My boyfriend and I've been together since last August, I first started using heroin with him whilst I was struggling from tapering off benzos whilst he was already addicted and using everyday. I first tried to get help a month in, and on and off of subutex since November. I keep failing at getting out (depression and anxiety) everyday and losing my script. My boyfriend is now ready and up for quitting heroin too, like me has been put on subutex script. We aren't doing so well getting clean together. Part of me thinks we should let go of each other, concentrate on getting sober and healthy ourselves and see how things work.
I don't know.. I'm just sick of being the one with the motivation to get off it and hate being around it. Today we planned on being clean and going to get the subutex, but I woke up to him smoking gear on my floor. He looked shocked I woke up as my sleeping pills knock me out. He lied and lied saying it was leftovers from a festival at the weekend (which he took my card and spent a fair amount without asking.). I know there was nothing left though, as we finished smoking it there! Turns out he had bought another bunch of heroin before I was up and smoking up again. It's not that which bothered me, more of how he lied so easily to my face about it and I trusted him 100%. I know how hard it is, and to relapse and understand- going through it with him!
Sorry. I do love him, I want things to work out between us and we are so close. I thought we could get clean together, but having someone who keeps buying it and still constantly smoking it is just becoming really exhausting and a bit frustrating as I'm not. Sorry, just nobody to talk to and ask for advice. What should I/ we do?
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Also my apologies if this is in the wrong forum. I wasn't sure if it should be in this or relationship. Please move if wrong.
I don't know.. I'm just sick of being the one with the motivation to get off it and hate being around it. Today we planned on being clean and going to get the subutex, but I woke up to him smoking gear on my floor. He looked shocked I woke up as my sleeping pills knock me out. He lied and lied saying it was leftovers from a festival at the weekend (which he took my card and spent a fair amount without asking.). I know there was nothing left though, as we finished smoking it there! Turns out he had bought another bunch of heroin before I was up and smoking up again. It's not that which bothered me, more of how he lied so easily to my face about it and I trusted him 100%. I know how hard it is, and to relapse and understand- going through it with him!
Sorry. I do love him, I want things to work out between us and we are so close. I thought we could get clean together, but having someone who keeps buying it and still constantly smoking it is just becoming really exhausting and a bit frustrating as I'm not. Sorry, just nobody to talk to and ask for advice. What should I/ we do?
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Also my apologies if this is in the wrong forum. I wasn't sure if it should be in this or relationship. Please move if wrong.
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