you could both sober up together and make it a point to live healthy lives and support each other in that,
just as long as you are both genuine and one or both don't relapse and make excuses.

 

[muvolution]

honestly, man, you should be worried about much more than your relationship...

you are a (functioning, it sounds like) addict. But still an addict. I don't know if you know that or not, but you should confront it. You took the classic opiate train and it has two stops at the end, rehab (treatment), or death. As myself any many others on this forum can confirm, treatment is your best bet. But there are alot of bluelight members in the shrine that will attest to death. You still haven't totally fucked up your life, but you are on the way, maybe (hopefully?) you will decide to do something about it.

Suboxone
Methadone
Therapy
Rehab
Cold Turkey Knuckle Under and quit
it doesn't matter how you do it, just do it.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Being an addict on your own is hard enough, but having two addicts together in a relationship makes quitting twice as difficult. I know because my boyfriend and I are both alcoholics. It's damn near impossible for us to both quit and stick to it. One of us always caves, and then the other natually follows.

BUT it is possible for two addicts to quit together, and to stay clean. It's hard work but you can definitely do it. I know you love each other with all of your heart and soul but for the sake of both of your individual health and lives, you need to seriously weigh up if you can honestly get clean together. If you think you can do this together, that is fantastic, and you should get started as soon as you're both ready. If you decide that you can't get clean while being together, maybe you could even take a period of separation while you're both getting clean, and then reunite when you can both manage life sober.

I would strongly recommend that you start by both speaking to a drug counsellor, to get the ball rolling and to see what their opinion is. I wish you both the best of luck, and keep us updated with how you're going okay?

 

[Legerity]

Yeah man being in a relationship where you both use the same substance is really difficult to pull out of, at least in my experience. When you have that other person to find comfort it, to talk about how great things are gonna be one day, etc., etc., it has a very strong pull.

You'll have to decide what is your priority right now. If it's getting off the opiates, then you may have to be willing to do so whether your girlfriend does or not. If your decisions are based on another person's actions then they are not going to be as solid.

I'm sure the girl is special for you and that you care a lot about her. I would just be careful about letting these types of intense relationships making decisions for you if those decisions are not in your own best interest.

It's all up to you man...all the best .