Well after what was a longer absence then I thought I have decided to step down from being a moderator of this site. So much has changed since the day I took the position. Prior to being a mod I merely frequented the site for years, nearly a decade, before I was told to apply as Id make a good addition.
Back then I was new on methadone and still very much involved in all types of behavior. Drugs have always been a part of my life and although I still partake in them I just feel the strong desire to be a member of the community waning. Its not that I no longer value the mission or what makes this site important its more like I simply dont think or surround myself with drugs or the idea of them.
I've developed a decent number of hobbies not pertaining to drugs that have in a sense removed me from thinking about them a lot and its almost as if i have to switch on the desire to talk or share about them rather then it being innate like it use to.
In a way it makes me happy. There was a time where as a junkie my life revolved around drugs which meant at the very least thinking about them constantly. Now I can go all day without so much a thought other then may nightly joint or maybe getting a drink at a bar.
I love you guys and I love this site but the one thing i know i am is a person who changes. The ability to move on and leave my past there is what has shaped my existence. Though I cant really see myself never returning I can see it being a flight of fancy more then a daily event.
The blog posts tell the story, it is a good one... it is the fairy tale ending that shouldnt have been. It should serve as a light of hope that over 6 years I went from a tale of suffering, decay and heart ache... to one of life drive and desire. And I am still best friends with my g/f i use to post about, in some ways shes actually doing better then i am.
They say happy endings only exist in fairy tales or "once an addict always an addict" I say nuts to that, nuts to anyone who says otherwise
Back then I was new on methadone and still very much involved in all types of behavior. Drugs have always been a part of my life and although I still partake in them I just feel the strong desire to be a member of the community waning. Its not that I no longer value the mission or what makes this site important its more like I simply dont think or surround myself with drugs or the idea of them.
I've developed a decent number of hobbies not pertaining to drugs that have in a sense removed me from thinking about them a lot and its almost as if i have to switch on the desire to talk or share about them rather then it being innate like it use to.
In a way it makes me happy. There was a time where as a junkie my life revolved around drugs which meant at the very least thinking about them constantly. Now I can go all day without so much a thought other then may nightly joint or maybe getting a drink at a bar.
I love you guys and I love this site but the one thing i know i am is a person who changes. The ability to move on and leave my past there is what has shaped my existence. Though I cant really see myself never returning I can see it being a flight of fancy more then a daily event.
The blog posts tell the story, it is a good one... it is the fairy tale ending that shouldnt have been. It should serve as a light of hope that over 6 years I went from a tale of suffering, decay and heart ache... to one of life drive and desire. And I am still best friends with my g/f i use to post about, in some ways shes actually doing better then i am.
They say happy endings only exist in fairy tales or "once an addict always an addict" I say nuts to that, nuts to anyone who says otherwise
Live well dude, o7 (that means salute)
