starshine_seraphim
Bluelighter
lying backwards staring upon the burnt blue sky.. i sat back and marveled at the greatness of it all. thoughts back to a different time when things perhaps were a bit easier, but all in all it's been a wild ride up until this point. the things that make us realize how fragile everything really is. when i was younger, things came so easily, and when everything was new. the newness is the heart and happiness of a great many people, myself included. the happiness i ever am in any particular situation is when it's new. something experienced for the first time, something that makes you wonder how much longer the fun will last. then sets in dread, of when it will all go away, like everything else does. friends, lovers, acquaintences, family, they are all very near and dear to most people, just in different amounts at different times. how can happiness last? when the love you have come to know and love renews itself everyday, and presents itself with another manifestation of the original part you fell in love with. according to kahlil gibrahn, all love which is not springing is always dying. we can't be content with the same flat line of existence, but if we can find something which renews itself, maybe not everyday, but often enough, then we have found something which quenches the thirst to experience new things. dark, black pits of sadness are often brought about by losing something which you fell in love with once. most people settle for what available and whats there at the time, only to be malcontent. green, green grass, kissing the azure blue sky, nestled to sleep by beautiful songbirds, making you forget for just a brief moment how lonely this world can truly be. sitting alone in the tree, overlooking a rare patch of life untouched by man's hand. i used to be so content walking in wilderness, lying in creekbeds and writing stories that i would never finish. stories of a different time, usually in the future, when things are different. i sat in perhaps one of the most gorgeous areas in existence, only to write about something that was different, and maybe somehow better. i've lost myself in this world, perhaps i've slipped into a dark place where i only think about other places and other things. perhaps one day this will pull me from this world into another, but for the moment it suits me, and for now, at least. i've come to grips with the things that plague me. Like drugs, you can have a peaceful cooexistence if you remember the following bit of information: (stolen from 'fear and loathing in las vegas') "you can turn your back on a person, but you can't turn your back on a drug". Along those same lines, you can't turn your back on the dark parts of your soul that eat at you everyday. the minute you try to ignore it, it only digs deeper and scratches harder at the self-esteem and courage you've gained up to this point. try and forget all the things that hurt you, and you don't learn from them. we all know you must experience pain to enjoy pleasure, but when you forget the things that brought you to this point, you've lost your roots. some think an ignorant person talks too much, and maybe some do. when others share their knowledge, treat it as a gift. the wise are not always silent, keeping their experiences to themselves. some think that the wise are silent because the stories others share are new to the ones sharing, and the wise have already experienced it. does this make one intelligent, wise, or experienced? hardly. think back for a moment to the earliest point in your life that you can remember. myself, the earliest i can remember is probably around four years old. at that age, do you question the force that keeps you breathing? do you wonder about things and wonder why we are here? i sure didn't. i look back on the times when i was younger, and i wonder why i didn't question more than i did. i was so curious, but about mostly mundane things. how things worked. why this happens in that situation. why does the food we eat keep up going? why do we get hungry? why do we have to use the bathroom? why do we have to go to school? why do we have to eat things we don't like? why can't we eat the things that taste good? why do we have to eat our food in an uncomfortable manner? why can't we wear pajamas to school? why do our parents have to fight and yell at each other? questions i often asked, but seldom got the right answer, or at least the answer i wanted to hear. now, sadly enough i keep asking myself questions that i doubt i will ever get the answer i'd like to hear. isn't it funny how things work out that way sometimes? we all have questions, but we usually already have the answer we want to hear, we're just waiting for someone else to say it, someone else to confirm our owns fears, hopes, hatred or whatever. how much happiness can you find in others? and not in just a physical or emotional sense, but in a sense of belonging. a sense of someone else telling you that you are in the right. reassurance from peers is perhaps one of the best forms of therapy. also perhaps one of the best self-esteem boosters. support from others is a powerful tool. how many bad decisions have you made under the influence of others? for that matter, how many good or otherwise worthwhile decisions have you made under the influence of others? how many questions do you ask yourself a day? how many facts or truths do you question on a daily basis? the beginning of all knowledge starts with a question, so don't let others get you down if they are offended that you question the truths they have come to grow with and feel comfortable with. by nature we fear what we do not understand, and feel secure with that we do. how can we gain knowledge if all we do is stay in the warmth's of the truths we know? below i will put perhaps my most favorite quote: "No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride . . . and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well . . . maybe chalk it off to forced consciousness expansion: Tune in, freak out, get beaten." --Hunter S. Thompson so much truth lies in that statement. if only more of us would accept and maybe even embrace the unexpected, we would be a wiser and perhaps a more forgiving people. perhaps one of the most exhilarating moments in life is when you are caught in a situation you weren't quite prepared for. you learn and adapt the most when you aren't quite prepared for what is going to happen next. the most memorable experiences in life come from those moments when we were caught by surprise.. maybe it was healthy, maybe it wasn't, but if you live to tell the tale, you have acquired that much more wisdom and/or experience. how many stories that you share with your friends start off with an event you weren't prepared for? don't they make the best stories? remember this in your travels: the wise are not always the silent, and the fool is not always the person with their mouth open. sharing stories is a way for us to share what we've learned, as well as inform others to new things. if you tell someone something they already know, don't sweat it. don't look at it as if they are above you because they experienced it before you did, or they experienced it in a way that is superior to you. keep telling stories, keep telling your experiences, for the true messenger of knowlege is sharing.
