Only interested in women when I'm horny

[Hear Me Roar]

Essentially what the title suggests.

I'm coming up to being 25 and in honesty wouldn't mind finding a relationship. I have some friends who have settled down, others who are nearer to 30, who are married and have children. An although I'm not wanting to get married or have children, it'd be nice to have someone in my life.

I guess the only problem is, the only time I'm interested in women is when I'm horny.

I mean, i've tried all forms of meeting women, from bars, through friends and I even tried dating sites. An although I haven't been short of interest, I just never feel like talking to them or meeting them, unless it's to satisfy sexual urges.

For example, I had been seeing this lass, she was good looking, we seemed to get along. Though I'd only feel like talking to her when I was horny. Not that I'd explicitly talk to her about sex or anything of the sort. Just that being aroused, seemed to be a factor that had to be met, for me to open dialogue. So I'd talk to her, we'd arrange a date. I'd maybe jack off when I woke up in the morning, as guys do. An boom, I'd just be disinterested to the max, in going on the date. Though I'd still meet her, I'd just feel like it was a chore and I had to make an effort.

An it seems to be the case with all the women I meet. To the point, that I'm constantly turning women I meet down and moving on.

Is there something wrong with me...

It actually all started somewhat when I stopped using drugs. Stopped smoking pot, doing mild opiates, speed.... etc (list goes on). It bothers me, because some nights I think about some of the genuine lasses I've met. An think about how I fucked shit up because I just lost interest.

Anyone else experienced anything like this?... I mean maybe I just haven't met the right person. Though at the same time, how many gloves do you have to try on, till you find one that fits.

 

[DOB]

I am interested in women too only when I am horny,thing is I am more or less horny all the time,I am permahorny.Even when I jack off 5 times a day,I end at 5 not becose I am not horny anymore,but becose my foreskin hurts from the friction and my arms are tired.Even in my dreams I am horny,even when I didnt ate 2 days,was horribly stressed , on IV drip in hospital I still fapped becose my libido is infinite.... women never stopped to extremly attract me,for me women are best thing in universe 24/7 365 days in year

go get blood test for testosterone and estrogen

 

[Hear Me Roar]

Don't think has anything to do with my sexual drive. I mean, I'm horny quite a lot. It just seems for me that being horny is a prerequisite, for being interested in any form of relationship with women.

Even if I get on well with them on an intellectual level, all that disappears if I'm not sexually aroused.

 

[DOB]

Don't think has anything to do with my sexual drive. I mean, I'm horny quite a lot. It just seems for me that being horny is a prerequisite, for being interested in any form of relationship with women.

Even if I get on well with them on an intellectual level, all that disappears if I'm not sexually aroused.

I think you have some mental issues,was you always like this?

 

[Clitnhawk]

@DOB: you need more lube... switch arms. Eventually you'll rip it off or burn out.

@ Hear Me Roar: Maybe you should date guys? Or you are simply NOT ready (if ever) to be in a real relationship... in which case, just grow a group of FWB or bootycalls... "Call me when you want to shag"... rather than wasting your time and her time to date, etc.

 

[Jabberwocky]

You sound like me. I am now 30 and have a chance with a chick who personality wise is someone you would dream of but am not interested enough to make leaps and bounds.

If you have been single most of your life I'd put it down to this. For me most of the chicks I've seen have come as a result of them asking me out. Every time I've asked a chick out, I always got rejected. Perhaps this is why I also haven given up, as rejection sucks

It must also come due to living in a fantasy world of sorts

You should keep on putting in effort as it does get better I guess.

Also if you are on anti depressants, keep in mind this kills your sex drive.

 

[malakaix]

Anyone else experienced anything like this?...

I think it was Mike Catherwood on Loveline that once said "Anytime your about to message a girl, masturbate before hand and then come back'.

To me this always demonstrated how men lose that clarity and judgement when sexually aroused, for a moment your entire energy and being is focused on sex, and then right after.. absolute and total dis-interest.

I think the sexual element confuse's the situation a lot, consider the friends in your life.. most would likely be acquaintances, maybe some good friends.. but very few if only one friend/friend you could trust your life with. In my experience it's the same with dating, most people are boring and have cardboard cutout personalities.. but the sexual element makes it seem like there's more then there really is.

It could also be that you've set the goal of interaction as: sex. So everything between meeting and having sex is essentially irrelevant within the greater picture, and is endured as part of the process.. you might even trick yourself into believing your interested, but as soon as you have sex.. the illusion crumbles away and there's nothing there. It's funny because I've personally put up with a lot to get sex.. at times even convincing myself that i was genuinely attracted to the girl beyond sex.. but then over time, as you said.. it started to become a chore and i got bored extremely quickly.

I've only ever met one girl that flipped the world on my head, and i actually really enjoyed spending time with her and didn't even care for sex. That was a long time ago now, but i still remember her. Like life-long friends, its rare to find these people.

 

[pofacedhoe]

OP- any sexual interest in men? prob not but worth asking.

sounds like you just dont like these women that much. it definitely sounds like beyond sex they bore you and i would take that as you havent found one you would want as a friend and a lover

 

[socko]

I'm the opposite as the OP. As a straight man, I'm too old to be hanging out with dudes all the time. I'm interested in women as potential friends or companions for going out and doing different things. (I'm probably the only dude on the planet who asks a girl out without wanting to sleep with her.) Women tend to share my interest in cultural activities more than men anyway. If sex happens with someone, great, if not, that's OK too.

 

[Hear Me Roar]

I'm bi-curious, though not bi-sexual. I don't like kissing guys, or doing anything sexual with them (tried many times, just isn't my thing). Though sometimes jack off to gay porn. I feel I have a firm grasp of my sexuality. Spent a lot of time in my youth being a tom cat to know what's what.

Not on any medications, have only been single for 2 years. Was in a serious relationship, though I only really stayed in the relationship for well... sex. Always felt like I had to make an effort to communicate. Ended it in the end, as it wasn't really fair on her and she would bring up the fact that i'd seem uninterested etc... and it saved a lot of arguments.

I'd like to think that maybe, in some sense, it's because I haven't found the right woman for me. Though I've dated enough women that by now, I should have at least found 1 I find interesting when I'm not aroused.

 

[socko]

I'm bi-curious, though not bi-sexual. I don't like kissing guys, or doing anything sexual with them (tried many times, just isn't my thing). Though sometimes jack off to gay porn. I feel I have a firm grasp of my sexuality. Spent a lot of time in my youth being a tom cat to know what's what.

Not on any medications, have only been single for 2 years. Was in a serious relationship, though I only really stayed in the relationship for well... sex. Always felt like I had to make an effort to communicate. Ended it in the end, as it wasn't really fair on her and she would bring up the fact that i'd seem uninterested etc... and it saved a lot of arguments.

I'd like to think that maybe, in some sense, it's because I haven't found the right woman for me. Though I've dated enough women that by now, I should have at least found 1 I find interesting when I'm not aroused.

I see under your avatar that your location is the UK. Does that mean you only meet British women? That itself could be the problem. Have you talked to many women who are not from English speaking countries and who are not Americanized? I felt similar to you about American women until I started dating women from overseas (non-English speaking countreis). it has changed my entire outlook on women.

 

[malakaix]

I see under your avatar that your location is the UK. Does that mean you only meet British women? That itself could be the problem. Have you talked to many women who are not from English speaking countries and who are not Americanized? I felt similar to you about American women until I started dating women from overseas (non-English speaking countreis). it has changed my entire outlook on women.

Same here, it's a massive perspective shift.

 

[deano88]

I see under your avatar that your location is the UK. Does that mean you only meet British women? That itself could be the problem. Have you talked to many women who are not from English speaking countries and who are not Americanized? I felt similar to you about American women until I started dating women from overseas (non-English speaking countreis). it has changed my entire outlook on women.

Are you one of those fat ugly people who you see in town walking around with thai women?

 

[socko]

Are you one of those fat ugly people who you see in town walking around with thai women?

I don't have anything in common with those fat old geezers you mention except one thing : I have had a thai gf. She wasn't some mail order bride/illiterate daughter of a peasant rice farmer like what you're probably thinking. I was in college and she was my prof. She was 35 and beautiful. My point is that women from English speaking countries have no appeal other than what is skin deep - they are beautiful on the outside (not taking into the account the 70% obesity rate in those countries), but their personalities, behaviour, level education, and appreciation of culture are not attractive to me. Same goes for Scandanavians and Germans. What I am strying to tell you is that I prefer women who are not Americanized. I prefer African, Asian, Eastern European, Middle Eastern Oceanic, and sometimes South American who are educated, well-bred, cultured, good looking, and intelligent. I have met very few women from English speaking countries who have all of those qualities.

 

[deano88]

I personally think you find western women too intimidating and don't know how to handle them which I find is typical of the type of guys who go for quiet Asian girls. Everybody has there type tho so not saying there's anything wrong with that but personally I'd prefer to be with somebody I could relate to a bit.

remember I went on a date with a polish girl once and although she was attractive I couldn't click with her like some English girls. Sometimes she didn't understand my sense of humour and had to explain things alot, got a little frustrating.

 

[socko]

I personally think you find western women too intimidating and don't know how to handle them which I find is typical of the type of guys who go for quiet Asian girls. Everybody has there type tho so not saying there's anything wrong with that but personally I'd prefer to be with somebody I could relate to a bit.
...

I'm not sure what you mean by intimidating. I've had American gfs and that wasn't what was wrong with them. It's something different and the result is that Americanized women have lost all appeal to the point that their company is usually unpleasant. It is hard to describe unless you have seen it for yourself.

Mediteranean women can be very 'intimidating' and definitely are not passive. I think more so than American women. Yet I like them and can relate to them. Same with the others. It's also not some fetish like "yellow fever." I can't relate to women who are too passive.

 

[-=SS=-]

I'm not sure what you mean by intimidating. I've had American gfs and that wasn't what was wrong with them. It's something different and the result is that Americanized women have lost all appeal to the point that their company is usually unpleasant. It is hard to describe unless you have seen it for yourself.

I'll have a stab at describing the input factors: Disney. Princeses-syndrome/can do no wrong. Feminism. I see a lot of men thinking and acting on how to improve themselves on many different levels.. the same can not be said for the women, beyond using a treadmill and yoga. Like socko said, the beauty tends to only be skin deep with a lot of women in the West.. and that is only going to carry my interest so far.. as in 3 minutes (sometimes not even that!). I met a girl who had was struggling mentally and been through a lot, but I fell for her because it was apparent she'd done a lot of thinking about it all and grown as a person on the inside. Could see it in her eyes, unlike most women who just have this glazed over look all the time. Scary shit.

There's some good women out there for sure but holy crap is there an over-abundance of useless protoplasm walking around. Fortunately I think age brings a bit of humility to some of them once there looks begin to fade and they realize they have nothing else to offer.

 

[chitownskag]

Lol hahaha this shit turns me into a dick lol. I moved about 1500 miles to Arizona recently and i have been taking to this girl i used to date. And for about 2 weeks straight i would text her n try to get her to come out here, but then i would jerk off i wouldn't want to even txt her back n shit. Then i would get horny and start txtn her again lol. The messed up thing is she was really gonna come out here too.

 

[socko]

I'll have a stab at describing the input factors: Disney. Princeses-syndrome/can do no wrong. Feminism. I see a lot of men thinking and acting on how to improve themselves on many different levels.. the same can not be said for the women, beyond using a treadmill and yoga. Like socko said, the beauty tends to only be skin deep with a lot of women in the West.. and that is only going to carry my interest so far.. as in 3 minutes (sometimes not even that!). I met a girl who had was struggling mentally and been through a lot, but I fell for her because it was apparent she'd done a lot of thinking about it all and grown as a person on the inside. Could see it in her eyes, unlike most women who just have this glazed over look all the time. Scary shit.

There's some good women out there for sure but holy crap is there an over-abundance of useless protoplasm walking around. Fortunately I think age brings a bit of humility to some of them once there looks begin to fade and they realize they have nothing else to offer.

That's what I was thinking, but I didn't want to actually say it because I didn't want to sound like I hate women when in fact I love them all except American Women. Thank you. I find that MOST Western/Americanized Women are self-entitled, misandrist Disney Princesses with very little self-awareness, empathy, introspection, or personality. They tend to be extremely shallow compared to non-American women and overwhelmingly lack the ability to communicate/negotiate/compromise without resorting to tears or violence. I completely agree on that they NEVER try to improve themselves other than flocking to the latest yoga/arobics/pilates/hot yoga fad and going Gluten Free. They have nothing to offer. At least nothing that one can't find at the nearest brothel like a 100€ suck_and_fuck. And at least the professionals do a good job.

I think the misandrist (man-hating) strains of feminism that have been plaguing the Anglosphere since the 1960s are at least partly to blame. It's sadly ironic that while protesting so loudly against being objectified by men, they have in fact turned themselves into plastic, soul-less, empty creatures. Sorry to say it, but two decades of observing, meeting and dating American women backs me up. It's a cultural difference that becomes very clear when comparing them to non-Americanized women.

Summary:

 

[deano88]

That's what I was thinking, but I didn't want to actually say it because I didn't want to sound like I hate women when in fact I love them all except American Women. Thank you. I find that MOST Western/Americanized Women are self-entitled, misandrist Disney Princesses with very little self-awareness, empathy, introspection, or personality. They tend to be extremely shallow compared to non-American women and overwhelmingly lack the ability to communicate/negotiate/compromise without resorting to tears or violence. I completely agree on that they NEVER try to improve themselves other than flocking to the latest yoga/arobics/pilates/hot yoga fad and going Gluten Free. They have nothing to offer. At least nothing that one can't find at the nearest brothel like a 100€ suck_and_fuck. And at least the professionals do a good job.

I think the misandrist (man-hating) strains of feminism that have been plaguing the Anglosphere since the 1960s are at least partly to blame. It's sadly ironic that while protesting so loudly against being objectified by men, they have in fact turned themselves into plastic, soul-less, empty creatures. Sorry to say it, but two decades of observing, meeting and dating American women backs me up. It's a cultural difference that becomes very clear when comparing them to non-Americanized women.

Summary:

I can't speak for American women as I live in the UK but I think your being OTT with that picture. Not every westernised woman is like that, you sound extremely bitter and have obviously been hurt by women in the past so now tar every American women with the same brut. There are good women out there.

btw none of the women in those pictures are very attractive.