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Open marriage?

sms143

sms143

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
142
Location
TN
Anyone currently in an open marriage or have any experiences to share? Also...anyone have thoughts to share on loving more than one person?

Long story short: Husband knows I adore another man..I know he adores another female and we are all great friends ...and have been for 7+ years.so were speaking of having relations with them while keeping everything honestly open..I have had a three way with our male friend an my husband a couple times but not with our female friend but we have kissed around each other,slept in the same bed together recently many times and spoke of us all fucking...so...let's hear some thoughts
 
inb4 rangrz ;)

I've never been in an open relationship, or wanted to for that matter, but I really don't see why not. If it's what you both want then go for it! I know a fair amount of people who manage to completely separate feelings from sex so you and your husband could still be in an 'exclusive' relationship while at the same time being in an open marriage, if that makes sense.
One thing though - you say you both 'adore' other people; do you mean that you've got feelings fr them? BEcause if this is more than sexual attraction I can see it causing problems...
 
Lol, exactly what I was thinking Pagey! I can't wait until Rangrz sees this thread!!

With trust - open relationships and marriages CAN work! Make sure you are HONEST with each other! I am not in an open relationship but my boyfriend and I are interested in a threesome with another guy, just hasn't happened yet. I would prefer that, if we did do anything with someone else, that the other person be there (ex. threesomes - not him have sex with someone else or me having sex with someone else).

Being able to trust each other and being honest with each other are probably the most important things in an open relationship!
 
Threesomes and open relationships are fun to talk and think about but a complete mess when shit hits the fan and people's feelings get hurt and people start getting competive with each other.
 
I was in an open relationship for two years or a bit more than that. It worked for us at the time. No we never got married or had a civil union, or even lived together.
 
Go for it! As long as y'all are honest with each other, y'all should be good!
 
What's the point un being in a relationship if its open? Fair enough when you started seeing each other but then no! You can't love ya partner and visa versa if you can sleep with someone else? A marriage should a strong knot in a relationship. My opinion anyway appoligize now if I disrespect any of you.
 
Mine GF has fucked women while I watched and/or joined in and it didn't actually even feel like whatever should cause jealousy n shit it just felt fun and hot even after.

It feels completely different if I think bout her having sex with another man.
 
Honesty is the best policy!
I am a tad jealous...I believe its normal though.
Pagey ...we do all love each other.
 
Mmmh. Well as I said I've never been in an open relationship so I can't say much but I think usually there aren't feelings for the other people involved? That's not to say you couldn't make it work out like that of course. I'd say you two should give it a try (staying honest, as everyone said) but agree that if one of you starts having a problem with it you stop? :)
 
if you want to go for it then do so, but if you are a jealous person then i have to question how you will react. but you wont know until you try it so maybe set up a rule that if it upsets you then you can go back to how things were i.e. previous boundaries reinstated
 
I met a guy who was miserable because he was having no sex, his wife was miserable because of no sex, and then one day the wife suggested a threesome with her lesbian friend. They now call her their girlfriend, and they have regular threesomes. They have feelings for her, and the lesbian even broke up with her girlfriend to be with them. It's an odd relationship, but really fun to listen to the stories. They are happy. The lesbian is kinda feeling like a third wheel, mainly because she feels she's being used, but the husband and wife are happy and do care about her.

The only thing is that the husband laid down the rule that the wife can't have any other dick but his, so in that sense I think it's unfair. I don't have any desire for lesbian sex, so if I was in an open relationship, I'd want a man.
 
If their any jealousy then the whole situation needs to be re-thought :p. Jealousy is when you need to re-evaluate the whole thing!
Open relationships certainly don't work for everyone but it doesn't mean they can't work for you!
 
I say go for it, however some friends of mine years ago had an open relationship. Very open. Eventually one of them got herpes. Now it really hurt their marriage for a while and several friendships were broken. Basically the wife fucked a guy that knew he had herpes and didn't use protection or tell her. Fortunately their marriage survived that and eventually they moved away. How ever this was a huge mess at first because the husband got so angry that he almost beat up two people that he thought were the responsible people.

I think what you want is not an open relationship, but a specific poly one. Do you consider yourself bisexual? Does he?
 
Tomd, was coming to the distinction between an emotional relationship and a polyamorous one myself. They're very different. An open relationship would equate to swinging. Could be NSA one-offs with complete strangers, shared experience or liberty to go off for one-on-ones as and when, could be a regular thing among friends where there is an emotional involvement and loving care but that's quite different to the love between partners. Polyamory involves a loving emotional attachment to multiple partners, sharing yourself with them, not necessarily equally but a similar sort of love. A swinging relationship could develop into a polyamorous but as swingers you'd tend to have fairly well boundaries in place designed to prevent that kind of attachment, avoid any confusion. You'd normally know which of the two camps you were aiming for and were comfortable with.

Polyamory perfectly doable. Think it quite natural. Difficulty is we do tend to want to be the one, the be all and end all. Can be quite threatening the thought that your partner has a love for someone other than you, most could not handle it for essentially selfish reasons, they'd feel completely undermined by it. Doesn't have to be that way. Sharing the love doesn't mean taking from one partner to give something rightfully theirs to another. Love's bigger than that, there's plenty to go round. Most never experience that because they don't allow themselves or their partners to, they keep the emotional barriers up. Won't allow themselves to even contemplate it so can never fully understand it which is why it seems so alien. Could quite easily live in a polyamorous relationship, been part of one before with my ex as the other guy, her boyfriend lived in Denmark, could only infrequently get together. I was a stand in that eventually usurped him. Not quite what I had in mind very wary of that but shit happens.
 
PYes..I mean a poly relationship..I feel more comfortable with 3 way sex then one on one sex.
I am bisexual.

Last night me,her,and my husband had drinks and we were laying on the couch and he was rubbing both us..but she got up twice to the kitchen...was frustrating for me and my husband.So she isn't comfortable it seems.She said she doesn't wanna do anything with a female.. so we explained to her that me and her wanna play with my husband not me and her fucking each other..although I would nom on her if she'd let me.

I also do believe my jealousy could be a problem..
 
Sounds like she might not be ready but I would add that you might want to go with another girl. There are plenty of places to meet bisexual people. I can give you some suggestions for looking in TN. Also using Molly as a group might open her and you up. Molly can break jealousy among couples. I worked really well with my wife and me. She and I really freed ourselves to better communication and trust.
 
Tomdpimp,
No other girl would work in this mix,but thanks.
We will be using Molly...as in me and her only and my husband will be there to supervise.. ;)
Yes I have heard of Molly breaking jealousy.
 
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