embryo923
Bluelighter
I have done dope (poweder heroin, snorted) everyday for the last 6 days and I am quitting starting tomorrow. I did it early this morning so its been about 7 hours since my last use, and Im not really feeling any WD's yet. I have binged before about a month ago, and I didn't feel any WD's until Day 2. Bu neer did it everyday for 6 straight days. I know I am a lightweight and 6 days of only 5 bags snorted is NOTHING compared to some real heavy users.. But I am still scared. What should I expect? Am I going to be miserable as fuck or just uncomfortable for a few days? I have a good supply of Klonopin, and access to Immodium. No suboxone though, and no Xanax. I'm really stressed out thinking about how unpleasant the next few days will be. I even spent ALL the money I have left so that I absolutely cannot get more dope even if I wanted to, I just have no money and nobody will spot me. I want to never do this shit again so maybe a nice long 3 days of misery will teach me the lesson I need to be taught. I have no will power or discipline.
I'm so lonely, the only people I know are drug addicts, but I hate them and I hate myself for getting to this point. I don't want to go any further down this road. My house is for sale so hopefully moe soon. I just want to be a fucking normal average Joe...just like in that movie Trainspotting...the family, the white picket fence, etc etc...just a normal dude with an average, non exciting life. It's better than this constant up and down life of being high all the time and then feeling full of guilt and realizing how much money I wasted and how many years I've shaved off my life, how much potential I threw away. I'm a musician and songwriter, so I started all this thinking it would expand my mind, make me more creative, and it did...years ago. but those days are over, the party is over.
Anyway, 6 straight days of using heroin, 5 bags a day, that is more than I've ever done so consistently. I also OD'd a year ago this month from combining DXM, Benadryl, Klonopin and dope in a 12 hours period. Stupid, stupid stupid, I know. I ended up in the ICU for a week, was coughing up blood, my heart looked like that of a 75 year old man with heart disease, according to my doc, and I died in the ambulance according to the nurses.
What can I do? I know i have to get out of this town, that is a given. I will make sure that happens...I just wnat to get through the withdrawal with as little physical discomfort and misery as possible. I guess just take the klonopin and immodium...try to knock myself outm delete all the phone numbers of dealers...but when I get the urge what should I tell myself? I leave myself notes around my room like "DONT FUCKING DO ANY D YOU PUSSY" etc...but I ignore them. Thanks to anyone who can help me out with some advice, and sorry to anyone who reads this and thinks "what a pussy, I've been shooting up for 10 years and this little punk bitch is afraid of WD's from 5 bags after only 6 days" I totally understand...but this is just my situation. I'm being honest about it. I'm weak, no tolerance to opiates. 5 bags (and might I add, they are shitty bags, lots of cut, throat burns a bit) is enough to make me nod for a good 2 hours or so and feel good for a full day...though I start getting very irritable later in the day.
This is one of my first threads on here. I hope I don't make an ass of myself and I hope this thread can help others in the future. And I hope I can read through this forum and help others as well. I wanna be a normal dude, clean and sober, getting high from making music and eating healthy fruits and nuts, watching my favorite sports teams and boxing (I'm a Mike Tyson fan...I'm from Brooklyn and so he is, I have a lot of flaws so does he, don't judge.)
And if anyone needs to vent, message me, I'm' a good listener and giver of advice, in areas where I can give good advice. I was addicted to DXM for 8 years, did it 4-5 days a week for 8 years and I quit cold turkey, on my own, no rehab, no detox, I just had enough. So I am not a total failure. Please tell me what to expect from this opiate withdrawal shit. Thanks.
I'm so lonely, the only people I know are drug addicts, but I hate them and I hate myself for getting to this point. I don't want to go any further down this road. My house is for sale so hopefully moe soon. I just want to be a fucking normal average Joe...just like in that movie Trainspotting...the family, the white picket fence, etc etc...just a normal dude with an average, non exciting life. It's better than this constant up and down life of being high all the time and then feeling full of guilt and realizing how much money I wasted and how many years I've shaved off my life, how much potential I threw away. I'm a musician and songwriter, so I started all this thinking it would expand my mind, make me more creative, and it did...years ago. but those days are over, the party is over.
Anyway, 6 straight days of using heroin, 5 bags a day, that is more than I've ever done so consistently. I also OD'd a year ago this month from combining DXM, Benadryl, Klonopin and dope in a 12 hours period. Stupid, stupid stupid, I know. I ended up in the ICU for a week, was coughing up blood, my heart looked like that of a 75 year old man with heart disease, according to my doc, and I died in the ambulance according to the nurses.
What can I do? I know i have to get out of this town, that is a given. I will make sure that happens...I just wnat to get through the withdrawal with as little physical discomfort and misery as possible. I guess just take the klonopin and immodium...try to knock myself outm delete all the phone numbers of dealers...but when I get the urge what should I tell myself? I leave myself notes around my room like "DONT FUCKING DO ANY D YOU PUSSY" etc...but I ignore them. Thanks to anyone who can help me out with some advice, and sorry to anyone who reads this and thinks "what a pussy, I've been shooting up for 10 years and this little punk bitch is afraid of WD's from 5 bags after only 6 days" I totally understand...but this is just my situation. I'm being honest about it. I'm weak, no tolerance to opiates. 5 bags (and might I add, they are shitty bags, lots of cut, throat burns a bit) is enough to make me nod for a good 2 hours or so and feel good for a full day...though I start getting very irritable later in the day.
This is one of my first threads on here. I hope I don't make an ass of myself and I hope this thread can help others in the future. And I hope I can read through this forum and help others as well. I wanna be a normal dude, clean and sober, getting high from making music and eating healthy fruits and nuts, watching my favorite sports teams and boxing (I'm a Mike Tyson fan...I'm from Brooklyn and so he is, I have a lot of flaws so does he, don't judge.)
And if anyone needs to vent, message me, I'm' a good listener and giver of advice, in areas where I can give good advice. I was addicted to DXM for 8 years, did it 4-5 days a week for 8 years and I quit cold turkey, on my own, no rehab, no detox, I just had enough. So I am not a total failure. Please tell me what to expect from this opiate withdrawal shit. Thanks.