• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

One night stands.... Is it OK for both genders to do it?

BadHero

BadHero

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 30, 2015
Messages
56
Location
Essex
I'll admit that I have had a few one night stands. Probably somewhere in the region of 15-20.

I had an on/off relationship with a total twat nugget for 12 years. He used to break up with me so he could sleep with someone else without it being classified as cheating.

I spoke to someone about this predicament and they said to me "to get over one, you get under another". I took their advice. Every time he ended it with me, off I went to find myself someone.

I knew the people I was sleeping with, apart from 2 occasions. I always used protection and would get checked regularly for my own peace of mind. But, whether I knew them or not, someone always knew where I was and that I was safe.

I was talking to someone about one night stands and she told me it was disgusting for women to do that sort of thing but it's OK for men.

I'm one of these people that believes if it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander. If a man is good enough to bag 100 women and he's sensible and takes precautions, why can a woman not do the same?

I'm not ashamed that I had one night stands. My current partner was meant to be a one night stand.... We've been together 2 and a half years.
 
Sure it is ok. Fuck what anyone else thinks. You were safe (safer than many of us would ever be, too) and weren't even in a relationship so there wasn't even cheating involved. Anyone who thinks women shouldn't be allowed the same type of sexual freedom as men is either prudish or misguided.
 
I never saw anything wrong with it. But once said person had finished their tangent, I actually started to feel guilty and then got slightly annoyed.

I could understand if I had done something terrible but, outside of a relationship, isn't sex just sex?
 
BadHero said:
I was talking to someone about one night stands and she told me it was disgusting for women to do that sort of thing but it's OK for men.
Click to expand...
that's called a double standard.

and, if it's ok for men but not for women, who are all these men supposed to have their one night stand with?

:)

alasdair
 
Sure if both people are honest and it doesn't involve cheating. Your overall view on sex and relationships doesn't seem very mature/heathy tho imo at least in regards to the first relationship. Two wrongs don't make a right and all of that. Why would you have a 12 year relationship with someone who doesn't even care about you?
 
Either it's ok for both or it's wrong for both, double standards are just sexism which I'm firmly against.

Personally I think it's ok for both, I did it once,
 
There is no right answer here just people's opinions. The only opinion that really counts in your life is your own opinion. That being said, I personally feel that nobody should have one night stands, men or women. I do however feel women should definitely stay away from it more so than men.
 
BadHero said:
I never saw anything wrong with it. But once said person had finished their tangent, I actually started to feel guilty and then got slightly annoyed.

I could understand if I had done something terrible but, outside of a relationship, isn't sex just sex?
Click to expand...

yeah, someone's upset because you're getting serious dick while they're stuck with the same dick.
OR they can't understand the relationship you have with the other guy.

Or they're just conservative.

There's probably a few other options i've overlooked with my false dilemma but long story short, if you're safe and taking adequate precautions like you did, and are on a level playing field with the other sexual partner then i'd see no problem.

Takes two to tango don't it? Otherwise it's just masturbation as far as i can see...
 
BadHero said:
I was talking to someone about one night stands and she told me it was disgusting for women to do that sort of thing but it's OK for men.
Click to expand...

This person is clearly judgemental and seems to be quite the opposite of a feminist. Equality!!! Yes women can sleep with whoever they want!
My partner was only a "friends with benefit" situation at first... been over five years...
Double standards are ridiculous. Do what YOU want.
 
nuttynutskin said:
Sure if both people are honest and it doesn't involve cheating. Your overall view on sex and relationships doesn't seem very mature/heathy tho imo at least in regards to the first relationship. Two wrongs don't make a right and all of that. Why would you have a 12 year relationship with someone who doesn't even care about you?
Click to expand...

I have a very mature attitude towards sex and/or relationships.... I have only cheated on someone once and that was when I told my ex I wanted out of our relationship and he refused... I spent the night with another man and told my partner at the time what I had done and he left me.

I spent, on and off, 12 years with him because he caught me young, trained me to meet his needs and totally destroyed my self esteem, made me doubt my worth and when I did contest his opinions, I got beaten. My ex broke over 30 of my bones.

I never left him because he had honestly made me believe I was worthless. I used to cry if the scaled tipped over 7 stones and this was throughout my 20's. I wasn't allowed a cellphone because having one meant I was cheating on him even though I never spoke to anyone.

The night I met someone else and cheated on my ex, I was in a pub talking to a friend. Someone they knew came over and it sort of carried on from there.... The man I slept with that night was listening to the conversation I was having with my friend. I went outside and he followed me. This guy said to me, and I quote "I don't understand what you're going through or why you put up with it, but I do have a question for you". I asked him what his question was and his reply was, quite simply, "can I kiss you?".... We went home together that night. The following morning I dumped my ex and told him I was done and I waited for that other guy to come back into my life.... Almost 3 years later, me and the man who asked to kiss me are together, happy and looking for a wedding venue.

That was the only time I took the "to get over one, you get under another" advice and it served me very well.

It's not about having an immature attitude to sex, which I don't. It's about realising that, fundamentally, the act is done for pleasure. It's not about love 100% of the time. Sometimes it's just about needs, wants and desires.
 
It's only not ok if you mess your life up ..or if you really care about what ppl think and your business gets out there but in all reality no it's perfectly fine to hook up with whoever of age willing of course ..no rape stuff obviously lol
 
...
Hi, the person who passed judgement on her behaviors was a female.
Do you suggest that females are projecting the double standard of male chauvinism, or do you think that maybe (just maybe) females are just as capable of judgement and social constructs as a male?
....
 
Don Quixote said:
...
Hi, the person who passed judgement on her behaviors was a female.
Do you suggest that females are projecting the double standard of male chauvinism, or do you think that maybe (just maybe) females are just as capable of judgement and social constructs as a male?
....
Click to expand...

Both genders certainly play a part in it.
 
Don Quixote said:
...
Hi, the person who passed judgement on her behaviors was a female.
Do you suggest that females are projecting the double standard of male chauvinism, or do you think that maybe (just maybe) females are just as capable of judgement and social constructs as a male?
....
Click to expand...
Absolutely. I think patriarchy is perpetuated by - and negatively effects - both men and women.

Such inconsistent value judgements are not confined to either gender.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top