opiate dependence and chronic pain.. rehab??

[cyniclove]

I really can't continue living like this. It's hurting everyone around me: my family, my boyfriend, my friends or what I have left of them. Most of all, it's hurting myself.
I've been on opiates for years.
young years. I started when I was eighteen. I'm now 23--five years later.
I'm prescribed to a heavy opiate, which I shoot or snort.
I run out. Early. I can't help myself. I tried to let a family member hold it, they ended up eating them.
I have them in a month dispenser so I can physically see how many I have left, in days.
When I run out, I'm in so much pain.
Withdrawal pain AND pain from psoriatic arthritis and ankylosing spondylitis. I also have Crohn's Disease [cannabis is the best medicine for it. seriously. It changed my life living with Crohn's] and fibromyalgia [please don't touch hard. and bras suck. naked with a blanket. heating pad, etc.].
I have a host of autoimmune diseases that just suck. My body is literally attacking itself--thinking it's foreign tissue.
That HURTS.
All the time.

Opiates help me so much. I can do things I absolutely would not be able to do otherwise.
My pain is so bad.
I feel like shooting up is... more efficient? You get a high bio-availability [or without hyphen].

I don't want to be in pain.
but I cannot continue this lifestyle.
that's the scariest thing about my idea of rehab.
I'm going to be in pain. Everyone is in pain when they detox.
But I'm going to be crippled by nothing hushing my pain except for acetaminophen or some kind of anti-inflammatory.
I'm scared.

 

[caseface99]

Fear is natural to feel in situations like this, but you are doing the right thing reaching out for support and trying to make the decision to go to rehab. I have had to do the same thing multiple times and I know how scary it can be. I don't want to sound like I know how you feel, the pain and everything, from the autoimmune disorders, however I did have a friend that I was in rehab with last year who had Crohns disease and he talked about it a lot. The unknown can be terrifying - but the alternative is always worse when it comes to using drugs.

I really sincerely hope that you go to treatment and take it as seriously as you possibly can because this is a life or death matter. My friend who has Crohns ended up relapsing and over dosing last year, and is no longer with us. I wanted to thank you for sharing and reaching out by the way - I could almost see part of him speaking through you. I'm not telling you this to scare you out of going to rehab - only to ensure that you realize this is a life or death matter especially if you're talking about shooting up. It's going to be difficult but there are alternatives to opioids for pain management. Things that may not work quite as well as opioids, but that will allow you to continue living your life.

I wish you the best, I really do. Remember that growth cannot happen without being uncomfortable, in this case pretty damn uncomfortable... But that much more growth could happen and I promise 6 months down the line you will not regret the decision to get clean. I can't promise things will get way better right away, but I can promise things will get different. And considering how things are right now, thats gotta be an improvement, right?

Try to stay positive and keep us informed!!

 

[thedawn]

it seems to me a rehab that handles both your physical illness and opiate addiction
would be a good solution.
however,for right now,you seem desperate,harm reduction ASAP might work.
if you're able to.
cut down considerably,do not slam it,take half pills,replace OC's with weed as much as you can.

my harm reduction is suboxone(used to be weed too but i had to stop).
but I don't have a bone eating disease.
hey man,good luck,wishing you some peace of mind.

 

[Whosajiggawaaa]

I was almost there a week ago. CT'ing from 600 mg of my prescribed oxycontin cos I ran out of money. THEY WERE AT THE PHARMACY 2 mins away . But alas I don't wanna take ridiculous doses of ibuprofen and paracetamol. So fk rehab!

Well oxycontin and oxynorm.

Im a year older than you too...

 

[RedRum OG]

I've been in the same place. Get into rehab/detox and try Suboxone or (less recommended/last resort) methadone maintenance. Work with physical therapy, stretch , and exercise

 

[neversickanymore]

Methadone works well for pain if it is dosed every eight hours as the analgesic effects of methadone dont last past eight hours. So if you can find a way keep a handle on your dosing, like one of those personal time lock safes this may be an option you can try. Also when we get off the opiates our pain response is really high for some months.. so if you are really going to see if you need the pain medication or not I would give it a full year or so to let the pain die down to normal levels. Some people find they have less pain off opiates than they did on them if they were on them for a long period.

Here is a pretty strong info resource
non-opioid therapies for pain

 

[cyniclove]

thank you guys so much for all the words of wisdom and support. It really means a lot to me.
I'm in the hospital right now with sepsis from the needle.
I really need help.
I think rehab is the next stop.
I'm knocking on death's door right now.

 

[belfort]

opiates made my chronic pain much much worse..i would have never believed this had i not experiened it..i have much less pain now than im off opiates..

 

[neversickanymore]

Congratulations, it a tough descion to make, but from reading your other thread I think you are making the right choice.. i also had Fibro, irritable bowel, and sarcoidosis.. I went through so many doctors and specialists over the period of almost five years.. Then I got so fucking pissed and sick of being sick.. so I read through thousands or pages of my medical reports and thousands of pages of reports and medical texts.. I went into the doctor and ordered three tests.. all three came back as not normal.. after literally hundreds of tests many performed dozens of times, and seeing dozens of doctors.. it took me less than three weeks to identify three test that all came back off after hundreds had come back normal.. I then started to look at all the diseases as just symptoms of one disease.. i stopped all the garbage they had my on and said i wanted just three medications which the doctors allowed with out any questions even though one was ever really used to treat any of my conditions and it was not tried often. With in a week and a half I felt allot better, with in three weeks I was cured.. It has now been almost two years with total remission of all symptoms.

IMHO the doctors have missed the boat on whats going on with the fibro and the autoimmune and seem to want to treat then individually with a wide variety of medications.. the premise which I went off and allowed me to cure myself in less than a month when all those doctors were not able to help and often caused even more3 symptoms.. was the idea of pan hypothalamic dysregulation. Please take the time to find a really good link that explains all the things the hypothalamus controls.. I would bet that you will find everyone of you symtoms there and would be surprised if you find any that aren't right there.

Since you are in the hospital please ask them to perform a vitamin D level check on you. also I think I saw that you said you have a boyfriend but this does not indicate to me which sex you are though because of the fibro and this I going to guess female.. though im male and had the same shit your going through with little variances for years.. I know what you mean by constant pain because this is nerve pain there is never any position we can get into that lessen the pain.. it never goes away.. sending you my love as I have been where you are.. what I hated about trying to tell people about my condition was they never got the fact that I was in incredible non stop pain but if I could have had the choice I would gladly have kept the pain if I could have been relived of the absolutely awful fatigue.. man if I dropped my keys I would literally have to psych my self up to be able to reach down and pick them up..

I am not handing you a line.. I have made a full recovery when they said I would have fibro for the rest of my life and everything else is GONE.. I have to find a thread where I already posted so much information and what meds I was originally taking and what meds I had tried and the meds I eventually had the doctors prescribe me, in fact its pretty much a pretty conclusive history of how and why I cured myself. I will dig it up and give you a link so I hope you will check back.. since I shared it with other people I have had correspondence with another person who said you know what I looked over all the things you tried and it the same shit they are using to try and treat me and it is failing just like you said so she went to her doctor and said hey there is this crazy guy on the internet who is claiming to have cured himself of autoimmune and fibro and irritable bowel by using this approach and here is kinda his reasoning behind it and I want to try it.. she had pretty much the same experience as me.. I also had a person decide to try part of what I did and she contacted me saying with in a few weeks she was feeling better than she had ever felt the whole time since she had it..

Anyway I kinda get excited because i have been right where you are at.. totally addicted to opiates and often shooting them to try and relieve the awful pain.. and then when the irritable bowel kicked up I would throw up every five minutes for three days like twice a month.. yeah so easy to keep pain pills down when thats going on.. so hold out some hope when I find the thread I will post it here and you can look through it..

couple quick questions if you are willing to answer that may help

Do you or have you had sleep issues in the past.. circadian rhythm problems, sleep paralysis, night terrors, sleep walking, trouble falling asleep or difficulty waking up?

Did the fibro come on before or after the pain medication was started?

anxiety or depression in the past.. fi so were you on any longer term daily medications like ssri or benzos?

even of you dont feal comfortable answering the questions it wont really matter.. they are more for me to see any similarities we mare share and also see any differences we may have... this is just for me to be able to see if indeed if pan hypothalamic dysregulation continues to be a sound theory and if it presents itself in really similar of varied symptoms.. really it would only be useful if you ever decide to try what has now worked for me and at least one other person and a partial try provided significant results for another.

As i also said please ask for a vitamin D and a a testosterone check if you are a male would be two tests I think about requesting.

I will track down that thread and hopefully post it by tomorrow sometime..

Hang in there and dont give up.. I almost did and it would have been the worst descion of my life. Oh and dont worry to much about withdrawing from the opiates if you get better.. if you as sick as I was and get better.. kicking will be a walk in the park.. well sorta.:D

edit here is that thread.. you will have to read through it for awhile until the ideab come forth.. good luck and let me know what you think

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...-by-the-Thomas-Recipe?highlight=THOMAS+RECIPE

opiates made my chronic pain much much worse..i would have never believed this had i not experiened it..i have much less pain now than im off opiates..

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