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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

One time heroin use

tryingtounderstand

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
4
Location
Hampton, Virginia
Hello everyone,

I am currently dating a heroin addict who has been trying to stay clean. She is currently going through methadone treatment and has also recently quit drinking. With doing all of this she has been having a hard time trying to stay off of heroin.

So then there is me a non-drug user of any kind. I do not drink or smoke even. But in my effort to try to support her during her possible relapse and recovery. I have done some research on this drug. Mostly just trying to understand why its so hard to stop using. So in my research many people talk about how euphoric it makes you feel. That is the same description that her and her friends also gave me. They all said that they have never known anyone that tried it and didn't like it. So me in my curiosity decided that I wanted to try it with her to get a better understanding of why it was so great for them and hard to kick.

Well I don't know what went wrong but in trying it with her. I had a very bad reaction to this drug. She started me off with a small dose of one cap to her seven+ that she would normally do. I am not real sure how that measures in grams or whatever but figured some more experienced people would understand the meaning of this terminology.

I did get the initial rush and feeling warm at first but within a few minutes I was passed out. When they tried waking me up later I could not walk, I could't stand without holding on to something, I was extremely nauseous and became emotionally unstable with uncontrollable crying. I ended up in the bathroom for hours because anytime that I moved I felt like I was going to vomit. They ended up putting me in a cold shower for about an hour and then back to bed. Upon going in and out of conscientiousness my girlfriend starting being very mean to me because she thought I was exaggerating the effects of such a small dose that should have only lasted a few hours. After about 8-9 hours after doing this drug I had a horrible migraine and was still very nauseous and unstable on my feet. I opted to not go into work that night because I did not feel that I could function. I was forced to drive myself home because she didn't want to deal with me all night. Once I arrived home, I did vomit, a lot and then passed out in my bed. The effects of this drug stayed with me well into the next day. I know without a doubt that drug use is not for me.

This has now put a great deal of stress on my relationship. She feels that I was over exaggerating the effects of the drug, and I am like how can I over react to something that I have no idea what it will do to me or how it will make me feel.

Can someone please explain this reaction to me and why it was so bad? How I can get my girlfriend to understand. I was trying to support her in trying the drug. I don't see how its my fault that I did not have the reaction of euphoria that she wanted me to have. I think she was really hoping that I would love it but, because I hated it, it has now put stress on our relationship.

Please help.
 
i'm assuming a cap is probably something like 100 mg which is a common unit of measure for H. if you hear people talking about a bag or a point, they're usually referring to 100 mg dosage units. of that, typically maybe 20-40 percent is actually H (20-40 mg), the rest is just cut. i could see your SO using 7 bags if she's a tolerant user and/or using over methadone. how did you dose? insufflated? oral? plugging? you got sick because frankly, your SO totally over dosed you given that you are completely opiate-naive. i don't do H on the regular, maybe once every few weeks at most, and if i did a whole point at once, i'd be rocked, throwing up all night. she should have given you way less. anyway, like many drugs, you may not totally "get" the high until a couple of times through. that said, this really isn't a road you want to be going down. doing H with your SO may seem like fun but it is absolutely not helpful to them if they are serious about their maintenance program. you're just enabling them down the primrose path and if you're not careful they'll take you right along with them. this is strong stuff, every bit as strong as acid or shrooms, in its own way. people should, but often don't, treat this as the powerful psychoactive chemical that it is. if you just can't help but to play, try to stick to no more than once every few weeks at most.
 
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Yea, you basically overdosed (non-fatally obviously). Heroin is a CNS depressant and the dose depressed you central nervous system to the point of you passing out. You were vomiting because your body couldn't handle that dose, so it was trying to get rid of it.

I don't know why she gave you such a high dose for your first time, but it was very careless on her part. I also can't believe she had you drive home after that, and it almost seems like she's trying to kill you.

I don't know why she is so upset about how you reacted to that dose of heroin. Perhaps she was hoping that you would enjoy it so that she could have you as her drug partner lover.
 
Well, I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad you didn't enjoy heroin and won't be using it again <3

You definitely did too much. The effects you described are very common for new users, who often use too much.

I do NOT think your girlfriend was "trying to kill you", she probably just forgot that the dosage for someone who has never used heroin before is VERY VERY different from the dosage she would take, and even though she gave you a much smaller dose than she gave herself it was not small enough, she may also have not thought about the fact that heroin affects different people very differently, and then she was upset and not understanding when she made you drive yourself home etc.

I agree that she was probably upset that you didn't enjoy it, as she may well have been, even subconsciously, hoping you would love it so that you could both use together. That addiction in the back of her mind may have been rationalizing a relapse as being much easier if you were on board and you wanted to start doing heroin too.

She was also probably hoping that you trying heroin would provide you with a better understanding of why she does it. She might have loved heroin from the first time she tried it and been unable to fathom why you had such a horrible time on it, hence why she thought you were over-reacting. As I said, heroin affects different people differently and some are much more prone to enjoying it and becoming addicted than others. And trying it once can't really give you an understanding of what it's like to be a heroin addict/why someone is an addict anyway. That's one of the things that is so insidious about it, when one doesn't use too much it's actually a very subtle drug, it's a very natural feeling, just feeling calm, warm, happy, sleepy and loved. People don't think they are going to get addicted, they think they are different and will be able to avoid addiction. Once someone is addicted, and especially once they are physically dependent, changes happen in their brain and the brain basically considers heroin as necessary as water or food, (often more necessary actually).

Heroin, ironically, can also make people irritable, so she may have been mean to you because the drug made her more easily irritated, and she had been envisioning a great night where you both enjoyed the high together and was then very disappointed when that didn't happen.

If you want to help your girlfriend, doing heroin yourself is not a good idea. Try to explain things to her, that you did too much and that's why it made you sick, and that different people react differently to heroin. Is she getting any help for her addiction aside from methadone? Would you like any advice on how you can best support her? Or how to deal with this situation in your relationship?

As for how much heroin you did:
Slang terminology and the quantities the terms represent can vary widely from place to place, and "cap" is a regional term, but what's referred to as a "cap" is, or at least originally was, supposed to be 0.1g (100mg). (Depending on the supplier/place it might sometimes be less than that though). The amount in milligrams, however, says nothing about the purity of that dope. However, if your "cap" was 100mg, of decent quality, and especially if you injected it, that could easily be way too much for someone with no opioid tolerance. For comparison when I first started using heroin I was using 15-20mg at a time. I really hope that you are not tempted to try heroin again at a lower dose though!
 
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Yup, sounds like an overdose. They probably gave you way too much. Even if you'd been given a more 'reasonable' dose it might not have been a pleasant experience - intense nausea is very common the first time you try opiates. I mean I threw up from my first time with codeine, so just imagine heroin...quite frankly I think it's great you didn't enjoy it because if you had, trust me, it's not easy to just walk away.
My first experience with a potent opiate was with oxycodone, I had some tolerance to codeine and hydrocodone but that was it regarding that family of drugs and I spent the whole 4-5 hours leaning over the toilet cursing myself :\
Heroin is obviously an extremely potent drug and I would have been surprised if you hadn't had any negative side effects, especially with no opiate tolerance whatsoever.
I don't understand why she's upset though, unless it's, as suggested, because she was hoping to have you as a drug partner.
Anyway - please, please don't try it again for her sake or out of curiosity or whatever. The first time I tried it I'd sworn to myself it was a one-time thing, that I'd never repeat again, and I found myself using five days in a row and I'm a regular user now. It's not to be taken lightly.
 
You should feel extremely lucky and grateful that you didn't find it addictive. Write this off as a drug that is not for you, and move onto cannabis or psychedelics - something which won't necessarily absolutely ruin your life. Heroin definitely will ruin your life given the chance to do so. :(

<snip>
 
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I do NOT think your girlfriend was "trying to kill you", she probably just forgot that the dosage for someone who has never used heroin before is VERY VERY different from the dosage she would take, and even though she gave you a much smaller dose than she gave herself it was not small enough, she may also have not thought about the fact that heroin affects different people very differently, and then she was upset and not understanding when she made you drive yourself home etc.

Lol, you had to implant that idea in his brain?

Though, i was going to say its odd she couldn't dose you properly. Perhaps she is beyond a point of beyond responsible with such things indicating a greater issue but still, I would be pissed off as I had entrusted my safety and life in the hands of somebody experienced.

Also, not to be a dick to H users, but I just hope you watch out for yourself as well, even if you want to help her its not always possible, dont get dragged down with her if she chooses not to seek help. Harsh but has a user myself I see what it does to friends and family. Its the worst thing of all.
 
I also can't believe she had you drive home after that, and it almost seems like she's trying to kill you.

I do NOT think your girlfriend was "trying to kill you", she probably just forgot that the dosage for someone who has never used heroin before is VERY VERY different from the dosage she would take, and even though she gave you a much smaller dose than she gave herself it was not small enough, she may also have not thought about the fact that heroin affects different people very differently, and then she was upset and not understanding when she made you drive yourself home etc.

Lol, you had to implant that idea in his brain?

It wasn't me, I was quoting Tommyboy and saying I didn't agree.
 
Welcome to BL.

I'm sry but ur girl sounds like a real bitch. Your there trying to help her get clean and she feels the need to corrupt you so she can feel better about herself. And then take u for granted by bitching at you. I'd say leave her. I fucking love heroin (altho I hate it) but I would never give it to someone for their first time, fuck that, let alone my girlfriend whos there to help me sober up

I applaud u for being a real bf and actually sticking with ur significant other. My SO or whatever u wana call that bitch can't even give me a fucking phone call to make sure I'm doing alright when she knows I'm in the middle of wd and shes the only person I can really talk to about the whole thing. Said she was gona call me back Monday night and still haven't heard from her.

Actions speak louder than words man, and while I get we all do some shit without thinking from time to time, the least she can do is own up to royally fucking up

Damn my bad about that rant. Mayb I shud take a trip over to SLR
 
^^ Yeah I just said it in a nicer way lol. Though if you are dating a H user i guess you are prepared for issues.
I dont generally like how people act when drunk so so what i tend to do is get drunk as well, then you dont see to notice. I dont suggest that here though.

I just want to know how you spend your time while she is nodding out the whole time? That must get a bit annoying. Can you imagine a tweaker dating a H user. The tweaker sitting there talking a thousand words a minute to somebody who has passed out. An amusing image and recipe for disaster. Anyways soz im high.

Ahh Swim i checked OP post but didnt see that, just thought it was amusing thats all, something i would do.
 
As far as the dosage goes, I really have no idea on the mg. So you may be very right but I am completely naive to this sort of thing. I completely learned my lesson on this one. I am not a drug user. I was just trying to understand why it was so hard for her to stop. This is something that I will never try again or any other drug for that matter. It was the worst I have ever felt in my life.

We actually ended up breaking up over this situation. She is fully back in her addiction which I did not realize because she had kept it from me. She is now dating, sleeping or whatever with this other girl who is also an addict. After the way she treated me during the incident it went way down from there. I have had to cut off all contact with her at this point.
 
Yea, I don't really know what she was thinking. But we have since broken up over the incident. I trusted her to take care of me in this situation which did not happen. So lesson learned for me. I have had to cut off all contact with her at this point.
 
I don't really understand what the terms mean to (insufflated, or plugging). She shot me up with a needle is all I know. It was a clean one not used by anyone else. Also, it seems as if some of you think that I am a male. I can assure you that I am not. I am female about 140 lbs. My now ex-gf is much larger than me. Which is maybe part of why the reaction was so bad for me, because of my smaller size compared to her. I don't really know. I do know that I will not ever try this again or any other drug. The way that I felt during this incident was horrible. My body, I guess just does not have the tolerance for foreign substances.
 
Like wolfmans brother and a few other said... That is unacceptable the way she treated you when you were experiencing a overdose from a SHOT of H. i had a similar experience with a girlfriend of mine when she wanted to try oxy 80's with me just to see why i was so into them. So i let her do a 1/4 of it. (20MGS) and she was huggin the toliet. Fading in and out of reality. and just overall F'ed up! i held her hair while she was throwing up. had her lay down. and even started a saline lock and gave her fluids since im certified first responder through the army.
She should have treated you so much better then this. and i think it is for the better that you cut off all ties to her. If she can' take care of you when your life is in her hands. She deserves to be alone as she is a selfish, nasty spirited person. Just diming in with my two cents. : D
 
Sorry to hear you and your girlfriend broke up over this. Perhaps she is at a point in her addiction where it's best - you have to put your own well-being first. Still sad though <3

Don't take it personally if some people assumed you were male. It seems to be the default. People frequently think I am male for some reason.

I don't really understand what the terms mean to (insufflated, or plugging). She shot me up with a needle is all I know. It was a clean one not used by anyone else.
"Insufflated" means snorted up the nose, and "plugging" means rectal administration (up the bum). I think some people were just wondering because you didn't say in your original post whether it was injected or not. 100mg (likely what one "cap" is) is a lot of heroin for someone who has never done opioids before to inject. Sorry you had to go through this. I'm glad you didn't enjoy it though and never want to do it again, you won't have to worry about it destroying your life (aside from the impact on you because someone you care about is addicted).

Are you still friends with your ex-girlfriend?
 
Breaking it off was the right call. If you found out you were getting curious about it then you were heading down the wrong road my friend. Best of luck to you.
 
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