Opioids Oops... I did it again!

[OCLINDSAY]

Just what I thought...cravings got the best of me
Almost back on the same path8(
I managed to stay 6 weeks clean of a 12 month 200mg+ OC habit, my obsession for watching drug related content on youtube, and reading forum threads with regards to chipping techniques, Kratom related stuff, and Heroin related stuff (which I never tried) in the end contributed to my self fulfilling prophecy that 'one last time won't hurt'.

Well, this probably sounds too familiar to a lot of you guys, but this 'one last time' became the 'second one last time'. Here I am high as f*ck behind my laptop, which started innocent 2 weeks ago, with trying Kratom for the first time (unnoticeable buzz for 2 days straight), went to OC relapse the week after (noticeable buzz for 2 days straight), and now again back on the same BS.

Actually I really do not enjoy the buzz at all, I am high but the guilt takes the fun off. I decided to use again due to work related stress, I am so glad that this week is my last week at my job and I am planning to really take a break for a couple months to recover from the PAWS...rehab next week will definitely add some benefit. The only thing I am worried about now is; in how far my relapse has set me back mentally as far as PAWS duration/intensity is concerned. I have used OCs (200MG+) for 1 year straight and never used Heroin or other opiates.

 

[beforethebeginning]

i think it's not accepting and loving life as it is, that makes people depressed.
and when you succeed in loving and accepting life for a bit and you feel better,
then its easy to lose that positive mentality because...

when you use again just once, afterwards you could easily feel bad because your mind stopped "accepting" and "loving life" as it is.
it got used to being lazy, comfy, curling up in a little ball. and then the high disapears, and the mind is in shock.

more depression results, and more drug use follows.
better to use drugs as a special treat, and see sobriety as the way to become strong.

 

[Changa707]

200+ mg oxycodone daily for a year is quite an immense habit, I can imagine that relapse would be likely regardless of whether you taper or quit CT...but really, you sound like you have the will to quit!
I really wish the best for you, and would suggest you research ibogaine treatment...it has proven very useful for helping addicts re-align their lives if you will, and many other psychedelics have the potential to "reset" the brain, and allow us to regain control of our lives and give up bad habits.

Then again, it's not for everyone...but I have experienced mushrooms on several occassions and it has helped me feel connected to the planet in a way I had never felt (I have usually tripped alone, but am interested in trying ibogaine in a "longhouse" type setting).

 

[beforethebeginning]

also dont do ibogaïne in a non-medically-supervised setting.
that substance seems possibly "tricky."