The lovely Dr. and 'father' of modern psychoanalytic theory said that, and it's a tried and true, however harsh and ugly fact that always struck me being quite true.
As you may have already realized, any asshole with either an elementary education or a good generation on this strange planet of ours could figure this one out, so I'm by no means stroking this arbitrary intellectuals ego by relating it to my own intellectual path.
No, just an arbitrary rumination on the state of things as they appear to me full of the essential and necessary chemicals needed to face this grim, opportunistic, isolated, and above-all materialistically technological ordeal of an incubus we all face regardless of race, social status, or ideology.
I've been listening a great deal to the audio lectures of the late Allan Watts as of late, and it's been a marvelous turning point in the spectrum I've been grappling with for years. From grim nihlism at the one polar extreme, to absolute satori (buddha nature) at the other, he's made of mine a once inexorable existence to a palatable one, although not ideal quite yet as I've still a lot to absorb and experience.
Starting with writing, as well as learning to draw and paint, landing a decent job despite the burden of taking a 50 percent decrease in wages on account of this mindless conditional discharge hanging over my head (expiring in 6 months; but even then I'm unsure of whether I'll be eligible to work in healthcare ever again. Horrible nightmarish position yet rewarding in certain ways beyond the payrate (16-18/h); but that's an essay for a different time), and trying to give my all to my new position on the staff here, I think I've gone from a state of catatonic anhedonia and despair, surfaced from the depths of a 2-week long benzodiazapine withdrawal cold turkey like a anchor sent from an angel into the quicksand of that ugly, vicious thing.
Hot damn, that was one bastard of a run-on sentence. I've often admired the skill that goes into a TRUE run-on, much to the dismay of every literary educational authority I've come across. They fail to see the outright beauty and skill required to make the thing work, and for this I pity them. They are fools with no resolve and sure as hell no money, otherwise they'd be better fit to actually arm the youth of this nation (states) with the knowledge ACTUALLY required to survive once released from the peaceful and harmless womb of public school, ideally without duping them into pursueing meaningless and exorbitantly expensive degrees, bogging them down in debt for the rest of their natural lives, and, if they decide on procreation, the rest of their childrens lives as well (if I understand the credit laws correctly, and I believe I do).
These tangents are whimsical and fun, but a digression nonetheless. I'd apologize, but I reserve that admonition these days. Too many apologies can chip away at a man, and I've been hacked up and over far too many times to give any more of myself away for flighty reasons. The same goes with respect, now that I think of it.
So.. What's the point you ask? Nothing in particular today. Just random gibberish. Stream-of-consciousness prattle, but with, I feel, a gradient pure and elegant streak in the prose.
No conclusions today. Sorry kids, if you want answers, either cross your fingers, stare at the stars until your eyes bleed epiphanies, or sit cross-legged with a snoot-full of the 4-substituted tryptamine of your choosing.
I've no quarter to ask, and none to give.
Thou
